[ Is he cruel for making Ishimaru recall all these things again? For sure. But this is for the best. For both of them.
Honestly, the fact that Ishimaru has known about Fujisaki's real gender makes everything much easier. Mondo could never tell him about that secret if he wasn't informed in the first place, and that'd make explaining a lot more complicated. He tries to resist the urge to sigh in relief. ]
That's right. I found out that the e-Handbook's vulnerable to heat 'cuz I broke mine during our sauna duel.
[ He pauses for a moment, as if letting it sink in on Ishimaru, though it's actually for him to gather himself. ]
They've got some e-Handbooks of the... dead ones [ For the lack of better wording. ] lying over at the entrance hall. Took one of theirs to get into the girls' locker room and moved everything over there.
[ For what reason, he probably doesn't need to spell it out for Ishimaru to understand. Maybe. Either way, he's moving on. ]
Anyway.
[ Here goes. Story time part two. ]
You already know why I couldn't let my secret out. If the team found out, everything... big bro's death, the guilt that I'd been bearing on my own for so long... they'd be all for nothin'. ...Let's be real, I was scared.
Those thoughts swarmed me for the whole day, and it just became worse and worse as the time limit was dwindlin' down. I seriously had no fucking clue what to do...
[ His voice begins to tremble, so he swallows, and then huffs for a bit, but doesn't stop. ]
I met up with Fujisaki that night 'cuz he wanted me to show him how to train.
That was when he told me about his secret, that he was a guy. So I asked him why he told me, and he said that he wanted to change, he wanted to beat his weak self who'd been running behind lies.
I realised then, that we were the same, but he was much stronger than I am. [ Even now. ] It felt like a knife on my gut, like he was telling me that I was just like his weak self.
[ He stares down at his balled fist. ]
He said, that, 'cuz I was strong, it wouldn't be a problem for me if Monokuma exposed my secret. It felt like sarcasm.
But now I know that it was envy on my part. I was so fucking envious of his strength that it blinded me. I kept fighting the words in the back of my mind, I tried convincing myself that I was strong, strong, stronger than everyone else, stronger than him ー even stronger than my big bro!
Iー!
[ The volume of his voice goes on a crescendo, before falling completely quiet as he turned to look at Ishimaru. ]
I didn't want to face my weakness.
Before I knew it, I saw Fujisaki's dead body drenched in blood, and a bloody dumbbell on my hand.
[ He grits his teeth again, voice jittering more than ever. ]
watch out we've got a baadass o'er here
Honestly, the fact that Ishimaru has known about Fujisaki's real gender makes everything much easier. Mondo could never tell him about that secret if he wasn't informed in the first place, and that'd make explaining a lot more complicated. He tries to resist the urge to sigh in relief. ]
That's right. I found out that the e-Handbook's vulnerable to heat 'cuz I broke mine during our sauna duel.
[ He pauses for a moment, as if letting it sink in on Ishimaru, though it's actually for him to gather himself. ]
They've got some e-Handbooks of the... dead ones [ For the lack of better wording. ] lying over at the entrance hall. Took one of theirs to get into the girls' locker room and moved everything over there.
[ For what reason, he probably doesn't need to spell it out for Ishimaru to understand. Maybe. Either way, he's moving on. ]
Anyway.
[ Here goes. Story time part two. ]
You already know why I couldn't let my secret out. If the team found out, everything... big bro's death, the guilt that I'd been bearing on my own for so long... they'd be all for nothin'. ...Let's be real, I was scared.
Those thoughts swarmed me for the whole day, and it just became worse and worse as the time limit was dwindlin' down. I seriously had no fucking clue what to do...
[ His voice begins to tremble, so he swallows, and then huffs for a bit, but doesn't stop. ]
I met up with Fujisaki that night 'cuz he wanted me to show him how to train.
That was when he told me about his secret, that he was a guy. So I asked him why he told me, and he said that he wanted to change, he wanted to beat his weak self who'd been running behind lies.
I realised then, that we were the same, but he was much stronger than I am. [ Even now. ] It felt like a knife on my gut, like he was telling me that I was just like his weak self.
[ He stares down at his balled fist. ]
He said, that, 'cuz I was strong, it wouldn't be a problem for me if Monokuma exposed my secret. It felt like sarcasm.
Iー!
[ The volume of his voice goes on a crescendo, before falling completely quiet as he turned to look at Ishimaru. ]
I didn't want to face my weakness.
Before I knew it, I saw Fujisaki's dead body drenched in blood, and a bloody dumbbell on my hand.
[ He grits his teeth again, voice jittering more than ever. ]
Y, you get it now, right? Ishimaru...