audio; 002

Nov. 23rd, 2016 11:48 pm
sesameseedpuns: (g r o a n s)
[personal profile] sesameseedpuns
[ Like he wasn't gonna get in on this month. This, his favorite of literally all holidays and probably one of the only general dates that Bob is not bad at remembering. ]

I just wanted to let everyone know that I'm making a turkey tomorrow. It's a Thanksgiving thing. Which maybe not everyone has where they come from. The history is pretty horrible anyway.

What really matters is cooking good food and thinking about the things you're happy to have. Even the annoying ones. Like this year, I'm just glad there's a kitchen for cooking turkey in. That's pretty much the only thing I can think of, because I got kidnapped last month and already almost died. This place is awful, and I hate it, and a lot of you probably hate it.

And that's okay.

I'm just gonna be thankful that something awful isn't happening at this exact moment. And if anybody wants to have a normal-ish Thanksgiving dinner or just wants to eat food, I'll have food. So. Thanks, I guess.

voice

Nov. 4th, 2016 08:58 pm
mcgucket: (fuckin nerd sits alone)
[personal profile] mcgucket
[So Fiddleford's been here for about two weeks now, but for several reasons it took Fiddleford that long before he realized that he never really introduced himself to most of the other residents since arriving yet. Whoops.]

Howdy, everyone? My name is Fiddleford Hadron McGucket, Ph.D, and... ah, I would'a introduced myself sooner, but... well, pardon my tardiness. Better to do so now than takin' as long as a month of Sundays or never, right?

[For those with good hearing, they might be able to hear some sort of rhythmic tapping in the background for a moment, before he responds again.]

Anyhow, it's still a lot to get used to this dimension, but I'd still like to try to get along with all of you folks for the time bein'. [Tap tap. Tap tap tap...] And hopefully not ever have to deal with somethin' like last week again...
curiousher: (Upside down)
[personal profile] curiousher
[Alice has decided to occupy an empty bedroom today (interestingly, not her own) and when the camera turns on she's flopped on her back on the bed, with her hair dangling over the side.]

I've been thinking a lot recently...or, well. The thought just sort of came to me, as thoughts often do. But...it must be so hard to be here when you aren't from Wonderland, isn't it? It's fine for me of course, since I live here, but...you must be very lonely, right? Being so far from home, far from the people who love you...not that you aren't loved here, or at least I hope you are. What I mean is, it must be easy to feel lost here, especially for those of you who have been here a few years, or who are here by themselves.

[She sighs.]

I suppose all you can really do is band together...I wish there was more I could do for you. Oh, but I did find this in the attic! [She rummages around off-screen and produces an instrument.] That's what I'll do! I'll play you a song, and try to cheer you all up!

[And she puts it to her lips and plays.

Badly. Very badly. It's worse than a shrieking recorder and you have to endure it for a full five minutes before the video ends.
]
mviw: (99)
[personal profile] mviw
[When the broadcast starts, it goes from silence to the immediate noise of two people screaming, punctuated by the sound of laser gunshots and mechanical whirring. It seems the device is on a side-table, giving a flat view of Ford and Alphys… perched on another table. Alphys is curled up, hands over her head, looking incredibly distressed, while Ford seems to be shooting at something off-camera.]

Oh m-my god, oh my god, we’re going to d-die here, I’m so s-sorry, I didn’t know they were all going to start...

Don’t worry! I happen to have excellent aim.

[All of a sudden, something takes a flying leap up onto the table, and Alphys yells as Ford shoots it down. The ensuing shot causes the device to fall over, revealing the floor is absolutely covered in knife wielding box tentacles, some with multiple arms, some with multiple knives, all running over each other and stabbing the floor, themselves, and the table. Alphys is still yelling. Ford is still shooting. It looks like an absolute catastrophe.]

Maybe we shouldn’t have prototyped them with the basic ability to learn--

Well it w-would have been fine if it was just, y-you know, one of them! They weren’t all supposed to turn on at the same time!

[Suddenly, Alphys turns her head and seems to notice the device, turning herself around and reaching out to grab it, bringing it in close to her and Ford.]

Uh, t-this is totally under control! No need to panic! I d-don’t, uhm, know how long this has been broadcasting, but, it’s f-fine! … And m-maybe don’t come to Ford’s room for, uhm, a little bit, for uh. Reasons.

Is that thing on? Uh, I mean-- Yes! Everything is absolutely, 100% under control. There is no need to worry about anythi-- [Ford cuts himself off and hisses.] Watch out, Alphys! I think it just tasted my blood!!

Oh g-god please don’t let that do anything new.

[And the device blinks off, cutting out the mechanical whirring sounds with it.]

audio; 001

Oct. 9th, 2016 07:12 pm
sesameseedpuns: (I'VE NEVER BEEN UPSET)
[personal profile] sesameseedpuns
[ There is a monumental amount of fumbling going on on the other side of the device, even when it's been set up and appropriately turned on to record. It takes Bob a second to figure out exactly what he's doing, but he picks up on it sooner or later. Technologically adept, here he comes. ]

Oh god, it's on. Wait. [ Probably not a great first impression choice. ] Hi. I guess I'm looking for whoever owns this phone. I wasn't... stealing it. I mean, this might look pretty bad since I have it. Buuut it's really nice, so there's no way I could get a plan for it. And I couldn't afford to replace it if my kids tried to put it in the deep fryer, so. It's better if I just give it back before they ever know I had it.

[ None of those things are jokes. They're very matter-of-factly put. As far as he figures today, he probably came out of a weird side of Mr. Fischoeder's hedge maze and someone will try to tell him he owes a life debt for scratching their favorite phone.

Bob sounds Tired. ]


God, am I just making a memo? This idea was bad. It's not good. No one would even be able to hear this if they lost it. I'm just gonna leave it here by these nice... topiaries, and pretend this isn't happening, because I've lost my mind.

[ For a long moment it seems like Bob's going to leave it at that. Naturally, he pops back on, already sounding like he's losing the lid on the cool he was pretending to have. ]

And I just wanna remind everyone that kidnapping is illegal! It doesn't matter how rich you are or how-- how "cool" you think your Alice in Wonderland theme park is gonna be, which it's not!

[ Of course, actioning in at the gardens is also a viable option. ]

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