charlastan: Money (That's What I Want) - Barrett Strong (But what it don't get I can't use)
Stanley Pines ([personal profile] charlastan) wrote in [community profile] entranceway2017-08-06 02:28 pm

TOP 5 TRENDING STANFEED ARTICLES BY CEO STAN PINES


[Stan Pines is a very busy and now very wealthy man, so really he should be at the point where he's given up doing the legwork for a business like this. But why would he ever give up the chance to mess with people? So he pitches in ten-minute no effort articles here and there:]





krmvgivv: (and less wise than you are now)

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[personal profile] krmvgivv 2017-08-07 03:21 am (UTC)(link)
Grunkle Stan, do you think maybe I could write my own headlines next article?

[Dipper is looking at his most recent article, which he's very proud of but is... absolutely not what the headline promises. Besides Bigfoot being a thing.]

This feels misleading.
krmvgivv: (heat mirages that waver and whisper)

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[personal profile] krmvgivv 2017-08-13 08:08 pm (UTC)(link)
I want to be a Newsie. That means doing the opposite of lying on the internet.

[Of course, his version of the truth involves Bigfoot, but that's okay cause Bigfoot is real.]
krmvgivv: (glower)

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[personal profile] krmvgivv 2017-08-19 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
[Dipper is pretty sure it was never funny.]

Yes, and then a zombie would eat me, and Mabel would be sad.

[He thinks Stan would be sad too, but sometimes it's hard to tell.]

But hey, you'd get a great article out of it.
krmvgivv: (in an eggshell)

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[personal profile] krmvgivv 2017-08-28 06:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Dancing Queen isn't awful! It's classic!

[STOP INSULTING HIS CATCHY TOP FORTY HITS DANG IT.]
krmvgivv: (i did my little white best)

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[personal profile] krmvgivv 2017-09-10 12:36 am (UTC)(link)
Abba's great. [Dipper crosses his arms, scowling.] You just don't appreciate good music.
deadshapes: (crimes)

blog comment

[personal profile] deadshapes 2017-08-08 02:57 am (UTC)(link)
nice rendition of a fiji mermaid tho, classic
deadshapes: (let's wreck shit)

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[personal profile] deadshapes 2017-08-14 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
it's awesome and is totally authentic especially considering the fiji mermaid was absolutely not authentic!!!!!! so good job!
deadshapes: (crimes)

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[personal profile] deadshapes 2017-08-15 11:47 pm (UTC)(link)
you can have it i'm sure as hell not gonna use it anywhere
deadshapes: (weird autumn)

[personal profile] deadshapes 2017-08-22 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
knock yourself out you delightful old fart!!
deadshapes: (crimes)

[personal profile] deadshapes 2017-08-28 02:12 am (UTC)(link)
you're like a bazillion years old i wouldn't put it past you
deadshapes: (crimes)

[personal profile] deadshapes 2017-09-07 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
oh damn i'm sorry i didn't mean to assume your age you gazillionaire you
deadshapes: (let's wreck shit)

[personal profile] deadshapes 2017-09-19 06:39 pm (UTC)(link)
pry it from my cold dead hands!!!!!!!
powerofmabel: (☆ but my hands are too light)

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[personal profile] powerofmabel 2017-08-09 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
[Mabel is carrying a tablet into Stan's "makeshift office, monitoring numbers she barely understands. She's so good at business.] The clicks keep coming, Grunkle Stan. Who would've thought a political convention would have so many bored bystanders?
powerofmabel: (☆ let our voices bring redemption)

[personal profile] powerofmabel 2017-08-15 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
Oooh. Scandals. [Mabel would normally be against hurting anyone's feelings, but these are politicians and she doesn't think in terms of actual scandals that would cause irreparable damage.] We should make up one. How about "Here's Fifteen Ways Lucifer Morningstar Isn't As Dreamy As He Appears."

We could doctor photographs to show him picking his nose in public.
powerofmabel: (☆ they say she went mad)

[personal profile] powerofmabel 2017-08-22 11:08 pm (UTC)(link)
[She giggles as he ruffles her hair.] I can't help it that I'm naturally gifted in ways that most people can only envy. Fortunately, I only use this power for good.

[Because this is... definitely good. It's not like anyone is genuinely being hurt! Just deeply embarrassed. And potentially horrified that people have the kind of time and energy to doctor that many photos.]
powerofmabel: (☆ i couldn't change your destiny)

[personal profile] powerofmabel 2017-08-30 04:37 am (UTC)(link)
Right. I don't believe this many people actually came out to listen to a bunch of people talk politics. They're here for the shenanigans! They want to laugh. They want to cry. They want to cry from laughing too hard.
Edited 2017-08-30 04:37 (UTC)
powerofmabel: (☆ she's the patron saint priestess)

[personal profile] powerofmabel 2017-09-08 06:15 pm (UTC)(link)
[She reaches out to dramatically touch Stan's arm.] We're basically underappreciated heroes. The world might not think they need us, but we'll just force them to look at us until they realize they do.
mydude: (Unusual but never uncool)

Private Video Message

[personal profile] mydude 2017-08-16 11:34 pm (UTC)(link)
Soooo you're having just as much trouble making politics interesting as I am, huh boss?
mydude: (All you need)

[personal profile] mydude 2017-08-27 03:20 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, they're not. I bet a good investigative journalist'd find all kindsa dicks. Dicks everywhere.

Too bad Stanfeed's fresh outta them. Darn. You wanna get drunk and boo during speeches instead?
mydude: (That's where I feel so beautiful)

[personal profile] mydude 2017-09-24 12:16 am (UTC)(link)
There's a couple beer tents in the food court. I bet I can pick your poison, old man. Meet me there?
mydude: (Lauren Katherine Lana too)

[personal profile] mydude 2017-09-25 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
[And when Stan arrives, Taako's already gotten Stan's beer. For himself, he got a fancy microbrew that'll probably end up being more expensive than its worth. For Stan, he got a Beer-brand beer in the most average possible glass bottle.]

Hey, 'sup. Anything list-worthy happen on the way over?

[Stan's pretty good at pulling lists of things to complain about out of literally nowhere, usually.]
mydude: (My road it ain't your road)

[personal profile] mydude 2017-09-25 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
Figured I'd avoid you going on a rant about millenials by giving you anything created in the past fifty years.

[Smirk.]

And honestly, I'm really regretting my own choice. I know people miss beef and all, but holy shit, hamburger-flavored beer was a terrible idea.

[He grimaces at his own bottle. Maybe Stan would've liked this more, since he probably remembers what hamburgers tasted like.]
mydude: (I'ma do my thing)

[personal profile] mydude 2017-09-25 03:33 am (UTC)(link)
[Aw, shit. That makes Taako the sucker, doesn't he? Fuck.]

You know, on second thought, it sort of has this aftertaste...

[DELICATE. SIP. OH GOD.]

Hmmm. You want to give it a try?
mydude: (If you're a boy or a girl)

[personal profile] mydude 2017-09-28 02:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[Taako passes the bottle, beaming with pure honesty.]

Nah, man, it's so good. Give it a shot.