[this was in no way a good event for Peridot. oh, it had started out well enough, resistances, rebellion, standing up for the little guy, but it had all been wrong, and there for a brief moment, she was something she wasn't supposed to be. not in a metaphorical sense either. in a very real, very horrifying sense.
and then it was over. and she was back to being a gem, as if it had never happened, and was she supposed to forget that? forget that form, that body when she could remember it clearly. this is probably not bothering anyone else, but it's bothering her, and she isn't sure how to bring it up or discuss it or anything.
so she goes to her own stand-by... being bitter.]
Log Date... [she pauses, suddenly realizing she has no idea what the date even is anymore, and then goes on.] Undated Log zero-dash-zero-dash-one.
This is a public transmission from Peridot. Full designation "Peridot Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG," a gem formerly of Homeworld and currently of Earth. Allied with the Crystal Gems. [a snort escapes her- the sound pained] See that's the important word there- Gem. That's what I am. I can deny and change my intended purpose until my form dissipates, but I can't stop being a gem, am I right?
[another noise, this one more pained than the last.] As the last few days will attest, I am not right. At all. It seems whatever machinations Wonderland has in place cannot only take our memories, toy with our minds and sense of reality, and keep us locked on this miserable planet that's a poor copy of Earth, but it can also change our entire make-up on a whim. And who's to say it has to change us back? Are there people who've been stuck like this? [her voice rises, hysterical in pitch] Is this why there's a lizard that talks?? I've never seen a lizard that can speak on Earth! They just crawl around and do things with their tongues! I know, because I followed one around for most of an Earth cycle once out of sheer boredom! Maybe he was once a human, and Wonderland decided, "Why don't I just make him a lizard? It'll be great!"
[she stops mid-rant, unsure of where she was even going with this. she's fine. it's okay. she just... needed to vent about it. publicly. now the healing can begin?
Talking about what makes you feel bad is supposed to make it go away, right? Why isn't it working?
[maybe because that isn't at all talking about it, Peri.]