[Magic baby clones? Murder? The Once-ler's only kind of vaguely been paying attention to any of that. Because a couple of weeks ago, he struck a deal with the vendors and returned to his room with about 47 Truffula tufts, an itchy forehead, and no memories of being in Kindergarden. But hey, whatever! They practically gave him the materials, so who cares? And now, he is on-screen to present his glorious invention. He doesn't have much space, so the Truffula tufts are piled up behind him against the wall.
My fellow Wonderlandians, I am about to show you something that's going to rock all of your worlds at the same time. I present to you...The Thneed
[He holds up a yellow one, so everyone can see the design of it, but he's also wearing a pink one as a scarf. For the unfamiliar, it looks a lot like a sweater with four arm holes, two of which are sewn together in a loop.
You might be thinking "Ew, what the heck is that thing?" or "Oh, that's just a stupid scarf!"! But oh, my friends, it is so much more than that. It's a mop! It's a trampoline! It's a cloth that keeps your face clean! It's a slingshot and a jump rope and a stylish bag - it's everything you wish you had!
[The Once-ler is good at this when he gets on a roll. While he's doing his routine though, he doesn't notice a long green arm reach through his mirror and snatch one of the Truffula tufts right off the pile! Unsurprisingly, since he's been so distracted, this has been going on for a while.
It's easily the single most useful item you could ever have in Wonderland, and it can be yours today! Now, normally
it's just $3.98, but since the circumstances are really weird, I'm going to be much more flexible and open it up to bartering
! I know a bunch of you got stuck here without money, or never had American money to begin with, so I'll take whatever you've got! Come haggle with me, and I'll make you a glorious Thneed that will not
They come in red, purple, yellow, orange, and pink, and I am open for business from now until forever! And, exclusively to Wonderland, I have plaid models - [He gestures to the Red plaid, and Purple/Yellow plaid that Alex drunkenly preordered.
] - and I'm experimenting with specialty colors - [He gestures in the opposite direction to Jade's which is...green-ish? It's hanging out to dry, but all the blue dye appears to be dripping right out of it. He turns the camera away from that disaster.
] Uh, those aren't ready for sale yet.
So! Any takers?