[ kara looks down at her lap. fiddles a little with the frayed hems on her sweater's sleeves and shrugs one shoulder. ]
I don't know. It-- [ there's a lot of mixed feelings there. a lot of things she's still sorting through. and while part of her desperately wants to talk about it, another part of her feels ashamed. ]
She wasn't awful when I was growing up. Strict. A little cold. But she was a scientist and that wasn't out of the norm. She was my mother and I loved her.
[ alura saw herself as completely logical. saw emotions as little more than brain chemistry that, while good at times, were also a thing to be controlled. the irony is that in the end, they controlled her. ]
I wanted her to be proud of me more than anything. Even after I knew she had people killed the first time. Even when I spent nights wishing it was her who had been murdered and not my father. I just... wanted my family back.
[ she gives a hollow laugh and scrubs at her eyes. she's not crying, not yet, but she is a little teary. ]
action
I don't know. It-- [ there's a lot of mixed feelings there. a lot of things she's still sorting through. and while part of her desperately wants to talk about it, another part of her feels ashamed. ]
She wasn't awful when I was growing up. Strict. A little cold. But she was a scientist and that wasn't out of the norm. She was my mother and I loved her.
[ alura saw herself as completely logical. saw emotions as little more than brain chemistry that, while good at times, were also a thing to be controlled. the irony is that in the end, they controlled her. ]
I wanted her to be proud of me more than anything. Even after I knew she had people killed the first time. Even when I spent nights wishing it was her who had been murdered and not my father. I just... wanted my family back.
[ she gives a hollow laugh and scrubs at her eyes. she's not crying, not yet, but she is a little teary. ]
How fucked up is that?