entranceway | 02 [accidental video]

[There's no warning what's going on before the video starts, just a flash of bright light and violent motion as the recording device shoots across the room and bounces off a wall, landing to give a tilted view of Jowan's room. It's not a particularly interesting room, nearly as stark and empty as they all start out when claimed, although it does now feature a small fire burning merrily in the corner. Not in a fireplace, which is probably why it's starting to spread quite alarmingly, but it definitely brightens the place up.

It's also probably the reason why Jowan is panicking just a little.] That wasn't supposed to happen!

[He stands at the edge of what the device is recording of the room and looks largely uncertain, glancing around the room for an idea of what to do before swallowing hard and taking a step forward, brow furrowing as he extends his hands and frost leaves his fingertips. The flames crackle loudly at the ice and Jowan closes his eyes, pushing more power into the spell until a sheet of ice surges forward suddenly, dousing the flames and leaving a good chunk of the room covered in ice. But at least there's no fire any more, right?]

I don't understand what went wrong! It shouldn't be this difficult. [He wanders over to nudge the ice with a toe and sigh heavily.] Why does this always end up happening to me?

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[ Brennan might be peering a little sideways in his screen to try and make out what just happened. ]

Uh, Jowan? Are you alright in there?

Do I even want to ask what was supposed to happen?

[He's aware now thanks to Anders that he can't just pretend that didn't happen and everything is fine, so Jowan prepares for what he imagines is going to be no small amount of mocking. He's at least mildly reassured by the face that Brennan doesn't seem to be going that route, though he wouldn't blame him if he changes once he hears what happened.]

I'm fine, nothing hurt but my pride. [He kicks at the ice again.] I was trying Creation magic but it wasn't working right and I got frustrated and then... everything exploded.

[He looks at Brennan again then, an idea occurring to him.] Could you give me some advice maybe? Your magic was out of control before, with your hand... How do you control it?

Uh.

[ Brennan blinks, because magic is really not his forte. Outside of the Anchor, he's never wielded magic of any kind and he's not at all sure this is the same thing. ]

I'm not sure it's control so much as.... hmm. Focusing it? I'm not trying to make it do something other than what it's already trying to do, or what it's made to do. I'm just... aiming it better I guess?

That's probably not very helpful. I'm sorry.

It's that easy for you? [Jowan's shoulders slum as he thinks how skilled a mage Brennan must be to find magic that simple.] You must have a lot of practise in that case. Have you ever had problems with magic before?

I'm not sure 'easy' is the right word for it. [ He squints a little. ] I did have to practice a lot. When I started it, it hurt every time I tried to use it. Even later, it still did sometimes, for the bigger Rifts. Most of me learning how to use it mostly felt like fumbling in the dark - no one really knew how it worked, although I had one companion who helped quite a bit. I sorta had to go by instinct and make a lot of it up as I went.

And no, before this? Not a drop of magic in sight. I grew up in Ostwick, in the Free Marches. Our Circle there was better than most, but even then I was only ever there a handful of times - I had cousins in the Templars, and a couple among the mages.

You weren't born a mage? [That part surprises him; from what Jowan had seen of the man's hand that one, rather frightening, time, he'd just assumed that he was. But if that's not right...]

Are you saying that something gave you magic?

[ Brennan chuckles slightly at that and inclines his head in acknowledgement. ] I wasn't, no. In fact, I was meant to join the Templars, at one point, but I wiggled out of that as quickly as I could. Not really what I saw for myself, and I probably would have been terrible at it, to boot.

I interrupted a magical ritual, actually. An ancient Tevinter magister = one of The ancient magisters, actually - wanted to rip another hole in the Veil. I happened to be in the right (or wrong) place at the right time and got the Anchor instead of him - its ability is to open and close tears in the Veil, apparently.

...you're making all of this up, aren't you?

[Because all of it just sounds so farfetched, Jowan can't imagine it ever being true.]

Ancient Tevinter magisters, holes in the Veil? That's got to be made up, it can't be real.

[ Brennan just laughs, because that is still his reaction when he stops to thnk about the mess he'd stumbled into. ]

Maker, but I wish it was made up. But it's all been too ridiculous to even pass off as believable fiction, or so I've been informed.

But it can't be real. [Jowan protests, almost hoping Brennan will go 'haha almost got you!' in a moment. The alternative just... doesn't sit well with him.]

If you actually met one of the Tevinter magisters that turned the Golden City black and were turned into darkspawn and everything, then that means that... the Maker is really real? I mean, I thought He was before but this is really real! And then doesn't that also mean that...

Doesn't that mean that magic is something bad then? The Chantry talks about it like it's a sign that the Maker hasn't forgiven us, since mages are still being born and... wouldn't that mean we're being punished?

[ Brennan sighs, because this is a crisis they'd all been having since the destruction of Haven, and his own return trip to the Fade hadn't made it any clearer. ]

No. Magic isn't bad. It's just magic. I still believe that just as much now as I did before I ever fell through a hole in the Fade. How it is used can be twisted, just as the person using it could be twisted, but you could say the same of any person with a sword in their hand.

I don't know what it means for the Chantry lore. I know I've never had a chat with the Maker, despite physically walking in the Fade myself. And Corypheus.... he insisted that when the magisters reached the Golden City it was already black and empty. And to be honest... I'm not entirely certain that place is what they thought it was either.

[ He's spent too long with Solas to wonder if their own historical teachings were anything more than just some fumblings through lost or sundered information for a truth. He'd met Mythal, had walked through mirrors into pockets of places so long forgotten that they might as well have been myth themselves. Maybe with centuries to walk the Fade and glean from the memories found there, he might be able to form a better picture of it, but now? Now he felt like every new glimpse of information he gained about the past just opened up dozens of new questions. ]

But... you're saying that all of what the Chantry says is why magic is a punishment and a sign of the Maker turning away from us actually happened! How can you believe that and think that magic isn't bad?

[The last part is just shy of being a wail; his whole life Jowan's been taught how the Circle and Chantry think of magic, seen how others see it as only a curse and something to turn away from. One of the few things he'd taken some small comfort in was that it all felt a bit like a distant story, not something really real even if they believed it was.

But now here was someone saying that they'd seen enough personally to make it all really real after all and he hadn't any idea how to take that, his mind almost desperately latching onto some idea that if he protested enough, Brennan might take it back and make everything normal again.]

02 [accidental video]

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