[VIDEO] speaking as a guy who's really got it going on...

[slapfight]

 [HERE'S PERIDOT, looking like a kid in a candy store at this point, she's got her face pressed to her omnitool for a brief moment before she adjusts the screen enough so that it's not a close-up of her pores- if she had pores- and shows more of her head, and, more importantly, the hustle and bustle of the strip behind her.]

Wonderland Log #3. 

We're in the middle of a new event, one that seems to be rather... recreational in nature. At first I was apprehensive. Wonderland rarely puts us in events that are meant strictly for our own enjoyment, but after careful analysis, it does appear to be exactly what it is- a, as Earth ones say, vacation. 

[her voice rises in excitement] And since my defection, I have never been farther than the Earth's moon. I can only imagine how amazing the rest of the universe is when I'm not viewing it through Homeworld's lens! This is going to be great! 

But fear not, my fellow victims to Wonderland's machinations. I know the wider galaxy is a vast mystery to Earthlings, so I'll be happy to act as an interpreter and guide. It may not be a system I'm familiar with, but heh. If you've seen one space hub, you've seen-

[Peridot's eyes track something on her left and she lets out a gasp of delight.] Oh my stars, what is that? Those are the most amazing shirts I've ever seen. The appearance modifiers here are so streamlined and elegant.  I must have them.

[and the feed clicks off, mid-log while Peridot rushes to a clothing store to indulge her inner fashionista.]

Comments

[slapfight]

[there's some annoyed chatter offscreen. Peridot looks OFFENDED.]

...They're asking me to leave.

[slapfight]

According to the proprietor of this establishment, I'm going to find out what's cool in this part of the universe.

[slapfight]

Maybe a lesser kindergartner. But a superior one gets it right every time, down to the spacing of the entry holes.

[thecourier]

Yeah... that's what tends t' happen when y' start hollerin' in the middle of a store.

[Please, Peridot.]

Try apologisin'.

[slapfight]

...Why? Aren't they supposed to be helping me?

[WHY DOES HER TONE HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT.]

for all their politeness, yeah, they tend to be pretty tone deaf

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

oh....

i'm sorry.....

i mean.... it does matter...but i understand if you'd rather not talk about it...sorry...

[slapfight]

It's not that I don't want to talk about it. [she LOVES talking.] It's more that I don't know how to.

[thecourier]

Well, sure, but they're people too. They don't gotta do anythin' for y' if yer makin' a scene.

[Just trust him on this one!]

wtf i didn't get a notif!

[drummeintheface]

Oh! Can you teach me about the cool stuff? I want to be cool!

[rlynotfeelinup2itrnsorry]

i….. i get that….

sometimes it's nice if you…. remember it fondly….. it's okay to be sad but if the memories make you smile, that's important….

[slapfight]

[skeptically] I don't know... You might not have what it takes to be as cool as I am.

[drummeintheface]

What?!

[Greg grabs his device and shoves his face into it.]

I'm cool! I have what it takes! I want to be the coolest!

[slapfight]

That's the problem! I don't remember it fondly... I don't remember anything that I would have any feelings about at all. I did my job. I served my Diamond. That was all I had to do. Feelings weren't a part of that.

[slapfight]

But see? There's your problem. [she grins sly, clearly enjoying having power over a small child.] You're trying too hard. To be cool, you have to be aloof. Above it all.

[drummeintheface]

A loof above it all? Like. Flying?

[He can't do that anymore. :(]