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[Souji is, surprise surprise, in the di-- Actually, this time he's in the kitchen. For a change of pace. He's got the device propped up on something so that he can talk at it hands free. Sitting in front of him is a piece of the rainbowiest rainbow cake a person could possibly make.]

Today is my sixth anniversary.

[He nudges the cake a little toward the camera.]

So I made cake. There's plenty of it, so I'll leave it here in the kitchen in case any one wants to have some.

[With a smile that seems quite tired, he shifts the cake to one side, and glances after it. With his gaze still cast away from the camera, he asks:]

How long have you been here? Do you want to go home? [He looks back at the camera again, his expression more thoughtful than tired now.] I'm kind of...doubting myself in that regard.

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Six years? Is that longer than Evie or not quite as long? Have you been here second longest?

[Don't mind the fact that Dipper's clearly taking notes.]

It's been two years for me. I... [He frowns.] I wouldn't mind coming back, but I'd want to go home long enough to grow up. I'm kind of ready to be done with puberty.

I don't know for sure. I think we arrived right around the same time. But "person who's been here longest" isn't a title I strive toward.

[Nah, the notes don't bug him. He knows too many detectives for them to.]

I understand. I should be twenty-three, if we count Wonderland years.

[So he was seventeen when he got here. That's older than Dipper, old enough that, for him, Souji looks like an adult, but he knows that it still kind of counts as a kid.

Man, that sucks.]

Have you gone home at all since you got here?

[A shake of his head.]

Not once. I've been here the whole time.

Wow. [Dipper's been home twice, though it's been a while since his last trip. Six years without once going home....]

Do you think it makes things harder or easier? I mean, at least you don't, like, get teased with all the stuff you don't get to see at home.

That's true. [He smiles slightly.] But I'm not sure if it's good or bad.

[Going back would be a chance to see the people important to him. On the other hand, it would be exactly that; he'd end up back in Wonderland with what he didn't have fresher in his mind.]

I don't know either. [He glances down.] But I'd like it if it meant getting a little older.

I can understand that feeling. [He should be 23 for crying out loud.] On the other hand, if we aged here and went back home, we'd be out of place.

I guess. It all seems so pointless. Everything we do here just... goes away.

It doesn't go away for the people who are still here.

[He inherited a diner, for example.]

Doesn't it? How many people do you remember who vanished in your first or second year?

[He's only been here two years ago and already there are people who were very important to him once he barely thinks about now.]

[He takes a second to think.]

...A few. But I get what you mean.

[Though he'd have to admit his memory of them isn't as sharp as it used to be.]

[He sighs.]

I dunno, man. It blows. I guess all we can do is enjoy it while we're here. As much as we can, anyway.

That's pretty much been my motto.

[It didn't always work, but he tries.]

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