entranceway | [video] grandpa got run over by a reindeer, morty

[Rick is here, and he's looking annoyed, which is pretty normal for him. What probably isn't normal is the reindeer antlers sprouting from his head. Also the several-dozen empty glass cases behind him in his lab.]

So I was running some tests on those m-mind control cookies annnnnd...

Long story short, there's about forty rats running around the mansion. They're harmless. Th-They're basically just gonna sing carols at you. At least two of them are singing that Adam Sandler Hanukkah song, and I have n-no idea where they got that one, everyone fucking hates Adam Sandler. Couldn't even fucking pick The Maccabeats or something.

Hey Pixar, sh-shoot me an email if you want the rights to the Jingle Rats. Or Dreamworks. Fuck, I'll even sell it to those pieces of shit at Illumination. Minions movie cashout, here I fucking come.

[He takes a drink from a huge glass of eggnog, which is probably mostly rum.]

Anyway, don't eat the cookies unless you want some whimsical, mindfucky bullshit to happen to you.

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How long have you had the antlers?

[Just to see how long perhaps all those cookie effects last.]

[Oh, Kokichi found them alright.]

[He's gathered a chorus of at least 4 or 5 "Jingle Rats" and is now leading them in song:]

When you wish upon a star~
Makes no difference who you are~
Anything your heart desires will come to yoooouuu~

[Note that the song is a freaking Disney song, and the lead singer is currently around the rat's height. Cookies, man.]

About an hour.

[Rick twitches and whirls around to find the source of the singing. That doesn't sound quite like a rat.]

[Holy fuck there's a tiny human singing along with the rats. Why is this his life.]

Fuck, shut up!

[Perhaps not long enough to see, but an hour is still longer than what he'd like, probably.]

Could be worse?

[He smirks at the camera.]

What's that? You want more? Okay!

[And now they're singing Jingle Bells.]

But you tried some of the cookies yourself, right?

[Antlers and all.]

[He just gives a drawn-out, overwrought groan.]

[He lobs a glass beaker at the troupe. It shatters against the wall behind them.]

Fuck off before I stomp on all of you!

I thought it was just more of this bullshit mansion. I've already analyzed the mansion itself, and apart from being absurdly structurally unsound, there d-doesn't seem to be any mind-fucking shit in it. The cookies in baskets on the other hand...

[Self-explanatory.]

Eat another cookie and hope for the best?

[All the rats scatter!]

Gah! Hey, that's not very nice! Don't you like music?

[He wants to talk about the antlers. Really he does, but-]

I really wanna be pissed you fed a bunch of rats Wonderland cookies for science, but... That's actually kinda hilarious.

[THESE ARE MIXED EMOTIONS.]

So I can start singing carols and spreading holiday cheer? [He says it like he just said the name of an STI.] I don't mcfucking think so.

No, I hate everything!

[Another beaker gets thrown.]

And you're not a rat, y-you're just some fucking piece of shit elf!

What was I gonna do, e-eat it myself after this fucking mess? [He points at the antlers.] Male reindeer don't even keep their antlers in winter, the whole thing is a goddamn sham!

Shit, just realized I released a bunch of rats into a house made of sugar. Fuuuuck. I'll have to collect them.

Yeah, that makes sense.

How many different effects have you found? Just the singing? ...And the antlers?

Yeah, heaven forbid.

[And he thought to ask:]

... Who's Adam Sandler?

H-Hey!

[Dodging the beakers here.]

I'll have you know, I'm actually a powerful fairy! And if you stop throwing beakers at me, I'll grant you a wish! Outside of escaping the mansion. I promise!

[ ok but ]

I get the rats, I honestly do.

[ and yet, ]

--- why are you a reindeer?

...You let forty rats loose?

[On the upside, she isn't squeamish about rats but...why?]

They're gonna overeat and die, and this whole place is gonna smell like dead rats for a month.

[He's just saying. That is morbid and horrible, BUT ALSO KIND OF HILARIOUS.]

Singing and animals so far. I've observed incidents of increased "holiday cheer" but haven't been able to test it yet.

Knowing the people around here, they'll probably just adopt them.

Cookies.

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[video] grandpa got run over by a reindeer, morty

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