epiccombo: (Back off)
[personal profile] epiccombo
[Guess who's cutting class? You guessed right.

Puck's had enough of stupid chickens (sorry, Professor Pie) and pointless classes like arithmancy. So he's just chilling out down a random hallway thinking up ways to get back at Professor Buckingham for that little stunt with the sparks. He hasn't come up with anything yet, but when he does, the professor won't know what hit him.

Anyone's welcome to stop by with a lecture (which he'll mostly ignore) or just to chat.]
sadfreezingbrit: (lecturing)
[personal profile] sadfreezingbrit
[ "Apparition Lessons are a twelve-week program offered by the Ministry of Magic to Hogwarts sixth-years turning seventeen before August 31. These lessons are not part of the normal Hogwarts curriculum; they cost twelve Galleons. The apparation lessons take place in the Great Hall; the Apparition wards placed around Hogwarts are removed from the room for the duration of the lesson."

It's clearly Friday morning, contrary to what the OOC date is trying to sell you. Your Apparition instructor for the year is one Philip LaFresque, currently hurrying into the Great Hall well after his students, dressed in dignified ministry gear.

He addresses the class without breaking his stride.

My apologies for the delay, I was held back by a personal matter. Please put your essays on Splinching injuries on the desk in that corner if you haven't done so already. Today-

[ Finally halting and turning in front of the class he waves his wand in a circle above his head, making several hoops appear on the floor; one green and one red for each student. ]

-we will continue with short distance apparition, so take your places in the red hoops and try to get to green in one piece. Those of you interested in trying Side-Along Apparition first may come to the front of the class, otherwise please raise your hands if you have any further questions.

[ That lovely speech done Mister LaFresque will make his rounds with a clipboard, monitoring the students' progress and watching out for any potential injuries or missing eyebrows.

After class Philip will make a quick stop at the library. As an employee for the ministry he doesn't have an office at Hogwarts, but he does have a room in Hogsmeade for the duration of his classes, so students and professors alike may find him there during their weekend trip.
dashboardlite: (Keep it classy.)
[personal profile] dashboardlite
[Step right up, girls and boys, to the class that very well may be the best class in the entire school. Now, let’s not play coy. Everyone knows that the practical skills in this particular course can be applied to every aspect of your daily life. Who knows? You might meet a Hinkypunk on your next woodland hike!

Your illustrious professor - Winchester, Dean Winchester - and Head of Gryffindor House stands before you, twirling a long cypress wand between his fingers, chewing a piece of Droobles Best Blowing Gum.

What poise! you declare, what attitude!

But bloody Hell he’s so cool works just as well as he pops a bubble the size of your head.

All right, lissen up!

[With a lazy wave of his wand, his gum disappears and the classroom door shuts. Dean straightens.]

We got one heckuva day ahead of us, so let’s get started.

cue Yackety Sax )
tadanokusuriuri: Very superstitious (Keeping secrets)
[personal profile] tadanokusuriuri
[Out behind the castle, half-hidden under some color-changing flowering vines and surrounded by an assortment of oddly-shaped plants, is Professor Morita's greenhouse. If you're taking Herbology, come on in; there's a large, unfinished wooden table in the center of it, set with enough chairs for everyone and ringed with rows of potted plants.]

[A word to the wise: Professor Morita will give you all the warnings you need, before you need them, but he'll only give them once. And if you're too stupid to listen...]

[Well, the only help he's going to give you will be healing whatever stupid thing you did to yourself. And quietly mocking you for the rest of your academic career, so you remember not to be a dumbass. Because he warned you, and it should've been enough.]

Lesson plans under the cut! )
brainkegger: ((Tara) Disaster area)
[personal profile] brainkegger
[Professor Gregson is, for the start of her classes today, anyway, mostly herself. She's a little frazzled, clearly, but that's just because T was out partying in the forest last night and, well, hopefully her students understand that that just isn't her, so...

So they'll understand if T decides to party in the middle of class, too.]

Lesson plans under here )
thestormcomes: (boldness stands alone)
[personal profile] thestormcomes
[Newcomers to the subject will find Professor La Fère standing stoically at the front of the classroom, wand (pine, phoenix feather, 10", and unsurprisingly unyielding for those of you who care) on the desk beside him. An owl lurks in the corner of the room, still slightly ruffled from Professor Buckingham's charms.]

As you are all undoubtedly aware by now, Arithmancy is most often used to predict the future, but it should not be mistaken for anything remotely similar to the study of Divination. We work with numbers, we do not gaze senselessly into the crystal ball, and unless you were born a skilled Seer there is no point in attempting to scry the results of your O.W.L.s.

[He was a student once. He knows how it is.]

You will be working from three books this semester: L. Wakefield's Numerology, M. Carneiro's Grammatica, and Vector's New Theory of Numerology. Reading is required, not suggested. You will complete seven essays and take three tests including your O.W.L., which is cumulative. We build from the ground up, and the first chapters of each book are just as relevant and important as the last. For the time being, wands away.

[Because Olivier is feeling especially generous today (or rather, he's a bit worn out from wrestling his owl away from another professor), all levels of Arithmancy, from beginners to advanced, get to have a little more fun than usual.]

You want fun? Numbers are fun. )
airshipswank: (dressed for a funeral | walking shadow)
[personal profile] airshipswank
[ Good morning, darling seventh year students! Remember when Charms was a harmless subject with a lovable old professor and a slim to none chance of suffering emotional or physical trauma? No? Excellent.

Today each of you will find a candle sitting on the desk in front of them. Don't worry, unlike last time it will not grow teeth and attack you on sight. So sit down, get comfortable and listen to the task at hand!

Now, given the dreadful quality of your memory charms last week I trust that at least none of you will have any trouble recalling... the freezing charms you were taught in your third year. Today-

[ He snaps his fingers, lighting all the candles in the room at once. ]

-you will freeze the small flame in front of you.

[ He allows for a dramatic pause and for his students to wonder what place child's play like that has in a seventh year class. ]

Of course there... is a catch. Not only do I expect your actual incantation to be silent, no, I... should also like you to move your wand and lips as if you were conjuring fire. Allow me to demonstrate.

[ Professor Buckingham draws his wand (Dogwood, dragon heartstring, 15¾”, rather flexible, of course) and aims a flowing motion and a booming Incendio! at the candle on his desk, but instead of flames his wand produces a jet of ice that freezes flame, candle and holder solid.

Cue moment to let the display sink in.

To maintain the appearance of one charm while executing another is the very peak of focus, control and unity between you and... your wand, not to mention quite the edge in a duel.

[ It's also a rather underhanded technique and greatly frowned upon by Professor La Fère... which is all the more reason to teach it passionately and thoroughly!

Buckingham grins broadly and moves to the side of the classroom in strides.

That said, good luck and... do mind the eyebrows, eh?

[ For any ghosts, members of the faculty or students not presently suffering from his class Professor Buckingham will be in his office, grooming his owl. He will also be wandering the hallways often enough, especially to return a little something to a certain Ravenclaw's office. ]

For the curious, everybody else's lesson plan under the cut! )
not_a_hero: (you're late)
[personal profile] not_a_hero
Today we will be making the Wit-Sharpening Potion. Every fourth year learns how but as some of you seem reluctant to use it despite your intellectual shortcomings, we're going to go over it again.

Your ingredients are ground scarab beetle, cut up ginger root, and armadillo bile. Do not forget to grab a mortar and knife when you collect your cauldron. I expect perfect results from fifth, sixth and seventh years and you can depend on losing house points for anything less. First, second and third years may gain points for the correct concoction. Fourth years: shut up.

You should all do your best if only in this one instance. The Wit-Sharpening Potion will make you all the more tolerable to deal with and will certainly improve your time spent in this class.

[Sherlock has set everything out in not the most organized of fashions but it's all there and recognizable. His own desk is a mess of equipment with human eyeballs in a jar and a string of thumbs tacked and hanging like Christmas tinsel.

When he isn't sat at his desk, doing more or less something completely different from what he's assigned, he's walking up and down to make sure everyone's on task. He might twirl just a bit on his turns and has a habit of dashing about and ignoring personal space bubbles.]
[personal profile] insidethechimney
[It's Divination time and the classroom - if an attic room, heavy with an eclectic mix of incense smoke (cinnamon bun, buttercream and vanilla) and filled with beanbags could really be called that - is a little noisier than usual. There's a clucking sound not often associated with schoolwork. It's coming from the chickens congregated around Professor Pie.]

Isn't it the meaniest mean thing that people cut up these sweeties for their entrails, just to see if their Quidditch team is going to catch one measly little shiny ball? I mean, it is really shiny. I can see why they want it. But the chickens want stuff too. Like to not be dead.

[She claps her hands together. Yes, she has a point and she's getting to it.]

So! Let's bring Divination into a new century of fantasticness by doing a little research experiment! Everyone's going to take a chicken and a diary. You've got to monitor your chicken - watch how it moves, how loud it is - and record what happens to you at all times. Every little thing could be a pirouette forward in the science of Divination! Next week, we'll gather all the records together and look for any correlation! Remember to keep your chicken with you at all times. I'll know if you don't and you'll lose...say, twenty-seven house points per minute not spent with the chicken.

[OOC: threads for the different year groups will be below! Feel free to ask Professor Pie questions or bond with your new feathery life partner.]
brainkegger: ((Buck) You are the worst fuckin' shit)
[personal profile] brainkegger
[By 8PM, Buck is just buzzed enough to think shooting a paintball gun at the side of the mansion is a good idea. So if you happen to hear some thumps or notice your window is suddenly bright green or something, well.]

Jimmy crack corn, and I don' care...

[Pop pop pop!]

Jimmy crack corn, and I don' care...

[Pop! Pop pop pop pop!]

Jimmy crack corn, and I [Pop!] don't [Pop!] care...

I hate this fuckin' house.
thestormcomes: (je nes saurai jamais)
[personal profile] thestormcomes
[Athos is one of those men who drinks in more than just a recreational manner.

He drinks when he's unhappy, he drinks when he's feeling cheerful (but let's face it, how often is that?), he drinks when it's appropriate and, more often than not, when he doesn't need to. His tolerance is fairly strong, then, what with him being a large male in the "prime" of his life, having trained his body to deal with alcohol of all sorts, but the past two days have been a painful exception.

Good thing he knows how to drink to combat the searing headache.

You may encounter him in several places:

1) Slumped on a counter in the kitchen, flagon of fine Chambertin in one hand,

2) In his (rather trashed, sadly) rooms, sprawled across a bed, pillow over his head, or

3) Reclining leisurely on the veranda of the Mansion, because there's nothing like fresh air to complement some fine wine.

Surely, someone can disturb his solace. They say that misery loves company.
epiccombo: (Pleased)
[personal profile] epiccombo
[In the midst of all the people complaining about headaches and feeling gross, there's Puck. He thinks he's figured out the secret to this whole thing: have a little of the hair of the dog that bit you.

It's what the glee club did that one time, and he figures it's worth another shot.

So he's taken up temporary residence in the kitchens, with a bottle of beer in hand, feeling pretty good about himself. Now that he's not puking his guts out, anyway.]

Yeah, this is totally the life.
thneedifestdestiny: No One Knows I'm Gone - Tom Waits (Lord knows it would be the first time)
[personal profile] thneedifestdestiny
[After eavesdropping hearing over the network that alcohol makes whatever this horrible sickness is go away, The Once-ler decides to give it a try, since it can't possibly be worse than what he woke up with.

More than half a bottle of Fluffed Marshmallow Vodka later, he's claimed a tea room for himself, with his guitar. Maybe he'd been looking for the music room? Does he know there's a music room? Does he remember there's a music room? Whatever. He just needed a change of scenery, and he's pretty cozy sitting on one of the fancier couches.

And he is singing a song and it sounds a little like this one.

Na, na! Nananana! Nananana na na nuh nuh nuh!
Woop-boop bo-dee-o-bo, I feel so much better now!

[He's a little sway-y, but he seems to be handling the guitar okay for the most part, except for the parts where he gets too into the lyrics and just idly strums it.]

My headache's all gone!
And I don't feel like I'm gonna puke my guts out.
Na, Na, Naaaaaah, nuhhhhh~

...Wait. How'd this go?
Na...Na, na, nan-n-n-n~

[Let's just lay down on the couch and drunkenly guitar over that part. LAKJDLASLSAALSDH!]

Hey, the ceiling's moving around
And my hands and feet feel pretty weird and tingly
And I'm not sure I can sit up...
But I can guitar somehow...I don't even know anymore
But I'm feeling so much better, nananana, na na nuh nuh nuh!
akapeanut: (Throwing up in my mouth...)
[personal profile] akapeanut
What the fuck is going on this time?

[George looks terrible. Her skin is pale and her eyes are glassy. She rubs a temple, but it doesn't seem to help.]

I feel awful. Is this event a flu or-- ugh, fuck, my voice is so annoying right now.

[It slowly dawns on her.]

I'm hungover, aren't I? But I don't get hungover...

[She huffs.]

Anybody have a good cure or are we gonna get magic candy, you think?


May. 28th, 2012 01:27 pm
likecurrency: (pic#3589415)
[personal profile] likecurrency
[The video pans around for a moment before focusing in on a neatly dressed blonde girl. She raises an eyebrow for a moment, a mix of amusement and mild confusion crossing her face, before she composes herself and begins to speak.]

Clearly, I'm not in my house or even my high school. That would raise the question of why I'd be waking up anywhere in my high school, but I wouldn't put anything past Mr. Schue and his lessons of the week. Or what he'd call . . . "bonding."

[She purses her lips briefly, then runs a hand through her hair.]

So, if anyone has any information on where I am or alternative methods of bonding that don't involve waking up in strange places that I could suggest to an entirely over-enthusiastic Glee club supervisor, that would be appreciated. Thanks.
airplanecups: (pic#3493053)
[personal profile] airplanecups
How do you turn this freakin' thing on? Does the blinky red light mean go?

[rustling, before the very shakey face of a gawky teenage boy comes into view ala the Blaire Witch Project.]

Uh, okay, so, could someone maybe tell me why the hell I was in my room like, forty seconds ago, and now I'm in Hyrule Castle? 'Cause I'm pretty sure that's the kind of thing a guy should know.

[tap tap tap.]

And it'd be super sweet if someone could tell me how this thing works, 'cause I've seriously tried it about twenty times now and I'm just hoping that by fifty I'll get to a point where someone actually responds, kind of like that Chuck E. Cheese deal where if you get five hundred tickets you get a BB gun or a huge stuffed animal or--um. Actually, I really hope not, 'cause I think I'd flip after about sixty and just throw it at the wall.
epiccombo: (Love language)
[personal profile] epiccombo
[Puck's in the music room by himself, jamming out with his guitar and playing anything and everything, whatever songs come to his mind.

Whoever happens to be passing by might even catch him singing to himself. It's something he's good at, and he doesn't care who's listening. An audience is great, and he gets a huge rush from that, but sometimes, he just needs to play for himself.

Anyone's welcome to join him. He's gonna be here for awhile, playing and singing and thinking things over.]
usskickass: (Kay that's kind of funny)
[personal profile] usskickass
[Beiste doesn't look herself. Her face is, at best, an approximation of herself. Her muscles ache with the effort of putting on a strong face again.

Somehow it was easier, back in Lima. Here there are too many people who'd be...disappointed in her.

She does her best to ignore the twinge of pain from her eye as she squints her eyes into the smile.]

Howdy. Just thought I'd let you guys know I'm back. I guess I wasn't gone so long I forgot this place. I spent over a year back home, though. Gotta say, it takes a girl a minute to get used to things again. That's, uh, that's why I didn't get around to saying 'hi'.

[Beiste shrugs.]

Well, that's all. I'll see you folks around, I suppose.

bicorn: (pic#3398758)
[personal profile] bicorn
[ Brittany's taken up temporary residence in a room that looks very similar to this one. The hallway door is left open allowing passersby a glimpse inside as well. Right now she's busy pulling various objects out of the closet to help with all the decorating. But! The most noticeable addition for those with a keen eye is a kitten sleeping at the foot of the bed. ]

023 - Video

May. 6th, 2012 04:24 pm
epiccombo: (Back off)
[personal profile] epiccombo
So, like, anyone notice that Beiste's flown the coop?

[He coughs.]

What? No, I don't care. Not really.

I wonder if she's gone home for good. It kinda sucks, though, 'cause who's going to organize our football games now?

[Yeah, that's Puck's main concern. Uh-huh.]

[video] 01

May. 6th, 2012 03:14 pm
bicorn: (pic#3283577)
[personal profile] bicorn
[ Looking straight (if a little confusedly) into the camera. ]

So... Wait. This is Wonderland?

I had a dream once with everyone from school and we were all here. Well, not here here but in Wonderland. Santana looked super hot in a top hat. She must have glued it on her hair because it never fell off, not even when we played crochet with the flamenco dancers.

Nobody ever died though. Just the JabbaWockeeZ. They didn't get to come back after final elimination. Only Sue was mad about it because she voted for them and not Status Quo and then she wanted my head but Santana wouldn’t let her take it so she put me at the bottom of the pyramid again as punishment, it really sucked.

But then Santana woke me up with her sweet lady kisses so everything was okay in the end. I bet this is just another taco dream and I'll wake up soon. Not with Santana though, it's a school night so she can't stay over.


May. 2nd, 2012 12:32 am
thisisherson: Speechless - Lady Gaga (And after all the drinks and bars)
[personal profile] thisisherson
[Kurt refuses to appear on camera in the state he's in. All he allows on the network is the following text:]

if i am ever uncharacteristically drunk or smoking during an event again

someone, be kind enough to stop me, even if i'm not myself. please. Please.
epiccombo: (Come on babe)
[personal profile] epiccombo
Okay, so, like... I got up and my room was totally like some random street in New York City.

And get this! There's aliens everywhere! Oh, and I kind of have this really big gun that's more like a laser. It's totally hardcore.

I thought the zombies from the last event were awesome, but this beats that by a thousand.

[He waves his really big gun at the camera and grins.]

[ooc: So what's going on here is that Puck's kind of found himself in the middle of Men in Black II, and he's pretty stoked about it.]
itsahotone: (oh hell no)
[personal profile] itsahotone
[So Santana leaves her room, ready to go kill Kurt for the endless racket at his fancy-pants party, and trips over something. There's a huge freakin' book right at her door, taking up space. And sure, she totally recognizes it after a second, and okay, she may be looking through it and snickering at the entries she finds, things like--

John Egbert Cameron Poe is a bigger butt-boy than Kurt Hummel

George Lass is a zombie

Amaterasu is a flea-bitten lesbo wolf

Shannon Beiste will die a smelly virgin

Evelyn Carnahan is a fugly slut

Dean Winchester Indiana Jones is on the FBI's Most Wanted list

Aang is a hippy tree-fucker

Rapunzel needs to donate to Locks of Love

Philip LaFresque Dr Alan Grant is a (psycho) 40 year old virgin dino-lover

Kenny McCormick is a panty-stealing pervert

Athos sells alcohol to minors

Noah Puckerman is never getting out of Lima alive

And it goes on from there. Everyone Santana's met and hasn't met in Wonderland is in there at least once, usually with added illustrations and cut-out magazine pictures. There's a picture of George with green crayon scribbled all over her skin, and Philip (...or whoever he currently is) is drawn humping a dinosaur skeleton. It's all very classy.

There are even some that don't have more detailed descriptions and instead just have a full page of drawings--Santana spends an extra moment snickering over the picture of Buckingham, doodles of pink and purple hearts and dicks all around him proclaiming ~*~SUPER GAY~*~ and things. Again, we point out the class of this little project.

All in all, Santana's pretty impressed.


Until she turns a page and sees, scrawled in bright red marker:

Santana Lopez is a dyke

Oh hell no.]

Who did this?!

[Of course, the second she says it, she regrets it because wow, she doesn't want anyone to see that. Maybe she can rip that page out first...]

(Feel more than free to a] blame Santana for this, b] come see what she is screaming about, or c] find the Burn Book on your own before she leaves her room. Give your characters insults to be included!)
usskickass: (Default)
[personal profile] usskickass
[Beiste is just BEAMING into the camera.]

Guess what, everybody? There's a football field set up out here!

[She is vibrating with excitement.]

I think it's just about time for that game, huh?
epiccombo: (Pissed)
[personal profile] epiccombo
[The video feed turns on, showing one Noah Puckerman, who doesn't look all that different. For one thing, he's really confused and very pissed off, because it took him all of two seconds to realize that he's not in McKinley anymore. That can mean only one thing: he's been dragged back to Wonderland.]

What the hell? I thought I was done with this place for good!

[He looks around him just to be sure that he hasn't wandered off to some random part of Lima. That has happened before, but nope. He's definitely back in the mansion.

And that pisses him off, because things were pretty chill back at McKinley. Okay, things were weird, but whatever, he was used to that. Puck turns back to glare at the camera.

He's starting to remember all too clearly just why he hates this place so much.]

Well, look what we have here. I guess you guys just can't get rid of me that easily.

020 - Video

Apr. 7th, 2012 06:27 pm
epiccombo: (You're not serious)
[personal profile] epiccombo
[Hi Wonderland, there's a very freaked out teenager staring at you through the communicator.

Being a ghost was awesome and kickass, but this is definitely not cool. Puck's just staring... and staring... and staring some more. His mouth is open and it's moving, but there aren't any sounds coming from it.

Yep, you guessed it.

Puck is mute, and that thought terrifies him.]


Apr. 5th, 2012 06:02 pm
thisisherson: Everything's Okay - Lenka ("How do I go on?")
[personal profile] thisisherson
[Kurt had been minding his own business, hanging out primarily on the first floor where everything was fancy and nothing hurt. That is, until yesterday, when he woke up like this. Yes, I changed my mind shh.

He's since wandered away from the first floor, since he can't take advantage of it like this (a penguin in a little top hat and bow is just silly). However, it's really hard to climb stairs like this, so outside it is.

Ladies and gentlemen, there is a baby penguin wandering the grounds, making your day more adorable by existing. He is mostly likely to be in the safer parts of the chaos outside (so no warzones or deserts or forests), but mostly he's just being a bit of a grumpy penguin pants and eating his weight in grass because that will make everything better. Kurt's pretty sure that his life literally can't get worse than this.


Apr. 1st, 2012 05:00 pm
learnedsomething: kyle looks angry (for a change) (angry)
[personal profile] learnedsomething
[Kyle is glaring at the camera. Despite wearing a tuxedo, he's still got his trusty green ushaka firmly on. Tendrils of dishevelled, bright red hair are poking out from underneath it.]

So I got woken up today by my bed disappearing. I rubbed my head - which incidentally revealed that my hat was missing - so I dashed over to the mirror. What the hell is with these clothes, which I damn well didn't put on myself? This place is fucked up and sick.

By the way, Mister Voyeuristic Building, sir? [Wait, what? That wasn't what he meant to say.] Don't you fucking dare take my hat again. If I want to sleep in it, wear it with suits and go swimming in it, it's none of your goddamn business!

[He realises he's straying from the point. The building probably won't listen to him, but maybe one of the people here can at least answer his question.]

I figured out where my bed pissed off to when the book I was reading turned into a butterfly. Can someone please tell me if I'm tripping on acid again or if this is this one of those fucked up event things I've been told about?


LAYOUT BASE @ [community profile] fruitstyle