（ ＭＡＲＫ Ｉ ； ＴＥＸＴ ）

[revokes]

ok but I'm assuming there's a welcoming committee? I'd just like to say that I haven't been introduced to the welcoming committee and also, I'm assuming there's a brochure somewhere, something along the lines of 'welcome to wonderland here are 101 ways to get high'?

didn't get that either.

so that said, i'm going to compile a list of every question you must have heard a thousand times before.

✘ this pocket universe is inspired by carrol's wonderland. duh. any signs of a portal? anything?

✘ are the mirrors creepy in a 1984 way or in a creepy-girls-WILL-climb-out-at-night way? super important.

✘ where are the EAT ME and DRINK ME stuff? because I had cookies three hours ago and I'm reporting no change in size. Where do I file a complaint?

✘ how many people's heads have been offed? is that a thing?

✘ is there really a high caterpillar? because meeting the guy's on my bucket list.

✘ HAVE all of the mansion's horses and all of its men tried to put Humpty together again?


also fyi if you see a guy in a flying suit of armor that's just me. don't shoot, it never ends well and also it gives me a serious electromagnetic headache.

Comments

[scoutsniper]

Cute name. [He's heard rumors, but Hell's Kitchen had its own problems, even when he got back.


Shit. That was almost spooky. Nah, had to just be a turn of phrase.]

A cave would have been an improvement.

[revokes]

What I'm saying is, sound of Fury, the Avengers were a little busy, too. which means I was. You know, making sure people won't die so you won't have to swear 45 times a second?

[ ahem. ]

I'm not a team player, either. this is by no means me sharing a moment saying we need to work together. this is me saying we're not each others' first enemies here.

[scoutsniper]

Yeah. See, I'm supposed to believe you saved the goddam world from aliens, but the biggest problem you got in life is me saying 'fuck'.

[First world pains.]

And you don't get to decide that.

[revokes]

I don't mind your language.

[ god what does he look like, captain america? ]

I think it's a bit in excess. like a sixteen year old trying to make an impression. if you want to help, I do too. Maybe we should talk sometime.

[ not through these. ]

[scoutsniper]

Of course you do. Goddam fucking civilians.

[Shit, did he say that last part out loud? Yep. ]

We're talking right now. [Concrete thinker, here.]

[revokes]

Yes, lieutenant obvious, we are.

[ jesus christ why does he bother. ]

[scoutsniper]

[This guy. THIS GUY. ]

There a reason you want to face to face? [Because he has reasons not to.]

Thought you said you weren't into getting shot.

[revokes]

I thought you implied you have a functioning brain. higher order functions and all.

[ I mean why wouldn't you want to be tony stark's friend. ]

[scoutsniper]

I do. And they're giving me some goddam flashing warning signs right now about you.

[Like 'stranger danger' but with a higher probability of violence.] Give me a reason it's got to be in person. One.

[revokes]

I'd like to know what I'm being forced to work with.

[ simply as that. ]

[scoutsniper]

You don't have to worry about what I bring to the table.

[But at least that request? Demand. That was definitely not in the 'request' end of the spectrum. That demand made some damn sense. And honestly, if Frank would admit it, he felt the same. ]

Rifle range out by the beach. [What? he ain't gonna meet in the goddam tea room.]

[revokes]

that's romantic.

[ dry dry dry. ]

one hour.

[ he'll be late. ]

???action???

[scoutsniper]

[ He doesn't even bother to respond--this jerk seems to take anything you say and turn it against you. So, Frank's going to give him as little ammunition as possible.

And it doesn't matter if this idiot's late, because it's a rifle range. And Frank's got a gun to zero. He'll amuse himself. Because of course, like a good Marine, he got there 15 minutes prior. ]

[revokes]

Ok but how useful will our toys be here?

[ he means the weaponry, of course. his voice is coming from somewhere above. iron man makes an easy landing, lifts a hand and blasts one of the targets. the toys aren't the problem. ]

by tomorrow, you and I might find ourselves with nothing but hand-to-hand combat skills against a mansion filled with musical zombies.

[ yes he's making it up but it's not entirely unlikely. ]

[scoutsniper]

[ Frank gives an aggravated sigh. Is this some kind of speed record for getting on Frank's nerves? Possibly! ]

If that's your idea of hand-to-hand, you're not going to last very long.

[ Show off! ]

[revokes]

[ don't let it be said tony doesn't aim for high places. ]

easier than carrying that around.

[ don't make him blast you to the ground, frank. ]

so. how are you going to save wonderland? that's the OP here.

[scoutsniper]

Yeah? And what if this 'event' kills technology?

[What then? Oh god, he's almost hoping.]

Get to the Queen. Kill her.

[It's a simple plan. In theory.]

[revokes]

Then we box. Wouldn't be the first time.

[ ish.... ]

Queen could be a decoy. She's not the one getting stronger by eating our memories. that's a thing, apparently.

[scoutsniper]

Box. [He shakes his head.] You ever fight a real goddam fight, without the 'above the belt' shit rules?

[Your pretty boy face says no.]

She's still benefitting. And she has answers, if you're right.

[Which in his mind is a big 'if' because, well, you're you. And he hates you. ]

[revokes]

A few.

[ not the big ones, not the major ones. but iron man is tony and tony is iron man, suit or not. but the major battle, the one fought in the cave, the one who birthed the suit -

that one tony remembers every time he uses it. this is where iron man was born. out of ashes and weaknesses. ]

maybe. maybe she has answers.

[scoutsniper]

A few. Right. A few.
[That sounds like bullshit math, right there. ]

She has some. Maybe not all, but a damn sight more than we do right now.

[Don't mind him, he's just going to slap in another magazine, because clearly some dick swinging via high caliber firearms is called for right now. ]

[revokes]

She commands the mirrors. That's what she cares about. Wonderland exists because of our memories. The Queen is just a native with a flashy title. What about hello kitty? bill? they'd want us here as much as her. and they're on this side.

[ he blasts a few more targets, just for kicks. ]

[scoutsniper]

All right, genius. What's your better plan?

[He's listening. Sort of. But notice that some people can hit targets without destroying the actual target frame. You gonna rebuild that shit?]

[revokes]

Science, not strength.

[ which is perhaps surprising coming from tony. or perhaps not surprising at all. ]

This place is a pocket dimension. Every dimension has a way in and a way out. physics. if they hide one door, we can still create another.

[scoutsniper]

[The eyeroll may be a little heavy handed.] Fucking science.

[Not a fan.]

And you think you can do it without killing everyone here. [Because he does not believe this.]