entranceway | [video] Astral Pumpkin

Okay okay okay okay. So I know there's an event coming up and we're all freaking out about it, and it's probably gonna be horrible like usual, but I gotta say this before we get too deep into October. So, you know how Halloween is the best holiday, and October is the best month, and autumn is the best season, and all that? And you know how the best thing about all of those is...

[Dramatic pause.]

Pumpkins, obviously. I was thinking, we definitely need to have a pumpkin chunking competition.

[She grins like a wild person.]

So for the uninitiated, pumpkin chunking is when you build something that can launch things--like a catapult, or a trebuchet, or a giant slingshot, or a cannon, and so on--and then you compete to see how far the thing you built can launch a pumpkin. It's literally the best thing, after Halloween and autumn leaves. Since I figure most people don't really know how to build stuff like that, people could team up. You could have team names and give your pumpkin chunker a name like they do with monster trunks. I mean trucks. The only rules is you can't use anything gas powered--it has to all be mechanical. And you also can't, like, murder people with pumpkins.

And knowing Wonderland, there's probably gonna be some crazy ass shit happening for Halloween, but I figure we can pick a day near then and that's when we have the competition. We can roll out our stuff to the checkerboard hills and launch from there, that way we got wide open space and people won't get hit by flying pumpkins.

[She gives the camera a really eager look.]

Whaddaya guys think?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh! [ Emily can't hide the surprise in her voice. ] That's... cool.

[ And then she realizes how ridiculous this all is and gives a light laugh. ]

Of course, I work for a guy named Vandiveer. Like, that's his real name.

But yeah. Back on point. Punkin' chunkin. Awesome idea. And we're gonna make it even more awesome. Like, stuff of legend awesome. I'm really glad you thought of it!

Haha, Vandiveer? Oh my God, is he a villain? That's totally a villain name. That's like, oh shit, Vandiveer's back and he's gonna blow up the planet this time! Call the, uhhhh, the Justice...Group, I dunno.

Hell yeah, I'm glad so many people are into it. I wasn't sure, I mean, it's kinda like...a really, really silly American thing and there are like, a lot of people here I didn't think would be into that.

[Mostly any aliens and Europeans around.]

I know, right? [ Emily laughs, and laughs a little harder at the villain comment. ] No, he's not smart enough to be a villain. He tried to be Batman's sidekick once by dressing up as Robin and wore the whole rubber outfit under his suit all day.

Oh my gosh! Do you know the Justice League, too? Aren't they great?

And no. There's no way that people couldn't love pumpkin chunkin! None! I mean, it mixes destruction with harmless fun! What's not to love?

Who's Batman?

[They have comic books and such in her world, but all the names are different.]

No, sorry. I was just making up words. Is that a real thing?

I dunno, maybe people who like, hate fun.

[video] Astral Pumpkin

voice;

voice;

voice;

voice;