[She thinks about it hard, picking her words very carefully.]

It's...exhausting, really. When they were gone, I didn't feel anything about it at all. People would tell me and I remember them telling me now, but at the time I always thought they were talking nonsense so I'd talk nonsense back...

So now...now, it's a weight I never knew I was carrying, except suddenly I can feel it now, and now it's crushing to know what's gone and what was gone.