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( BACKDATED TO DEC. 1 )

[ it's evident barry's at the bar — or a bar, given how his phone's sort of sitting on the top of a tipped over bowl that had held peanuts — with a few empty bottles around him. his efforts to get drunk have proven fruitless, but barry allen is determined. ]

So, uh … [ barry looks a little tired, hair a slight mess, but he's not slurring his words. he wishes he was. ] What are you supposed to do when someone leaves? Does time kind of stop? Do rabbit holes appear out of nowhere for people to fall upwards out of?

[ it wasn't really covered in the pamphlet how you're supposed to react when someone just up and disappears. barry's never been good at that. he's tried running and he's almost going to catch a cold with how wet he always is. (his clothes are a little damp from running so fast and him winding up spluttering in the pool.) ]

Iris — Iris West, she went home. [ without him, but that's implied by how his tone drops and then picks up quickly, almost like barry doesn't need to take a breath. ] Can someone bring me a brownie? I kind of ate all the ones I brought with me and all I've got is peanuts. [ he flicks a shell a little too fast, a very brief flash of gold sparking. ] And maybe a broom. I kind of made a mess. Sorry ...

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Someone's been hitting the bottles.

_{[Ah, they grow up so fast. One trip to the bar during a de-powered event and the next thing you know they're surrounded by empties, looking like the most miserable drunk (or the most sober-person-wishing-he-were-drunk kind of drunk) there ever was.

Anders remembers Iris. Friendly. Warm smile. A big brownie fan. For that reason, he doesn't tease Barry too hard about the trail of destruction he's left in the bar, or that glimpse of what looks like golden static shock, he just angles his head, offering a sympathetic look.]}

Sorry to hear Iris has left us.

[ he's been trying to make anders proud by hitting the bar, but barry knows it's useless. being powered up and his normal self means the buzz lingers for less than a hot second before it goes. he's never quite dealt with any sort of loss with alcohol, though. he runs from it. ]

[ he's tried that, and wonderland won't let him go anywhere save the pool. ]

[ his brow arches slightly at anders' words. it doesn't mean anders knows iris (she's all barry had ever really talked about non-stop during the hogwarts event), but barry's a csi, it's his job to comb through the evidence before him. he has a gut feeling about this one. ] You knew Iris?

_{[A nod. He hadn't known her known her, but they'd been acquainted.]}

We met. Small world and such.

_{[And people with an appreciation for sweets and small, fuzzy animals always seem to find each other eventually, like a law of nature or something.]}

She was a charmer. A girl like that, you don't forget.

_{[It's said in a platonic, offhand manner. He doesn't mean it in a sleazy way--Iris just has one of those attitudes that makes it difficult for someone to dislike her, kind and enthusiastic.]}

Yeah, you don't. [ it's said a little wistfully. ]

[ lost inside of his own head for a moment, wondering about the mortality of a timeline and a girl if he so much as goes back to the past and tries to fix it, he shakes his head and comes to. ]

She's my best friend, so I'm glad you guys met. [ he nods. then his face scrunches up as he continues, ] I hope you didn't tell her about BAMF?

She seemed the type to be going places. Too bad going places means pulling a vanishing act out of this joint--but at least she's in a better place. _{[A pause.]} Is she in a better place?

_{[Some people's worlds are pure mayhem, so this Anders might very well get acquainted with what his foot tastes like in his mouth shortly.]}

Oh, don't worry, mum's the word. I'm already under oath not to reveal club secrets on pain of death back home, keeping your moonlighting career a secret is a piece of cake. How are you holding up?

[ which question does he loathe more and thus want to avoid? is she in a better place, or how are you holding up? both of them are questions barry would very much like to not answer. ]

[ he can't be sure if she's in a better place. barry has to believe it — that iris west is back home with joe, on her porch, back inside with her family, and that nora allen gets to live and none of that changes. ]

[ but that's enough for now. ]

[ with his hand moving to scratch behind his neck, barry tries to focus on anything other than his discomfort. ] I'm not sick from all the brownies I've eaten yet. I guess that's good?

_{[Ah, deflection. Anders knows it well, employing it on the regular to nimbly side step most conversations when they seem like they're threatening to slip into serious waters. He can see clearly when someone else is doing the non-answer jig.

Given that, he doesn't press for an answer. Silence isn't the greatest sign where Iris' welfare is concerned, but still, he can only hope she's all right, wherever she is. It's all he can do from here, frustrating as it is to have his hands tied.]}

How many have you had so far?

_{[Seamlessly, Anders jumps on board the segue train, happy to keep things light if that's what Barry wants.]}

[ he glances up, fingers moving as he counts. truthfully, barry doesn't know. whenever he eats, he's learned not to count how many tarts, cupcakes, cakes, burgers, etc., he happens to consume. it's much easier that way, perhaps less horrifying for anyone who's watching at home. ]

[ but he pulls a number out of his head that seems reasonably normal and not quite as alarming as the true amount has to be. his fingers disappear as though he's pulling back his count when he says, ] Fiveish? [ which doesn't sound so convincing when he draws it out. ] Maybe six ... ish. Do peanuts count? And the donut I had earlier?

_{[You may need to recalibrate your definition of normal, friend.

But eating one's feelings is a benign display of despair compared to letting a demon possess you in the middle of your emotional breakdown and go on a bloody rampage in a small, enclosed tower. All things considered, Anders will take it.]}

And how's eating like your starving working out for you?

[ fortunately for wonderland, barry can't alter the timeline or else they'd be as fucked as a demon possession in the middle of an emotional breakdown. thank the white hare for small favours. ]

Pretty good! [ cheerily said, too, and with his mouth slightly full. sorry, anders. ]

[ the secret is: barry's always on the verge of being hungry. when he finishes up a slice of pizza, he's still got room for the next. trying to eat like a normal person is sometimes a lot harder than he ever remembers it being. being upset and not wanting to talk about it means he has a need to preoccupy his mouth, and that just makes him hungrier (but the type of hunger he's suffering from isn't an ache for food). ] Want some? I'm trying to see if Wonderland will run out.

_{[Keeping your inner angst fire lit requires a lot of fuel, Anders gets it. His just so happens to be an abundance of indignant anger instead of snack foods.]}

I thought we talked about eating the rest of us out of house and home.

_{[Gently chiding. But at the number of bottles littering the bar, maybe eating is the better distraction for Barry's hands in the long run.]}

Sure, why not? After all, I feel a tad responsible for your bar education after taking you the first time. Tavern tutoring in exchange for off-world lingo--that sounds fair.

_{[It's a way of saying without saying that if Barry wants the company, he'll be there.]}

[ unfortunately for them both, anders' teaching in which liquors are best and which ones give barry the ultimate buzz may actually be a once-in-a-lifetime experience. what he doesn't think to do is correct anders that that lesson will always be one-off unless wonderland decides to whip him back into being human without the meta. it's a nice offer; barry's not going to knock back getting to taste different things (especially when he can still enjoy the taste, even if it's not quite the experience) with someone whose company isn't quite replaceable. ]

I don't know if I have any acroynms for you, man. [ he scratches behind his head. the ones he has are brb and g2g, which are a little too depressing given he's always liked making the school of bamf one that's exciting and uplifting. ] But we can always pull a Coyote Ugly and dance on the bar if you don't have two left feet.

[ and to think the education ever stops. ]

_{[Anders plays along with the joke by smiling and waving his hand in a it's fine, it's fine way.]}

You've given me plenty already. We're all right to take a short hiatus, we can make up for it in the new term.

_{[While he takes the time he needs to adjust to what living here in Wonderland means minus a close friend from home, whatever that adjustment may look like. Doubtless that one will need to happen, though. Anders doesn't envy him that.]}

You forget, I've seen you try to run on carpet. I don't suppose Iris would appreciate it if I let you break your neck and lose a life because you slipped on a peanut shell.

I've gotten better at running on carpet.

[ because now, when he runs, it's within a flash! ]

[ he'll leave the puns to cisco. ]

[ but barry appreciates it, even though the mention of what iris may or may not appreciate makes him want to dig his heels deep into his own sadness. but he's never been the type to really do that, preferring to dig them right down into that stubborn, unrelenting ground of not giving off the impression he's not okay. ]

Barry Allen, lost a life via peanut. [ he shakes his head, like that's the most devastating thing in the world. ] Can we brainstorm over how to make me sound like a badass in death over peanuts? I figure they deserve a say in how they take me out.

Oh, I've got this one.

_{[His index finger goes up. Wait for it, wait for it...]}

I'll tell everyone you fought back bravely. When they ask for a description of the suspect, I'll say he was assaulted.

_{[A salted. Assaulted. Let that sink in. Savor it.]}

[ it only takes a second for the denseness around the joke to break away (thanks to his super quick ability to process everything). barry laughs. ]

I can't even be salty over that. I don't even want to hear the obituary you've written for me. I have a feeling it'll be way too sweet.

Good, because you aren't supposed to hear yours before the big day, anyway. Like a groom seeing the bride in her wedding dress before the wedding.

_{[Those two things... are nowhere near the same, Anders. But the light way he says the words suggests he either doesn't notice or doesn't care.]}

I'll meet you down there? I'll bring that broom.

[ barry thinks they go well perfectly together! he's discovering anders has a great sense of humour and pun game going on. it's exactly what the doctor ordered for the speedster — someone who's going to challenge him to process things quickly and discern the answer within seconds. ]

Dude, I'm wearing my best converse shoes. I'll save the best seat in the house for you. I'll even clean the peanut shells off it!

[ so yes, please come down, and know here comes the bride is the song that should be playing when he does. ]

You dressed up. I'm flattered. I'll put on a nice robe before I get there, that's only fair.

_{[He's still not sure what makes Converse shoes different from any other pair of shoes, but whatever keeps Barry smiling. Even a half-hearted smile that Barry doesn't feel is better than a frown.

Anders, for his part, fires off a crooked grin that kicks one side of his mouth higher than the other, giving it a mischievous cast.]}

See you in a flash.

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