entranceway | [Video]

[The video opens with a pitched cackle. The man on screen wipes a tear away from his eye and shakes his head, sighing contentedly as he comes down from the fit.]

Ohhhhh-okay, okay. Okay. People of--is this, is this really what we're going with right now? Wonderland? What pretentious dickwad came up with that one? [There's another short bark of laughter then he clears his throat.] Wh-oookay. Ahhh, this is just--just beautiful! God, and here I thought things just couldn't get better.

[There's a pause in which he composes himself, runs a hand back through his hair, and fixes the video with a slightly less hysterical visage.]

So, right, I did the reading and the whole shtick. Oh no, where am I, I'm so confused and lost. Wah, wah, I don't like change. What am I gonna do with myself? Here, let me confide in the local ECHOnet, seeking solace from my equals. Yeah, that crap just ain't me, kiddos. So uh, I'm Jack. If any of you assholes knows me, pipe up, because I'm gonna need a basic rundown of the whole dealio as far as who's here. And I swear on my mother's grave--the devil condemn her soul in eternal torment--if I see or hear one CL4P-TP unit, I will set it on fire. I'm not even kidding right now. You have been warned. I don't need that crap here, too.

So yeah. Really, just uh, sayin' hi. Oh, and in case you didn't really catch it, I was making fun of the ostentatious name of the place. Yep. That about wraps up this video. Later, losers.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I'm thinking I'm not very torn up that I missed it. Yeah, definitely not.

Got 'er in one. Pandora, has one geostationary moon called Elpis, with an artificial satellite hovering just between the two, named Helios. There's where I am--where I was. The entire moon's on the verge of being destroyed by some nutcase Colonel, using my las--using Helios' laser which will result in the obliteration of part of the friggen planet too. See where the protecting comes in?

oh, don't worry. considering how often zombies seem to be a thing around here, i'm sure we'll get some more in a few months or so.

[Oh man space stuff. He has to hold back from geeking out.]

so not just an artificial satellite for communications or something, but an actual space station? neat.

yeah, i can see how that would be an issue. well, hopefully someone knows how to turn off giant lasers.

[Yeah he heard that "my" right there.]

You know, I-I'm really okay with not. Like, ever. Flesh-eaters just aren't my jive.

[Pfh, hold back? What's that?]

Y-E-P. Helios: an actual space station. Mostly populated with scientists, code monkeys, and dysfunctional robots. We're mostly a research and development division.

See, turning it off isn't that easy. It's not something you can just power down, and even if it were, aforementioned psychopathic Colonel invaded Helios, killed a lot of defenceless people, and set up military guard in our way to even try shutting it down. If I can get back in to the core, I can shut that crazy bitch out and prevent the destruction of the moon and subsequently, the planet. Can't do that while I'm here, obviously, but if I understand the manual, so long as I'm here, nothing changes back home.

>[Shhhh, you heard nothing, you silly marshmallow.]

yeah, me neither, honestly.

oh, man. that's really cool. where i'm from, uh, well. space travel and such. it's kinda just a dream.

well, hey. you seem like the kind of guy who accomplishes the stuff you set your mind to, so.

You'll get there, buttercup. Eventually. Probably... Everything starts out as a dream. Someone just has to take the steps to make it a reality. [He's totally making that into a motivational poster.]

Well whaddaya know? You'd be right. Besides, I'm a hero, baby! The hero always wins over genocidal crazycakes bad guys, right?

unfortunately it's not that simple.

heh, do they? well. i suppose that optimism and confidence goes a long way.

No? Why not?

Oof, viciously patronising. Good on you. I mean, it pisses me off and I will absolutely remember that, but still.

we're all stuck underground. don't even have a sky to aim for.

is it? i didn't mean to be. i was being serious, actually. where i'm from, stuff like confidence and determination can...kinda reshape the whole world.

Yeah, okay that's rough. Any reason for that? Toxic atmosphere, deadly inhabitants, giant laser scorching the surface?

Eh, it's whatever. Hey, if you didn't mean it that way, then we're cool. You can call it a skill then, if you like. Especially since I'm kinda aiming to reshape a broken society.

close. magical barrier, actually.

well, hey. good luck on that, when you go home.

Yeesh. Anyone tried breaking it?

Thanks. I won't remember this at that point, but yeah. It'll work out in the end, I'm sure.

yeah, we've tried.

[For a few thousand years, and then across potentially infinite timelines.]

i mean, i imagine it wouldn't be too helpful to remember that a random skeleton in another universe wished you luck one time. but whatever. the sentiment's there.

[Video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

Re: [video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]

[video]