entranceway | three: video » text attachment.

[ a little while ago dean brutally murdered one demon king of hell, crowley, and hurt john blake in the process. before that, he murdered both his best friend and brother, and attacked a whole bunch of people once near and dear to him. today, thankfully, finds him doing something entirely different as dean addresses the network with a lazy smile on his face.

he’s looking way too pleased with himself, beer in hand and leaning against a familiar looking car... ]

This place is kinda morbid, right? Murders and fights and scheming going on left and right— leaves your head spinning even on a good day. So I figure I should try to shake things up a little, and offer something… uh, nicer to the public.

The female public, anyway. Here I’ve attached a collection of potential good times, so if you see your name and wanna have fun — which means get laid, for the less savvy people — then lem’me know. No strings attached, no flowers and chocolates bullshit. I’m easy like that.

[ he is a gift from god. and he promises no one will get murdered. unless they try something stupid. ]

do list: Cami - put that mouth to better use than talking Jo - everyone knows she still wants it Elphie - someone needs to check if shes green all over Evie - time for second or third or whatever base Pepper - gotta be a reason for the name Darcy - wants the lightsaber Emma - can’t remember shit she’s said but is super hot Bela - hot face, bad attitude whats not to dig Not-Jess - set her on fire for a night Charlie - no time to convert Lilith - make her be useful for once Meg - desperate times plan b Snow - needs a little melting Cordelia - whips and chains Natasha - wear the costume thanks Lydia - too young Lily - stranger danger but does the carpet match the drapes That one blonde from the new years party with the accent Maxine - lets mix chemicals pity fucks: cas - yeah right

[ he never did say he hadn’t put down a few notes along with the names. ]

Now if you’re worried ‘cause your pretty little name ain’t on the list, fret not. If you’re easy enough on the eyes and old enough to know what fun is, get in contact.

[ s m i l e! and dean cuts the feed. ]

( ooc: note that some threads in this post might include heavy violence and/or dub-con/non-con type elements! read at your own risk. )

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Did you try to get down with them as well? You seem like the type who would-- which I like about you.

[ it's refreshing, thanks. ]

You don't know anything about me and I'm pretty sure most of the other girls on that list are in the same boat.

[ Hey, she knows she's a catch--or...well, she's cute, but there are some issues. The point is that she can't blame him for thinking she's cute, but oh she can blame him for being a jackass about it. ]

Do you know what this whole broadcast screams? "Over-compensation, much?"

I don't really care what it screams-- you all are flockin' to it either way. [ and a couple are even considering it. so consider that a victory. ]

And what's so bad about any of this, anyway? All I'm askin' for is a little fun without the usual song and dance that takes forever. I like to think of this as... efficient.

Uh, yeah? If someone thinks they can write me off as a conquest then I'm gonna have a few bones to pick. Don't take it as a compliment, Casanova. Emphasis on the no part.

[ As in "no thank you jerkbutt". ]

Does efficient mean desperate now and I never got the memo?

I don't have to write you off, darlin', we could make this a thing. [ smiiiile. he'd had a thing back home with the cutest blonde bartender-- and it had worked. no strings attached kinda thing, too, which had been swell. no one had gotten hurt, either.

but... ]

I don't think you get to talk about desperate with the way you were chattin' me up in the bar.

Chatting you up? Are you forgetting the whole "trying to take down one of the baddest vampires in history" thing? Because I think you are.

Not gonna lie, that was one of the weirder pickup routines I've, uh, heard but hey, made you memorable. Cute face helped, too.

Hey, adorable doesn't mean available to just anyone, buddy. And if you think that was me trying to chat you up, I'd hate to see what you think the barista's at coffee shops are saying.

[ are you saying all those cute girls weren't trying to get with him??? oh... ]

What does you chattin' someone up look like, then? You climbin' into their lap?

[ Reality is cruel, Dean. ]

You're obviously used to paying strippers for their attention, I'm starting to wonder if you even know what it's like to have a girl honestly flirt with you.

I don't really care if there's any honesty involved...

[ perks of being a demon. ]

Um, ew? Talk about skeevy. With an attitude like that, it wouldn't matter what you looked like.

Skeevy, easy-- I consider it a no strings attached kinda deal. Sometimes you gotta just make things simpler. Humans make everything so damn personal. No wonder nothing ever gets done.

You wanna know what else isn't getting done? [ She leans in to the feed. ] It's you.

You keep runnin' that pretty mouth of yours. It'll get you in trouble, y'know. And no one will be around to save you-- I mean, that's what you're betting on here, right? That if I tried something, Angel would come flyin' to your rescue.

Uh, excuse you? Do I look like the kind of girl who needs rescuing?

[ Don't answer that. ]

I haven't always had Angel around, you know. Even if I wanted to? I wouldn't just wait around for him to play hero.

[ She can take care of herself, ok. ]

If anything, you'd be the one who needs backup, but I'm not giving you the satisfaction of letting me destroy you. I'm pretty sure you'd just get off on it like the big creepoid you've become.

[ yes, yes you do. and she talks like one too. but dean settles on looking smug instead of letting her know as much this time. it's fun watching her, too, go on and on about how she doesn't need anyone-- not him, not angel... it's cute. ]

So if you won't destroy me, should I destroy you?

[ that's what this is coming down to, after all, so let's go. after that he can sprinkle her all over angel's room. ]

[ Destroy as in literally? Is that better or worse than his crappy come-ons...? ]

You really wanna try that with me, pal?

[ She guesses it doesn't matter, the results the same with this guy, obviously. ]

I've been dealing with demons and loser guys way before I ended up here. You won't get close.

[ And by that she means what the hell kind of demon is he--what did that guy Crowley say...--and if she sounds confident enough, he might find less fighty prey. For now. ]

[ so many angry women saying the same thing-- all challenging him without knowing what they're really up against. or maybe he's the one underestimating them? could be fun to find out. ]

You sure about that?

[ 'cause he'll come find you. ]

[ She's sooooo not sure about that. Nope. But... ]

I'm Cordelia Chase. I know.

Maybe I'll just have to prove miss Cordelia Chase wrong then. Good thing I really dig a challenge.

[ y'hear that? it's a threat. ]

So you're a fan of failure? Then knock yourself out, buddy. One more flop to add to your resume.

[ Loud and clear, creepoid. She's totally anti-demoning her room. ]

If thinking that gets you through the night, sure. See you soon, Cordy. [ dean cuts the feed with that. lucky for her, he'll get distracted with both charlie and lilith, then eventually evelyn to ever make it to her door. ah well, maybe next time. ]

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