⎊ [Video]

[narcissistictendencies]

[The feed opens to Tony's form from about the waist up. His sleeves are rolled up and his left arm is covered in burns that look to be about a week old. He's holding a strange device about eight inches long. It's encased entirely in a shell and seems to have a small domed sensor on top.]

I just wanted to say, if you start seeing these around, it's not a tiny alien invasion, they're sensors. I'm setting them around key locations in the hopes of finding a way to predict these event things. In light of the most recent catastrophe, I think it's only a reasonable step towards surviving something like that again. There has to be something preceding these things, right? Like a low-pressure system before a storm. We get a warning, sure. Sometimes, anyway? Maybe, if we can figure out what causes them or where they're coming from, we can delay or stop them?

[It's... all he's got, okay? He hates feeling like he isn't in control and he hates that people die because of it, even more.]

I'm... [He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, the beginnings of a sleepless headache coming on.] officially out of retirement. Hold the "I told you so"s. You know who you are.

Comments

[narcissistictendencies]

[Funny thing, that smirk. Because the smirk he gets from Tony looks just as strained. Like neither of them is actually saying what's on their minds.]

Suction cup arrows on an 80 pound drawstring bow will still crack the thin shell casing, bird brain. I didn't build them to be durable. They're delicate pieces of equipment.

No one won any bets because no one placed any official wagers. So can it, Cockatiel.

[bowsniper]

[ As they continue to smirk and talk around the actual issue. ]

You're no fun. What else am I supposed to use for target practice then?

[ Besides you know, actual targets. ]

Says you. Who says we didn't have a pool set up that you didn't know about?

[narcissistictendencies]

I'm tons of fun. How about, oh, I don't know, the actual targets in the shooting range? Or the drones I built for the training room? Romanoff?

[Clint, sweetie, he's deadpanning at you.]

Seeing as I'm the key party in this whole thing, I think I say. But no, go ahead. What'd you guys bet?

[You can't have a successful pool without currency. The magic closets make bets almost useless anymore... trust him, he's bummed about that too, sort of.]

[bowsniper]

Those are the obvious choices. Though I'm telling your wife you want me to use her for target practice. Someone is sleeping on the couch tonight.

[ He sees your deadpan and gives you a smug smirk. ]

Lifetime supply of snack packs? [ Okay, so they hadn't gotten around to making an wagers yet... ]

[narcissistictendencies]

I think she'll understand. What better target than one that can kick your ass?

Barton, if you need bird seed that badly, just ask the closet. You don't have to make unrealistic wagers for it. Good God, man.

[He is calling your bluff unofficially, but this was just more fun. So yeah.]

[bowsniper]

You mean a target that can kick your ass. My ass happens to be unkickable.

[ Just don't tell Natasha that, she will set out to prove him wrong. ]

Unrealistic huh? Whose the one coming out of retirement?

[narcissistictendencies]

Unkickable, huh? See, now you're making me want to test that theory.

[Oh, he'll totally tell Natasha that. Without a doubt.]

There's a reason for that and you know it. Otherwise, I'd happily be sipping margaritas on the beach.

[bowsniper]

You're welcome to try.

[ He should know better than to challenge Tony, but he does it anyway. ]

Oh? What's that? [ Like it doesn't know it probably had something to do with zombies and wanting to be prepared. ]

[narcissistictendencies]

Yeah? And who said I'm gonna be the one to try?

[He can build robots that will kick your ass, Barton. Even if it's more literal than metaphorical.]

You lot can't seem to handle Avenging without me. [Like hell he's gonna actually say it, dammit.]

[bowsniper]

Then it doesn't count.

[ He knows you can build robots that can kick his ass Tony, you've already done that. Don't do it again. ]

Clearly. [ That's his sarcastic voice. ] Zombies aren't really something we're used to.