As I'm sure someone's told you, the mirrors are more like you're everything you never wanted to be, and your friends and family make you want to stab them in the head.

I shatter about one a month when they get on my last nerves with their little messages.

And if you're that hard up for drugs, ask the closet. It's not got a filter for our own safety, apparently.

Anyone mentioned the talking lizard that builds lakes? Oh! Headless is the Duchess. It still talks though.