[VIDEO] speaking as a guy who's really got it going on...

[slapfight]

 [HERE'S PERIDOT, looking like a kid in a candy store at this point, she's got her face pressed to her omnitool for a brief moment before she adjusts the screen enough so that it's not a close-up of her pores- if she had pores- and shows more of her head, and, more importantly, the hustle and bustle of the strip behind her.]

Wonderland Log #3. 

We're in the middle of a new event, one that seems to be rather... recreational in nature. At first I was apprehensive. Wonderland rarely puts us in events that are meant strictly for our own enjoyment, but after careful analysis, it does appear to be exactly what it is- a, as Earth ones say, vacation. 

[her voice rises in excitement] And since my defection, I have never been farther than the Earth's moon. I can only imagine how amazing the rest of the universe is when I'm not viewing it through Homeworld's lens! This is going to be great! 

But fear not, my fellow victims to Wonderland's machinations. I know the wider galaxy is a vast mystery to Earthlings, so I'll be happy to act as an interpreter and guide. It may not be a system I'm familiar with, but heh. If you've seen one space hub, you've seen-

[Peridot's eyes track something on her left and she lets out a gasp of delight.] Oh my stars, what is that? Those are the most amazing shirts I've ever seen. The appearance modifiers here are so streamlined and elegant.  I must have them.

[and the feed clicks off, mid-log while Peridot rushes to a clothing store to indulge her inner fashionista.]

Comments

video

[cloned]

What planet are you from? [Kon can't help but be curious. Sure, he knows a handful of aliens, but there's so much out there.] Not this place, right?

it's only naa-TURAL! It's only me! (text;)

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

...did you get anything good?

[slapfight]

Of course not. [she snorts] This is a hub of various species. The average gem would never mingle so casually with other races.

[and then, more proudly:] I'm from the gem Homeworld, though I've defected from it, and now reside on Earth.

[slapfight]

Did you know there are shirts you can wear on your head?

video;

[circlejerked]

... Let us know how the shopping goes.

<sub>[Wow, this was something to see. After Peridot first introduced herself as a gem, Anders has mostly pictured her doing what gems and rocks usually do--spending their lives on solid ground. Or in solid ground, as the case may be. He appears on the screen with an expression somewhere between curiosity and bemused entertainment.

"This is going to be great." He hasn't heard that out of her mouth very often.]</sub>

You've travelled in space, Peridot?

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

w

what?

like... hats?

[slapfight]

... Appearance modifiers are called different things depending on where they're worn?

[WHY HASN'T ANYONE CORRECTED HER. Y'ALL ARE SLACKING. or are like Amethyst and think it's funny.]

[slapfight]

[Peridot appears to have set her omnitool on a surface so she can try on clothing while still conversing.]

Gems are a space-faring race. We rarely stay on one planet for very long. Especially not Peridots who have jobs to do- kindergartens to set up and maintain, new gems to create. That sort of thing.

[video]

[sciencelizard]

[Omg, Peridot looks so excited. This is wonderful.]

A-Appearance modifiers?

[She's... talking about clothes, right? Do gems not have clothes???]

[slapfight]

Like my jumpsuit! [she gestures to it as she speaks, even going as far as to tug on the "fabric." while it seems to behave like cloth does at a superficial level, it's pretty clear that it's... not going to come off.] Only not melded to my body. It's one of the few things organic life really gets right.

[cloned]

Yeah? Why'd you defect? I mean the lack of mingling makes them sound like colossal dicks, so guessing I can't blame you.

[circlejerked]

_{[The rest gets relegated to the backburner as one thing in particular snags Anders' attention.]}

Peridot! _{[Honest-to-Maker surprise registers in his voice.]} You didn't mention you were a mother.

_{[Kindergarten. New gems. Can it be true? Is Peridot the proud parent of an adorable precious stone or two?]}

[heroica]

[ Robyn can't help but smile at the display, chuckling lightly. ]

Were you able to find some clothes that you like?

[slapfight]

[colossal what??]

Because I couldn't justify destroying a planet that still had intrinsic value! It would be illogical... Irrational! Pointless. It's not like we even needed more spires. [er] ...The kindergartens, maybe, but there are other, uninhabited planets still suitable for colonization.

[slapfight]

[record scratch]

....What?

[slapfight]

[she shows off a black jacket, giggling indulgently.] What do you think? Does it make me look "cool?"

[sciencelizard]

Wait, you're n-not actually wearing clothes?? They're just part of your form??

[They can just make and wear whatever they want whaaaaaaaaat]

So you don't have to, uhm, worry about sizing, or f-finding stuff in your size? That's amazing.

[circlejerked]

_{[The only creature on god's green earth more innocent than Anders would be a baby cherub that farts rainbows. Her dumbfounded question is met with genuine gladness. Peridot, for shame, you've been holding out on him.]}

Is the father in the picture? How about baby photos--have any of those?

[slapfight]

It's more convenient that way. We'd never accomplish anything if we had to think about things like that. But for special occasions, a gem that can shapeshift can even alter her appearance modifiers to whatever specification she wants for a short time.

[but as she can't shapeshift at all, having the option to just wear things is grand.]

[slapfight]

[she is so terrified right now. she is not Rose Quartz. she does not do that. why.]

Are you talking about- [SHE BLUSHES FURIOUSLY] That is not what I meant!!

[heroica]

It looks wonderful. [ She agrees, laughing again, fond. ] I know that I could never wear something like that.

video;

[thecourier]

[Oh hey, it's Peridot, most commonly known to Dan as the one who helped him get a bullet out of his abdominal cavity after his mirror shot him.

Of course she'd be enjoying herself here.]

Clothes shoppin', 'Dot? ['Appearance modifiers'. It wasn't a big leap.] Anythin' good?

[sciencelizard]

So you don't, uhm, p-pick out outfits or anything? You're just uh, assigned it? Or do you pick it w-when you're made?

[She's never been a fashionista by nature, but even she likes to shake up her wardrobe every once and a while. Especially for comfortable vs fashionable.]

Like, uhm, what if you get stuck with clothes that, uh, a-are super uncomfortable? You can't ever change? Or does it just feel like a part of your skin because it's all a hologram anyway???

[cloned]

...yeah, the lack of logic is totally the first reason that occurs for not destroying a planet. [I mean okay sure, it works, but he's just saying.]

[circlejerked]

--Baby-making? Is that not what we're talking about?

<sub>[Flushed cheeks will never not be an interesting look on her, given the strange hue it creates with her green complexion.

It helps that Anders has long been the type to mine the innocent for laughable reactions. He smiles all the more as he can see the moment she puts two and two together, her expression twisting.]</sub>

Sorry, sorry, I just assumed by "new gems," you meant the birds and the bees. The miracle of life and all that. The fluorescent glow of motherhood.

_{[Better stop him before he keeps going.]}