10th side [action]

[masukukunai]

He’s in Junes. Now there’s a locale he knows by heart. It’s perfect and clear and feels so natural; even though it seems like it’s been a long time he’s not put off at all. The movements are all automatic. He’s always felt a bit like a dog, coming when called and playing a constant game of fetch, but it just made it that much easier to go on and believe that nothing was wrong.

When he sits down for lunch break in the food court, nobody joins him. They never do, and he’s not surprised.

(But there’s always a table where I’m never alone. Where did it go?)

He plays idly with the straw in his mouth, noisily slurping at the icy, watered-down drink at the bottom of his cup, and checks his phone with his free hand. There’s some spam at the top of his inbox, but it’s otherwise empty as usual.

(As usual?)

Well, he does have a pile of saved mail. Saved mail. Since when does he do that? He presses buttons and brings it up.

There are days and weeks and months worth of messages. Any one he randomly choose comes up right away. They’re all from the same sender.

“Hana-chan!”

His head turns towards the voice right away. It brings happiness to his face before he’s even done the motion and he’s not sure why. It’s warm and it tugs at his memory like it was something treasured. Those three syllables, exactly as they were.

Her face, however, was a blur.

No, no, that wasn’t quite right. There were features that he all recognized. When he looked at the eyes, he saw her eyes, or her brow, or her hair. But her face was never altogether one at the same time. He looked and tried and he wanted, but it was simply out of his reach.

Still, there were those sweet words. A dog will always come to the voice of its master, no matter who the voice belongs to. It’s surreal, and even though he knows it’s wrong, he stays. He longs for it so much he refuses to leave. If he did, he’d be trampling over something important.

Besides, the table isn’t there, and there isn’t any mail. When he stands up and she wraps her arms around his, he feels very weak, like she’s holding him up. It’s so perfectly painful he never wants her to let go. For once, someone needs him, and won’t leave. He won’t be alone and he doesn’t have to worry that he will be. It’s so right like that, with the wonderful sound of her voice…

His cheeks ache from smiling.

Comments

[eatsyourscience]

After parting ways with Naoto and Ammy, Souji goes to find Yousuke first. He'll get Yousuke and then Kanji, and then anyone else he can think of.

Souji isn't that surprised to find that when he enters Yousuke's room, he's at Junes, in the lobby by the elevators. He wrinkles his nose at the music and pushes thoughts of his own dream and how he wouldn't have minded staying there with his cousin and uncle out of his mind.

Taking the elevator up to the food court is automatic--he doesn't give it any thought whatsoever--and he doesn't balk when he steps out into the sun. The others aren't there, but he didn't really expect them to be.

What makes him pause is the sight of Konishi-senpai. He shouldn't be surprised, and he really isn't. The feeling in his gut is more like resignation and maybe a little annoyance. Whatever Saki was to Yousuke, before or after her death, Souji had known she'd never go away. Not altogether. He's just not sure how easy it will be to convince Yousuke to let go of this again.

He steps closer. "Yousuke."

[masukukunai]

Yousuke starts. He wasn't expecting anyone else to call his name. His first name alone. Nobody else ever came for him, when he was here. It was only him and her.

But he still looks towards the voice. It was another that was familiar in a way that made him immediately want to go and follow. When he turns, he feels the grip around his arm tighten.

Souji's face is so sharp and so real that he's the one that feels odd in this place where everything felt vaguely blurred and far away. There's a very powerful sensation of his presence being both highly unusual and unwanted. This was somewhere where he went alone. This was somewhere...

"So--"

His mouth forms the first syllable, and she hugs around his arm so tightly that he stops. He looks to her instead.

"Senpai? What's wrong?"

She only shakes her head and says his name again. He doesn't understand it.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji has a feeling it's going to be Saki that will present the most difficulty, not Yousuke. Then again, if this is a dream, all of this is Yousuke, isn't it?

"It's time to go, Yousuke."

[masukukunai]

"Go?"

There was somewhere to go to? He was working at Junes, he couldn't go anywhere...

But he knows Souji. He knows where his mail was supposed to be in his phone, and where he was supposed to be sitting at that table. He just wasn't supposed to be here.

[eatsyourscience]

"Back to where we were." He comes closer, taking measured steps.

[masukukunai]

Yousuke doesn't move on his own, but the apparition tugs him back. He winds up going back with her.

"I can't--" she tugs again, and he looks down at her, "--It's okay senpai, it's just Souji-- I can't, I have to be here. She..."

If I leave, she'll be gone too. He doesn't know this consciously, but still understands it.

[eatsyourscience]

"She's dead."

[masukukunai]

Yousuke stands up at attention, and the girl cries out, throwing her arms around him.

She was dead. She had been dead for a long time. It was why he couldn't see her whole face, and why she only said certain words. He couldn't remember her well enough now to see her as she truly was then.

"...Where is this?"

[eatsyourscience]

Souji's voice softens and he comes closer. "It's a dream."

[masukukunai]

A dream.

"Oh."

He looks down. He's had this dream plenty of times before. It's just never been real. He believed Souji because this was the first time he'd ever been there too.

The girl hangs onto him and cries. His eyes drift over to her.

"...I feel like we've been here before."

He seemed to be in front of Souji like this a lot.

[eatsyourscience]

"Let's talk somewhere else."

[masukukunai]

"Mmm..."

He tries to take a step forward, and she pulls him back again. Looking at her, with no real features and only a few words-- It was sad. He didn't have any other word to explain it. Forgetting her, losing her again, holding on so desperately... It was just sad. From every angle. And Souji saw all of it.

"I'm sorry."

He's not sure who he's saying it to. He turns to hug her, in parting. He doesn't meant to linger long.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji waits, reminded yet again how lucky he is that his own vulnerable moments have been seen so seldom by his friends.

When Yousuke finally approaches him, he embraces him, a tacit reminder that he doesn't have to apologize for this.

[masukukunai]

Yousuke leans into him, feeling how solid and warm he is. After a few moments, he buries his face into his shoulder and hugs him back, so tightly he was clutching. He holds his posture like he's in pain.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji's arms tighten around him, one of them around his waist (like normal) and the other up around his back and shoulders. He doesn't say anything for a little while. He's not really sure what he could say that would help. What finally comes out is:

"I'm here."

[masukukunai]

He nods against him in acknowledgment. Souji was here. He wasn't alone.

"You're not going anywhere. Right?"

[eatsyourscience]

"Right." Not intentionally, anyway.

[masukukunai]

"...Okay."

Yousuke lets go. He can't look anywhere but the floor. He feels so ashamed. And this way, tears won't roll don't his cheeks. Instead he hopes in vain that Souji won't see them as they fall.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji reaches for Yousuke's hand and twines their fingers. "Let's go somewhere else."

[masukukunai]

"Yeah."

The girl had been crying, a strangled, broken sound, not human at all. But it was beginning to fade. Everything was starting to blur with fuzzy distortion, while the sky blinked black and red. Any people milling about were gone.

Still, he held Souji's hand tightly. The space around them stayed clear.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji steps forward, starting to lead Yousuke out of this dream. If he can find the way out, anyway.

[masukukunai]

Looking where he came from would be a good start. But he better be quick about it, because things seem to be getting more and more sinister as time ticks by.

[eatsyourscience]

Souji starts moving.

"Be here now, Yousuke."

[masukukunai]

But here is the last place he wants to be right now.

Still, he raises his head. When he sees his surroundings, he jumps in fright and smacks into Souji's back.

"How do we get out?"

[eatsyourscience]

Souji had meant "with me". He squeezes Yousuke's hand and nods ahead of himself. "I came in from this way."