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were the closets playing pranks on anyone else yesterday?

[ faith's morning had started with a rather ... rural wake up call. she'd really hoped the little bastard would just disappear overnight. instead, he woke her up at the crack of dawn to a room full of feathers and pecked drywall.

eventually she'll have to just ... accept her new fowl-ler. into the diner for breakfast, where he's actually quite patient (and fond of toast). on to the gym for her morning workout, where apparently he needs a nap after all that strenuous crowing.

his cocky attitude returns in the library, where faith had planned hanging out for about an hour, learning about the supernatural elements of other worlds. she would've been better served looking up ways to keep him quiet, once it's clear he's going to continue hollering. amid glares and shushing, she scoops him up and tries apologizing over the noise before giving one particular patron the bird.

she practically books it out, rooster tucked under her arm. and as she makes her way, she doesn't notice the mess he leaves behind along the hallways. a trail of feathers and excrement leading to angel investigations, where the closet still refuses to cooperate and give her a cage. at least the cock is having fun with the pile of bic ballpoints beside her. ]

do leashes work on chickens?

[ by the end of the night, she's given up. the stupid thing even follows her to the bar where at least the corn nuts seem to satisfy him. she can nap at one of the tables, right...? ]

( ooc | feel free to catch her anywhere / make up somewhere else to find faith wrangling a mother clucking rooster as she goes about her day :3 )

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[radiopalkiller]

[ The Christmas piskie visitors turned out to come from a few species further to the left, after all, and Philip's got some additional notes to compile. Volumes on Jewish folklore litter his usual library workplace, and at their centre a large binder sits covered in handwritten notes, and empty pieces of paper yet to be filled.

He looks up at the fluttering sound, expecting to meet Nageki again. Instead the sight proves him wrong, and the ear-shattering holler even more so. A young woman follows the fowl suit, and Philip arches an eyebrow at her, lips forming a thin, judgmental line. ]

...Christ, please tell me that's just future lunch, and you're not from one of those worlds where people carry around their souls around as pets.

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[actualwizard]

...you have a chicken? Or is this a question that popped into your head from boredom.

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[ oh good because faith was just thinking wow i wonder what it'd be like to hear somebody but not with your ears and also while they possibly want to punch you in the face really hard. ]

Huh?

[ eloquent as ever, she whirls in search of the source of the not-quite voice. incidentally, she winds up facing exactly not the direction philip is from her (because it couldn't have been the guy who's lips aren't moving. she still tries some semblance of a non-apology though, voice raising amidst the confusion: ]

He's a mistake, won't leave me alone.

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i got a chicken. he's a jackass.

actionnnn @ bar

[rosswood]

[Right, so. Wonderland pretty much radiates weirdness on a day-to-day basis, and Alex likes to think that he's got a pretty good grasp of said weirdness. Like, he can walk into a room, and see some lady sleeping at a table with a chicken pecking at her hair, and shit like that is totally normal.

Totally.

Normal.

So he wouldn't have a problem with the chick passed out at the table if there wasn't a literal rooster raising a right ruckus, which has him so annoyed he's begun to mentally alliterate.

He doesn't have the patience for this shit, so he cuts right to the chase and thumps his foot against the leg of the table with a loud bang.]

Hey. Lady. This your poultry?

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[ beneath hair, feathers, and a distinct lack of care, faith groans. ]

Yup.

[ she rolls her head to the side, squinting up at kicking-guy with a scowl. ]

Don't make eye contact with it.

[rosswood]

[That is a suspiciously specific order. Alex narrows his eyes, arms crossed over his chest.]

Why? Is it a brainwashing chicken or something?

[Because that would be just his damn luck.]

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[ she sits up the rest of the way, rubbing at her eyes as if somehow that might make the little bastard disappear. when she stops, and the rooster's still there, faith looks up at alex. ]

No, he's just an asshole.

[rosswood]

[Okay. Good. False alarm. The tension rolls out of Alex's shoulders as he regards the chicken warily. It seems pretty unobjectionable as far as chickens go, except for the part where it's inside, in a bar, instead of somewhere that's very far from here.

Animals inside. That's gotta be a first. At least for him. Maybe this normal here?]

So like, did you wish for this? Did you maybe anger a - witch or something?

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[ her eyebrow quirks, but faith lets the reaction slide. really, she's got enough to worry about and much less alcohol to help her along than she'd like. hadn't there been a bottle here somewhere... ]

Got him from the closet last night. I asked for something else but I still haven't really got the hang of it. Figured maybe he'd just ... go away. I dunno.

[ seriously where did she put that bottle. ugh. ]

[rosswood]

The hell did you even ask for? Breakfast in bed?

[He's having a little trouble putting together why someone would want a chicken. At least they can be in agreement over one thing: here's to hoping that the chicken is in no way permanent, because Alex has been around this thing for about thirty seconds and its clucking is already starting to get on his delicate nerves.

He's not feeling acquainted enough to take a seat at chicken-lady's table even if he definitely came here to get something to drink. Wonderland is really taking a toll on his ability to relax, assuming he had one to begin with.

He retrieves a bottle of something - fuck it, he's not picky - and flicks the cap off with his thumb.]

I mean, I guess if all else fails you get a free meal out of it.

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What, like slaughter the thing?

[ she may have been a murderer at one time in her life but damn. that's cold. also she will try to use that reaction to not answer the question because that would severely undermine her position on chicken-killing.

hah! it was behind her the whole time. thank god. just one more thing to fix: ]

Sit down, you're making me dizzy.

[rosswood]

[Well, fine if she wants to have it her way. He drops into the seat across from her, making an exaggerated point of brushing a couple stray downy feathers from the tabletop in the process.

What is this, some kind of wheat beer mixture? He squints at it. He doesn't recognize the label. Something Wonderland-exclusive, no doubt.

Fuck it. He likes it. It's good. He glances back at the bird.]

Well it's gonna die one way or the other at some point. Chickens don't live very long. [Pause.] ...Right?

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[ cue a loose shrug. ]

No clue. I grew up in Boston. I didn't even know they actually crow before the sun comes up.

[ that had been just so fun. ]

[rosswood]

[Alex doesn't quite manage to stifle a snort. Sorry, the mental image is just kind of priceless. He's probably supposed to know a lot more about animals than he actually does, but he doesn't know jack shit to help.]

Jesus. So what did you ask for?

['Cause he sure noticed how that question mysteriously got away from her.]

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[ well shit. she can't help but smirk a little. ]

You know anything about Chinese weaponry?

[rosswood]

Uhhh. [Nothing beyond standard martial arts b-movie shit. But there's no way Alex is going to admit that from the get-go. He tries to cobble together some sense of authority on the subject.]

Like, ninja stars and nun-chucks and stuff?

[With an accompanying stereotypical karate-chop hand gesture to boot.

Classy guy, Alex Kralie.]

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Yeah...

[ ouch. yeah, faith doesn't hide the eye roll -- but the smirk is still in place at least. ]

There's these blades I wanted to practice on. Called chicken claws, or chicken sickles.

[ and the rest is history apparently. ]

[rosswood]

Ohhhhh. [The rest of the noise of realization dies in the back of his throat as he looks at the chicken. Well, she certainly got her claws. In a manner of speaking.

Hang on a minute. Why would someone want -

Alex looks back at her quizzically.]

So you're some kinda martial artist?

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[ again, a loose shrug. ]

Not exactly. Never used ninja stars or nunchucks.

[ faith chews at her lip, just for a moment. she decides that sure. let's do this. ]

Vampires are a thing in my world.

[rosswood]

Ah. [He says it lightly like, sure, no big deal, right?

But then again, he's dealt with weirder things. Weirder things, complicated things, things he can't explain and doesn't ever plan to.

So, vampires. All right. That's not so bad. It's within the realm of Wonderland's wacky, wacky possibility.]

Sooo - self-defense kind of a necessity there. Gotcha.

[Then a horrible thought occurs to him, and he frowns, looking up sharply.] There aren't any around here, are there?

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[ were she responsible and had she not had a really crappy day faith might take pity on this guy. this guy who seems a little jumpy and easily riles.

if only. ]

Oh, yeah. What, no one told you to keep a stake on you while you're here?

[rosswood]

Nnnno. [Jumpy and easily riled, check. Paranoid, check. Justifiably so given his last few encounters with the weird and paranormal, double check.

Drinking is now the furthest thing from Alex's mind as he stiffens.] Should they have?

[Goddamnit, and just his luck. He knows absolutely nothing about vampires. He forges onward.]

What kills them?

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[ yeah this is just what she needs after today. ]

Wood stake to the heart, fire, decapitation. [ faith ticks each off on her left hand. ] But holy water burns like a bitch, and so do crosses. Oh-- [ she shakes her head. ] But that's just my world. Other vamps from other worlds have different rules.

[rosswood]

Fuck. [Alex fists fingers into his hair, nails digging into his scalp. Given everything else he's seen, it hasn't occurred to him not to believe her, particularly since she's being so goddamn frank about it.

He'd ask if this is normal where she comes from, but it plainly is. And it's not - it's not the worst case scenario, but Alex is in no hurry to be some bloodsucker's free meal ticket.]

The fuck am I supposed to get holy water? You know any reverends, or should I be going down to the river to pray and all that jazz?