[But Damian can't help but judge. Especially when he finds the son of a legacy so near tears.]

...First things first. Do not start crying. I can not stress this enough, Kent.

Second, your parents are not here. You can call them all you like, but this time you really are on your own. So knock it off.

Third. The rooms are yours for the picking. Find an empty one and there you have it.

And fourth... the ogres? Well, they're just here to kill us.

Welcome to wonderland.