entranceway | [Video] And if I only could

[Loki's expression is very morose when the feed cuts in. Anyone who knows him could tell you it isn't an expression he wears often at all. Anyone who knows him well, can tell you that it is actually an obvious sign that Loki is gravely conflicted. And he hates being conflicted.

So, the dark haired former demigod squares his shoulders and steels his expression to one that betrays less of his internal struggle.]

In light of recent… events, anyone with whom I've shared… [He was simply amazed by how difficult the words were coming to him. It was probably too soon after the sudden transition back to his former self. The memories of his previous life were still far too fresh. But it was probably those memories that pushed him to ensure those 'friends' he had weren't hurt by the man he actually was.] a bond is welcome to proceed as if such events never transpired. [Yes, in other words, there is no need to try to reach out or rekindle that friendship, because he just wants to forget it ever happened. This was how he would protect them because he knew he couldn't change.] Do not mistake the exuberant child you met for the man he can easily become.

To Billy Kaplan:

Billy Kaplan, I wish to speak with you concerning our… [What did he even call it? Billy had been, in Loki's eyes, his best friend and he still had those memories. Would the other even recognise him? Would he recognise Billy?] …I'm Loki Laufeyson. Please get in touch with me when you can.

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Pretend it never happened? That's your solution?

[ She'd debated on whether or not she should answer this message. Wisdom and caution pointed emphatically to no, but she wasn't always so reliable in listening to them.

Which is why she's here, looking faintly bemused as she replies over the phone, memories from the event still just as fresh in her memory as they likely are in his. ]

And yours would be that I continue to play nice and remain their friend until such a time that these memories no longer have a hold over my actions and I would use them to my own means?

[Yes, hello Natasha. He doesn't mind being blunt with you because you know what and who he really is. He's hoping that just maybe you can knock some sense into these soft-hearted fools.]

You of all people should know I am incapable of change. Of just how dangerous I am.

Who's to say the memories will stop having a hold over your actions? Memories don't always work like that.

[ Maybe they should knock some sense into him instead. She'd have offered him some of his own cognitive recalibration weeks ago if she'd thought it would do any good. ]

What I know is that you seem just as adept at deceiving yourself as you claim to be at deceiving others.

And I don't believe anyone is incapable of change.

You would take that risk? And if you're wrong? If I deceive you and the end result hurts those a part of me once cared for?

[Loki's tone was far too cold and far too detached. He was trying too hard not to care. It would probably take a Hulk punch for the proper cognitive recalibration power in Loki's case.

He let out a defeated sigh with her next words, expression shifting to something a hint more sorrowful and nostalgic.]

Frigga said much the same thing just before her death.

Do the other Avengers share your sympathies?

You run the risk of doing that to anyone you care for. The difference here might be you caring for someone to begin with.

[ Which might be a little surprising, but she'd always suspected him of deeper motives than anything so obvious of what he proclaimed loud and long ~~and madly~~. Whether this show of remorse could be trusted was another matter entirely, but she confronted it all the same. ]

Your mother sounds like she knew you well.

I make a habit of only speaking for myself. Their opinions are their own.

You're going to feed me that... what is it? That children's tale with the green monster and the Wheres? With all the snow and oddly decorated boxes? You think that it would solve the 'Loki problem' if I only had a heart? [~~That's Whos, Loki.~~ He seems to get petulant for a moment, offended by the idea, but really, she might have a point. Even if it is as fine as a pin head.]

I will... consider it. Perhaps.

[He looks thoughtful for a moment before continuing.]

Do you not think that your diverging opinion might put a rift between yourself and your team? [And normally, he would absolutely play on that rift. He would wedge it further, pry it apart to divide the Avengers, but...]

[ It takes her a moment to understand what he's talking about and then oh god. She'll never unsee that. Her face twitches a moment before she gives in to the urge to laugh, because she can't help it. The fact that he only looks petulant over the matter just makes it all the more amusing. ]

It's the Whos, actually. And no I wasn't, but now that you've made the comparison, I think you've just fed it to yourself.

[ Did this make Thor the reindeer dog?

She gives him a dry look for that assessment. ]

Our team is made up of diverging opinions. We all have our unique outlooks on a situation. That was the point of us becoming a team. [ He'd just given them a common enemy to get the ball rolling. Now they were making it up as they went. ]

[Loki rolls his eyes at her because, do not laugh at him, mortal!]

What? [It takes him a second, but he processes what she's saying and he just pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration. Yep. He did walk right into this one, so he had no room to get pissy.]

A team of opposites. That seems rather self-destructive. [Pot calling the kettle...] Regardless, I suppose you lot did find common ground in the end.

[ She'll laugh at him anyway. Maybe if he laughed at himself more, he wouldn't be in this predicament.

Still, she grins when he realizes what he's done, possibly more amused than she really should be. ]

Now all you need is a Santa suit, a sleigh, and your brother in reindeer antlers and you'd be all set.

[ Her smile turns wry at that. Definitely a bit of hypocrisy there. ] We never claimed we weren't. I believe it was Doctor Banner that referred to us as a ticking time bomb. But yes, we did. I wouldn't be expecting a fruit basket of gratitude anytime soon, however.

If Thor is to share in the humiliation, then perhaps it would not be so terrible. [There's a hint of that trickster gleaming through in his sudden smirk. The one that didn't mind humiliating himself for the sake of a prank.]

[He may have some attachments now, but that doesn't mean he's suddenly gained some kind of complete conscience. He still doesn't regret his actions. Just fears what he might do in the future.] An apt comparison.

See? You're not entirely without a sense of humor.

[ Her lips quirk faintly. ] He's astonishingly good at those.

The point is, we have bigger problems here than each other. I think that's something we can both acknowledge.

I never claimed to be. [But he never gave anyone a chance to see it.]

I have made this argument with several of your companions in my time here. I have no reason to war with you when there are much worse threats of which to be wary. [An alliance, yes. He can do that. A friendship? That is something he won't allow. Simply because it had been something he'd had without his usual memories in tact.] But do not forget with whom you're dealing.

[That warning would never have been given before he'd actually experienced those friendships.]

[ The warning actually makes her smile, a wry curve of her lips because yes, that was something very unlike him. He'd been even more affected by this event than she could have predicted, apparently. Interesting. She might need to talk to Billy. ]

I never forget that.

[Video] And if I only could

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