❴ ＳＴＡＲＫ ❵ (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
revokes) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entranceway2017-10-03 09:47 pm
revokes) wrote in entranceway2017-10-03 09:47 pm
Entry tags:
- daredevil: frank castle,
- dc comics: cissie king-jones,
- dc comics: damian wayne,
- dc comics: jonathan kent,
- izombie: olivia moore,
- legends of tomorrow: ray palmer,
- legends of tomorrow: rip hunter,
- marvel: billy kaplan,
- marvel: natasha romanoff,
- marvel: sharon carter,
- marvel: teddy altman,
- marvel: tony stark,
- marvel: wanda maximoff,
- newsflesh: mahir gowda,
- rick and morty: rick,
- the adventure zone: taako tacco,
- the mummy: evelyn carnahan,
- the picture of dorian gray: dorian gray
（ ＭＡＲＫ Ｉ ； ＴＥＸＴ ）
ok but I'm assuming there's a welcoming committee? I'd just like to say that I haven't been introduced to the welcoming committee and also, I'm assuming there's a brochure somewhere, something along the lines of 'welcome to wonderland here are 101 ways to get high'?
didn't get that either.
so that said, i'm going to compile a list of every question you must have heard a thousand times before.
✘ this pocket universe is inspired by carrol's wonderland. duh. any signs of a portal? anything?
✘ are the mirrors creepy in a 1984 way or in a creepy-girls-WILL-climb-out-at-night way? super important.
✘ where are the EAT ME and DRINK ME stuff? because I had cookies three hours ago and I'm reporting no change in size. Where do I file a complaint?
✘ how many people's heads have been offed? is that a thing?
✘ is there really a high caterpillar? because meeting the guy's on my bucket list.
✘ HAVE all of the mansion's horses and all of its men tried to put Humpty together again?
also fyi if you see a guy in a flying suit of armor that's just me. don't shoot, it never ends well and also it gives me a serious electromagnetic headache.
didn't get that either.
so that said, i'm going to compile a list of every question you must have heard a thousand times before.
✘ this pocket universe is inspired by carrol's wonderland. duh. any signs of a portal? anything?
✘ are the mirrors creepy in a 1984 way or in a creepy-girls-WILL-climb-out-at-night way? super important.
✘ where are the EAT ME and DRINK ME stuff? because I had cookies three hours ago and I'm reporting no change in size. Where do I file a complaint?
✘ how many people's heads have been offed? is that a thing?
✘ is there really a high caterpillar? because meeting the guy's on my bucket list.
✘ HAVE all of the mansion's horses and all of its men tried to put Humpty together again?
also fyi if you see a guy in a flying suit of armor that's just me. don't shoot, it never ends well and also it gives me a serious electromagnetic headache.
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No portals as of yet. A happy marriage of both, actually, as they're the Queen of Hearts' means of enforcing her rule, but they also do come out of the mirrors. You probably need to be more specific with the closets, though they do like to mess with you on occasion. I've been here over a year and I've yet to see any actual executions, but the Duchess is separated from her head.
[Or she was, but Freya isn't up to date on that information yet.]
I haven't seen the caterpillar you're referring to, but I think it's safe to say that that is a mutual goal. And finally, I think you're mixing your genres a bit.
[A beat.]
I believe that's everything.
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Okay, no. I mean I get it but we really do need a brochure. The Queen of Hearts rules over the mirrors, the mirrors the creepy versions of us unless one of us is the sort of cackling-mirror and then their mirror might actually be nice. But the mirrors are portals between her world and this world, how about the portal that got us here?
also, I take offense to that, I am not mixing my genres.
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*Portals, yes, though none seem to be rabbit hole related and more related to certain events.
*Both. Although as I understand it the mirrors can't cross over without their Queen's permission and few are ready to defy her, so that helps mitigate things sometimes.
*If there's a complaint department, I've yet to find them.
*None so far as I'm aware but this place will find plenty of other ways to be dangerous so fret not.
*Again, have not seen.
*Being neither a man nor horse, I defer to those in either category on the matter.
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* because if they do, she goes OFF WITH THEIR HEADS? I mean if a mirror dies does that do something to the person on the other side?
* start one.
* but have YOU put humpty together again?
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And if there's one slim silver lining to Steve not being here anymore.]
Has telling people it's you in the suit ever actually stopped them from shooting at you?
[She thought about being gentler, but that would only make him suspicious.]
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it might just work out this time.
what do you go by here? I am NOT calling you natalie.
we should think of something less obvious.
how about Jane? I could go with Jane.
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[No, Bart isn't going to touch that checklist. This is more interesting.]
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I'll add that to the list.
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The welcoming committee are on strike. We do have a brochure in the entrance hall. It’s a three fold. Very fancy.
1. No portals. We have tried. It has failed....terrible results. Portals bad. Magic ones don’t work either.
2. More 1984 less The Ring. At least so far. They do raise the death count though.
3. Sometimes we do get food and drink that change us...I was once five years old again after eating cookies. Be wary of December.
4. Well we don’t have a queen screaming for beheading...nor do we have to paint roses red. So hey, a pro.
5. If you ask around the gardens the flowers might tell you. If you’re lucky.
6. We have no Kings here so no horses and no kings men...which I guess means no Humpty. Poor guy.
Don’t fly too high...
[ Welcome back to Wonderland Tony. Billy might have missed you...maybe. Sorta. Only a tiny amount. Help him fix the tech you left him!]
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2. how?
3. do we turn to elves? please say that some people turn to elves.
4. no beheading. queen's a lie.
5. that is a lie. you are lying.
too high? what's the recommended altitude?
[ he'll go above it because tony, but still. ]
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Don't build a portal.
[It's the only warning Tony Stark deserves, to be honest.]
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in the history of humankind, when someone tells someone else NOT to do something -
you know what, I'm not even going to complete the sentence. it's right there.
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People die here. Little fucking kids die here. Show a little goddam decency. [Dire, when Frank Castle is calling out someone's manners.
He's only picking and choosing the things he has something worth saying back. Though there is an 'eat me' insult in the back of his mind. ]
People shoot at you often? [He has to admit, he's tempted. Already.]
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[ he's an utter dick about trying to prevent said deaths but tony stark has never been anyone's favorite avenger. ]
Beheaded? just killed? the mirrors strange then in their sleep? I can keep guessing but a straight answer would help a lot.
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left is too kind a way to put it, really. ]
...A flying suit of armour.
[ oh child you do not want to consider the kind of visual she's got in mind just now. like a ruddy knight of the round table with wings. ]
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it's not a sentence, either. You have the subject, sure. but what about it?
do you need one?
are you one?
if #2 is correct, we should talk.
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I think all your questions were answered, right?
How do you fly?
I'm Superboy. One of two here.
Who are you?
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superboy.
seriously?
when you say boy do you mean ages 15 and up or?
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what color's the suit?
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[ look the question is unnecessary and so the answer must be, too. ]
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1) No portals. It's been reported we're pulled here by Wonderland's gravity, no idea how verifiable that is.
2) The mirrors will totally murder you if they cross over to this side but that happens to be rare and only allowable by the Queen. Allegedly.
3) I've honestly been looking for those less subtle Wonderland elements and they're a mystery. Haven't even seen any creepy cats.
4) No one's head has been chopped off that I know of but people do die like...all the time.
5) No caterpillar that I've seen.
6) Yes. Anything you can think of. Yes.
Best approach to being new I've seen since I showed up, 10/10.
digitalcopybrochure.jpeg
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2. so they only murder us when she says it's ok. that's very nice of her, she sounds like an all about well-rounded human being.
3. awkward. they didn't put too much thought into this place.
4. in what ways?
5. seriously, have they even read wonderland?
you know that looks like a menu of a vintage-style restaurant right? just putting it out there.
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That lsast one sousnds like a challenge.
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I shatter about one a month when they get on my last nerves with their little messages.
And if you're that hard up for drugs, ask the closet. It's not got a filter for our own safety, apparently.
Anyone mentioned the talking lizard that builds lakes? Oh! Headless is the Duchess. It still talks though.
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[ he doesn't really mind the video option. he is wearing his best suit, after all. ]
They write on the mirrors, right? the whole horror movie shtick.
[ must be tuesday. ]
Bill right? good guy.
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I'm guessing you already have all of the answers you're looking for?
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[ aka yes, the ones that mattered have mostly been answered. ]
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Go ahead and read it, then if you've still got questions someone else hasn't answered, ask away.
I have not seen or heard from the caterpillar the whole time I've been here, though. And I'm pretty sure you're mixing your children's books/fairy tales re: Humpty.
How do you treat an electromagnetic headache?
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humpty was also in alice. has no one but me read the looking glass?
whiskey.
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It seems you've just missed the EAT ME and DRINK ME adventures, although I've no doubt it will be long before Wonderland imposes some new insanity or other upon us.
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the shattered mirror? wishful thinking??
okay but have you changed sizes? I do not mean it as an inappropriate question, I'm honestly curious.
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Welcome to wonderland. There's your welcome. As for a brochure? [Sends an attachment through the device. Sure people telling you to go down stairs and get one, but tech is so much faster.]
There is no news on narcotics in it, but if you're looking to avoid a detox I'm sure the closest can provide you with a fix.
I assume the other questions have been answered but if not, a quick rundown.
One. No portals, just mirrors.
Two. Both. Possibly. I don't get the reference with the girl but your mirror opposite is behind any reflective surfaces and it can come out. I suppose your opposite can be a creepy girl if you are a full grown man?
Three. Try the tea rooms.
Four. No beheading. Plenty of death. Watch your back.
Five. Don't know about a caterpillar but I have seen a talking Lizard and a Raccoon.
And six. No Kings here, only Queens. There are horses in the stables though. Don't touch them.
With your questions answered, I have one for you.
Do you consider yourself more a hero or a villain? Flying suits don't really go to your average civilian.
Did you make your flying suit?
Do you rely mostly on rocket tech or an arrow dynamic design that lets wind currents do the bulk of the work?
Is it just shooting that gives electromagnetic headaches or does it act up underwater as well?
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Okay, I get the lizard reference. The raccoon one is lost on me. I'm pretty sure there wasn't a talking raccoon.
[ watch him ignore everything else since this is how tony's attention span works. ]
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Ugh. She needs a goddamn hobby.
Until she finds one, though, she doesn't feel like talking to him. She doesn't feel like seeing him. Wonderland is, in many ways, incomprehensively cruel. ]
The welcoming committee is working on something appropriate for you, I'm sure. There is a brochure, available in most places handouts are available. Evelyn O'Connell tries to keep them up to date and is the person to talk to if you want to know more details. I'm attaching one for your perusal. Attachment 1
01. None yet. We've had some scientific sorts looking into it, though. Leo Fitz is your best option for a follow-up, as most of the others have been sent home at various points.
02. Both. They can watch us and eavesdrop on our conversations, and occasionally cross over to make our lives hell.
03. I wouldn't bother filing as a complaint, as there is little evidence it would find a sympathetic ear. Have you discovered the magic closets yet, though?
04. None that I'm aware, though a lot of people die in a variety of ways, so I could simply be forgetting.
05. Not that anyone has seen, but I wouldn't rule it out.
06. Unfortunately, Humpty was unemployed when he fell, and his lack of insurance meant he received limited healthcare. You might not want to eat any eggs while you're here. Just to be safe.
So you're saying to shoot the guy in the flying suit of armor. Got it.
[ She can't not joke about that a little. He'd left the opening, after all. ]
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didn't they keep notes? anything?
re: closets, I did but come on, no narnia on the other side?
re: eggs: :)
[ look, what, this was a good comment. ]
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As for your questions.
1. There are no portals. We're simply trapped here for the forseeable future.
2. I'm not familiar with those works you mentioned, but imagine this; You have a doppelganger. They may not look or act exactly like you, but they are another version of you and they're always watching from the mirrors. The worst part is, you never know when they are going to come out of the mirror and replace you for a bit.
3. Last Halloween, we had candy scattered about that caused a variety of strange reactions when consumed, such as turning people into their costumes or making the decorations follow you around. Does that count?
4. If the Dutchess is not being counted, then no.
5. Funny you ask. The caterpillar is not in our cast of characters. You may see others on the network, though.
6. Humpty Dumpty is not here either.
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people ate candy that was scattered around. that must have seemed like a good idea at the time, I'm sure. totally logical.
okay but this is a really C- version of wonderland though? the caterpillar was the best part.
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Cause I sure as shit haven't met anybody here who'd earn that name.
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your world doesn't have a song about an egg that lived on the wall and cracked open?
can it be you don't scar your kids from a young age?
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2) Both, though typically only the former. The latter usually only takes place in the context of what's called an "event" here, unless one of the mirrors is feeling particularly rebellious against the powers that be.
3) I'm sure you'll find a suggestion box if you look hard enough.
4) The duchess has made numerous appearances with her head unattached, so apparently it is. It's thankfully much less common among the imprisoned population, however.
5) Your priorities are most impressive.
6) It's one of the great unsolved mysteries of this place, I hear.
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all of the time spent here and no one found the caterpillar. I don't even know what to say to that.
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While it has admittedly been some time since they last had Anthony Stark in residence, she is certain there are people who would welcome him. They disagreed on security protocols back then, but his conversation was always interesting when it wasn't hiding behind a thick veneer of charismatic carelessness.]
I'm certain someone has already sent you the pamphlet, though it serves as the most rudimentary of introductions.
Generally people come to the library for additional information.
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is that an invitation? I'll treat it like an invitation.
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[sassing him over text, this is fine.]
The welcoming group here doesn't put free mints on your pillow, either.
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hate to think what you'll put in my sock for Christmas.
[ hey, wanda. ]
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There's been two attempts as far as I'm aware of. The first portal ended up transporting everyone just outside the mansion, and the second one tore into the mirror side and caused the deaths of several of us here.
[So, you know, not great results, and that's just what happened with portals here.]
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what source of energy did they use? do we have notes about those two tries?
I mean, okay, they failed. casualties. I get it. but they did open a door. the wrong one but still.
[ is tony stark trying to become an optimist? ]
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Also, Cheshire Cat. That's what served as the welcoming committee when I got here. Be glad you missed out,
he's a crappy tour guide.
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does he speak in riddles? please say he speaks in riddles.
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