eyething: (dot dot dot)
DAMON SALVATORE. ([personal profile] eyething) wrote in [community profile] entranceway2017-08-06 02:13 pm

Not Your Auntie's Blog - 3 articles posted during the RNC

(OOC: All these articles come out before the sudden appearance of needles everywhere. )

Bleach stains in your leather? Believe it or not, you didn't completely fuck it up.


A) Don't be a dumbass and get blood on your fancy leather things.

B) If you are a dumbass, bleach out the blood and then fix your damn leather!

Feeling stressed about the Election? Down some of these perfectly crafted jello shots and feel numb about your life.


They're full of jiggly alcohol. What's more to know and love about them?

RNC Drinking Game


Readers, I know how tough this convention can be. It's one of the few times we all get to come together in person. It's also one of those reminders about why we're all better served, remaining behind our screens as far away from each other as possible. I invite you all to carry a flask around with you and play a game with me to make the experience more tolerable for us all. Pour your favorite alcoholic beverage into the tin and play along.

Take a drink any time:

1) You have to take a blood test

2) A candidate says the word "America" or "liberty" or "freedom"

3) Georgia Mason says/writes the word "truth".

4) A Stanfeed article comes out featuring blatant lies as clickbaits.

5) Someone rambles/explains their latest conspiracy theory (take an extra drink if it comes from Cisco)

6) Someone picks a fight (an extra drink if it's Rocket)

7) Someone talks about how "hot" (or "attractive") Lucifer Morningstar is. Bleh.

8) Someone explains how "genuine" (or "wholesome" or "just like us") Nora is.

9) Someone gets quarantined.

10) Shaun Mason or another Irwin does a crazy, reckless stunt for the cameras

11) You see someone else having a drink.

Don't blame me for your alcohol poisoning, folks.
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] hold these bullets for me)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-07 05:56 pm (UTC)(link)
See. Now I'm gonna pick fights with everyone in the name of getting everyone in this joint wasted.
Edited 2017-08-07 17:56 (UTC)
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] never any gamma radiation)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-12 04:46 pm (UTC)(link)
It's the best of both worlds. Pointless fighting and booze. Anything to un-dull this joint.
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] we call them mp48s)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-16 03:31 am (UTC)(link)
If the blood tests and totally not fun guys with big guns didn't suck all the fun out of it, it'd make me wanna swan dive into a horde. My viewership's up like ten points from me comin' here, but at what cost, Damon?
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] the sky is very hard)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-18 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
Don't fear the zombies- fear the people still living, amirite?
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] a tasty lead sandwich)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-19 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
But man saying as much makes me feel like an edgy teenager.
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] hold these bullets for me)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-21 03:56 pm (UTC)(link)
A guy works out of his garage and this is what he gets.

If I were an edgy teenager in an adult's body, it'd be my parents' garage.


[But he's a sad orphan, so like... that's not happening.]
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] hold these bullets for me)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-25 03:00 am (UTC)(link)
Oh so that's why you run an Auntie blog. I thought you were just really ironic.
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] never any gamma radiation)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-27 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
I feel like you've opened my eyes here, Damon. I thought you were hipster garbage. Now I know you're probably into cardigans and going to bed before seven.
Edited 2017-08-27 02:28 (UTC)
beatupgrass: (✘ [H] head directly for the smoke.)

[personal profile] beatupgrass 2017-08-30 04:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Well fashionable is a matter of opinion, dude. I'm sure some old guys think Hawaiian shirts every day is fashionable.

[But I mean if you're Sam Axe, then yes it is fashionable.]
Edited 2017-08-30 16:53 (UTC)
theothermrgray: (wait)

One sudden appearance of needles everywhere later...

[personal profile] theothermrgray 2017-08-08 04:25 pm (UTC)(link)
For the safety of everyone's livers, I highly recommend that you skip 1 and 9 until the threat is taken care of.

Or don't. I have no right to tell people to stay sober.
theothermrgray: (mild interest)

[personal profile] theothermrgray 2017-08-12 12:38 am (UTC)(link)
Good idea.

Do you know of any homemade specialty drinks you can prepare in your hotel room? I don't think my fridge is powerful enough to cool the jello shots properly.
interpersonal: (greet.)

action | you really should've seen this coming

[personal profile] interpersonal 2017-08-09 01:10 am (UTC)(link)
( elena barely glanced at damon's newest article before rolling her eyes and closing the tab. she doesn't have a lot of free time this weekend, and she isn't going to waste it by reading something as trivial as a drinking game. and she is not interested in whatever damon salvatore is up to. besides, she is currently stepping into the first restaurant that she sees -- she skipped lunch and now that it's dinnertime elena's stomach is making her pay for her negligence. so, so hungry. )
interpersonal: (irreverence.)

[personal profile] interpersonal 2017-08-14 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
( elena's eyes narrow at the sight of that smile. )

I'm fine, actually. I'm waiting for someone. ( waiting for someone to finish eating so she can take their spot, that is. unfortunately, no one seems to be in any rush now that the hectic part of the day is over. elena's arms fold across her chest as she glances around the restaurant la la la la. )
interpersonal: (reluctant.)

[personal profile] interpersonal 2017-08-22 11:25 pm (UTC)(link)
( elena presses her lips together to fight off an amused smirk.

she can tell when someone isn't buying what she's selling, and it's not like anyone looks ready to leave their table anytime soon. today was a long day, and people are ready to partake in the happy hour. her gaze eventually lands back on damon. )


If I sit with you, will you promise to be on good behavior?
interpersonal: (knees.)

[personal profile] interpersonal 2017-08-27 01:43 am (UTC)(link)
( her eyes land on that solemn hand, narrowing slightly as if suspicious. but eventually, elena relents. she is so hungry that her stomach is starting to make embarrassing noises, not that she cares whether or not damon can hear them.

a little.

she slides into the seat across from him and picks up a menu. )


And you? Taking a break in between writing scintillating articles?
interpersonal: (coffee.)

[personal profile] interpersonal 2017-09-05 06:36 pm (UTC)(link)
( her lips twitch again. )

I scrolled past.

( there's a difference, damon. but she's lowkey grateful he flags down the water so quick. he takes elena's order, and then she looks back at damon. damon with his chinhands-ing and his eyebrows. ) What?
interpersonal: (aback.)

[personal profile] interpersonal 2017-09-17 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
( WELL THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE WAS EXPECTING.

elena sputters the water she'd just been sipping.

her eyes slightly round, she straightens to get a good look at him, because he can't possibly... it's a joke, right? )


And the way you show people you like them is by being increasingly difficult in their general direction?
interpersonal: (dumbstruck.)

[personal profile] interpersonal 2017-09-21 07:05 pm (UTC)(link)
I have but we're not kids.

( as soon as she says it, elena realizes where she went wrong: you don't have to be a kid to act like a kid. damon.

she holds her breath as he leans forward all the more, her eyes searching his face. she's trying to determine if he really means it, if he's pulling her leg, if he's just exorbitantly drunk, or if it's some small measure of all three combined. )
You're serious.