⎊ [Video] An' the Gobbel-uns 'll git ya ef you don't watch out!

[narcissistictendencies]

[The video opens at an odd angle high in the room workshop of one Tony Stark. It's cocked at an angle and seems to be moving quickly as Tony lunges for the phone. His fingers fall short as it's jerked out of his reach.]

Give--! [Suddenly the video feed is shaken violently, showing everywhere from his ceiling to the floor in jerky motions as whatever has it scrambles and dances out of reach.] --that back! How did you even get in here?! That's--!

[The video cut out with a small explosion.

When the video is active again, Tony is back in possession of his phone and he looks like he might have just shimmied down a chimney, covered in black smears. The room around him doesn't look much better and in the background the floor can be seen littered with damaged and destroyed tech.]

Anyone have a suggestion on keeping these little menaces-- [He pans the camera around to two goblins who have managed to get themselves glued to Tony's chair, likely with Tony's help, of course] --out of my room? Somehow they managed to bypass my security system. My security system! I don't know what these clumsy little monsters are, but they're destroying everything! Yes, this is an SOS from the one-and-only Tony Stark. I admit it. I actually might need someone else's help. There, I said it.

Comments

[ivehadbetter]

Have you tried stabbing them?

[narcissistictendencies]

I was looking for something a little less 'serial killer'. The Humane Society frowns on stabbing of local wild life without probable cause.

[Oh so dryly.]

[ivehadbetter]

[Ha. Don't talk to her about serial killers, she's had her fair share with just the one thanks.] Does this 'humane society' typically protect demons? [ Here he gets a raised eyebrow.]. In my experience it's better to stab first and worry about the consequences later, that's what the demons would do. Or really they just stab first I don't think they concern themselves with consequences.

video;

[krmvgivv]

Seriously? You're having trouble with those guys? [Dipper looks amused.] They're so dumb you can trick them into anything.

[failedparenting]

Shooting it a couple times seems to work for me.

[video]

[wriggedywrecked]

[Explosions and flying chemicals in the background.] YOU CAN HAVE MINE.

[text]

[rosswood]

holy shit dude
are those literal goblins
i'd slow clap
but i'm too busy laughing this is beautiful
best christmas present ever

idk arent you supposed to spill salt or something and they have to count it

audio;

[araneidal]

You could ask them nicely.

[narcissistictendencies]

Animals. [He clarifies.] and right now, as ugly as they are, I don't think they qualify as 'demons' just yet. Pains in my ass, more like. Stabbing just feels severe. The only thing they've hurt are my projects.

[Why is he defending these little monsters?]

Wait. You have demons where you're from?

Re: video;

[narcissistictendencies]

They had half my room up in smoke before I woke up! [Yes, he may have passed out at his work desk.] How do you think they got themselves glued to my chair? Told them it was my most valuable piece of equipment and they'd better not touch it. Now I kinda wish I'd glued them to Cap's door. Spinning them in circles is only fun for so long.

So, you had the pleasure of the company of these degenerates too? Where the hell did they even come from?

[Tony, don't curse in front of kids teenagers!]

[narcissistictendencies]

I've always had a tendency to operate under the effect of not killing something that isn't trying to kill me. If I killed every annoyance I came across, I'd be no better than the bad guys. ...I'd also live in a very empty world all by myself.

[failedparenting]

Look man, all I'm saying is it's a lot less effort and no one's gonna mourn them.

[Dealing with the bodies is a bitch, though.]

Re: [video]

[narcissistictendencies]

[Hesitant because... wow. That's quite a scene there.]

I'll... pass. Thanks.

[Goooooing to hang up then that tiny voice that tells him to do the right thing shrieks in his ear to help. So, with a heavy sigh,] Have you tried reverse psychology? Industrial strength adhesive also works wonders.

Re: [text]

[narcissistictendencies]

They might be? This is the first real one I've ever seen.

Yeah. Ha-ha. Laugh it up. Maybe I'll send them your way.

I'm not up on my fae lore. Could be? But tricking them into glueing themselves to my chair worked just as well.

Re: audio;

[narcissistictendencies]

Ask the little monsters wrecking my tech quicker than Hammer's instant tan to quit wrecking my tech? Or asking nicely for help? 'cause I'm pretty sure that was as nicely as I am physically capable of asking.

[ivehadbetter]

Never trust a demon. They manipulate and trick you into thinking they are harmless and they are there to help, but really they just want to possess you. You're a puppet to them. [ She's dealt with too many demons and abominations in the time she's spent with Hawke.]

We do. They are in the fade, you probably have them too you just don't know it.

[Video]

[mindbend]

Maybe you need to fool them into finding something else more interesting than disrupting your work.

[Although given his level of frustration and the entertainment value that must have for the goblins in question, that might be easier said than done.]

I might be able to convince them to turn their attention elsewhere, if you really need help.

[rosswood]

you could but i don't have anything for them to mess with
new arrival etc etc

wow are they actually that stupid

[narcissistictendencies]

Well, welcome to Wonderland. Where all your dreams are twisted into even freakier versions straight out of some weirdo's imagination. Enjoy your stay. Or don't. It doesn't seem to be a requirement.

Yes. They are. I'm not even going to sugarcoat that one. I get more intelligent reactions out of my tie.

[rosswood]

ok well looks like you don't need any help
i wasn't gonna offer or anything
what are you even doing
who has a security system are you like secret service

video;

[krmvgivv]

Wonderland likes giving us gifts in December. This is nothing next to last year.

[.....Dipper wasn't even here this time last year. But he reads a lot.]

[video]

[wriggedywrecked]

Good becauseFUCCKKK-- [Small explosion, the camera splatters with something gooey and blue.]

Because SHOOTING THEM and blowing them up doesn't w-work!

Re: [video]

[narcissistictendencies]

[Squints at the blue goo.]
Is... that safe?

And wow, you tried blowing them up? Gutsy. I thought I was bad off.

[He gives the chair a spin with his foot, watching the goblins flail as they go round and round.] You need some help there?

[beforeblue]

I dunno. Leave out a saucer of booze and hope they get too drunk to do much?

audio;

[araneidal]

[ Why not both? ]

Yes.

[ She does like watching him squirm. ]