RYUJI "FIZZ OR BUST" SAKAMOTO (
nomorules) wrote in
entranceway2017-10-11 02:15 pm
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Hey, Sakamoto Ryuji here.
I can't be the only one with ass kicking on the brain after that invisible dog bullshit. What's the consensus on fighting instructors around here? Did that turn out to be a thing?
If anyone's got the time show a few moves and still taking requests, I got one of my own. I'd appreciate a few tips if you feel like sharing. I'm talking about the badasses that know what they're doing, not just the make it up as you go kind (like me). Hate to say it, but the stuff we're facing in events is a little different from what I'm used to.
Dunno what I could trade for it, but I learn fast! And I'll think of something. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
PS: And if you're looking for Akira, don't worry. Nothing bad happened to him. He just went home. Sorry.
[The last bit is the real crux of the message and also the thorn in its side; bundling it in with the request lessens the sharp prick of it. Not by much, but some.]
I | Exercise facilities + outer grounds
II | Training center
III | Kitchen
IV | Wildcard
I can't be the only one with ass kicking on the brain after that invisible dog bullshit. What's the consensus on fighting instructors around here? Did that turn out to be a thing?
If anyone's got the time show a few moves and still taking requests, I got one of my own. I'd appreciate a few tips if you feel like sharing. I'm talking about the badasses that know what they're doing, not just the make it up as you go kind (like me). Hate to say it, but the stuff we're facing in events is a little different from what I'm used to.
Dunno what I could trade for it, but I learn fast! And I'll think of something. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
PS: And if you're looking for Akira, don't worry. Nothing bad happened to him. He just went home. Sorry.
[The last bit is the real crux of the message and also the thorn in its side; bundling it in with the request lessens the sharp prick of it. Not by much, but some.]
I | Exercise facilities + outer grounds
- [Anyone with an eye for blond phantom thieves can usually spot Ryuji adhering to a runner's training schedule, a carry-over from home. Indoors in the weight room, outdoors on the grounds, casual long distance jogs, short distance drills--he's at it most days, alternating between staving off boredom and building on his strength.
Usually time following an event are cool down days, a period to let himself recover from the trial of the week. Not this time. He keeps his foot jammed on the gas pedal with the restlessness energy of someone who has something he has to face but is taking every detour to avoid it. The request for some self-defense pointers had been practical--if the Tartarus event taught him anything (and the Asgard event before that, and the zombie event before that), he could use them--but it's also fuel for the avoidance fire.
Usually there's room for a chat in between squats on the beach or a friendly wave on a run, but don't take it personally if he seems a bit standoffish today. He's distracted, brows set in a flat line, viciously pouring energy into his routine with a nice, healthy contempt for the ground or the horizon, whatever he happens to be staring at.
If someone catches his eye, though, he'll forcibly relax, offering a smile. It comes a beat too late to be effortless, but that's hardly out of place, right? They've all been through a lot coming out the other side of the event meat grinder.]
II | Training center
- [Futaba. Morgana. Iwai. Yusuke. Ann. Makoto. Haru... Akira. How could he have thought this place felt small? With all of the people most familiar to him--people he'd shared the burden of events with, sat across the breakfast table with, lived with in the case of his two best friends--gone to fuck knows where, Wonderland feels infinitely massive and empty. He could handle this together. Alone, it's... it's hard. Harder than he imagined.
There's still Akechi, and isn't that the height of irony, to be the last man standing with Akechi Goro, out of everyone. He hesitates a while with phone in hand, Akechi's name in the To: field, but his hands aren't interested in sending more messages.
They want to make fists. They want to break.
Those in the training center will be privy to Ryuji, uncharacteristically stoic and grim-faced, slipping on a pair of gloves and squaring off with a punching bag with a frenetic violence to match. Either that punching bag insulted him, or someone didn't burn off quite enough energy climbing stairs in Tartarus.
The flurry is broken up only by a wince after a particularly hard punch. Peeling off his glove reveals a streak of red from split knuckles. Apparently someone also doesn't know when to quit.]
Fuck, that stings.
[Any gym rats handy with bandaids...? Alternatively, maybe you see him taking himself and his bloody hands for a walk to the clinic for something to wrap them with. He's probably not the only needing aftercare after that doozy of an event, even if his most recent war wounds are fresher.]
III | Kitchen
- [The thought of going back to his empty room in his empty section of hallway throbs worse than his bandaged knuckles. Suddenly it's like his first day in Wonderland all over again, not knowing what to do or where to park himself in a strange, unwelcoming environment.
He ends up in the kitchen, hungry but not really, searching the fridge and cupboards with a listless indecisiveness. He's probably standing in your way as you go to grab something--and will continue to stand in your way until prompted, or he notices you.]
--Oh, my bad.
[And he'll slide to the side to let you get to your business, smile apologetic.]
Go ahead, I ain't really lookin' at anythin'.
IV | Wildcard
- [Ryuji'll be going about business as usual in Wonderland post-event, so feel free to come up with your own starter around the mansion and/or elsewhere! Or hit me up for a different one if you're not feeling the locations/prompts.]
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It wasn't that he wasn't empathetic. How could he have gotten this far without being that way? He figured though with something like this, it was more like what battles he picked and when to strike. Maybe his timing's off.]
If I told you that you were right, would that make you feel better?
[His timing is probably very off.
He shouldn't say more since, of course, he supposedly can't keep his mouth shut. But here goes anyway.]
... You talk a lot for someone who thinks he knows how I feel.
[Minato would shrug right now if he were the type. He was unemotional, true, but he was far from emotionless, though with the even tone as if he were telling Ryuji that again the sky was blue, it was hard to tell.]
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If you're only sayin' it thinkin' it's what I'd want to hear, don't.
[Coffee, maybe. But sugarcoating is one he hasn't developed a taste for no matter how many times he's offered a sample. In his estimation, better an honest mess of tears and scraped knuckles and scratchy throats from yelling than quiet resignation and smothered feelings.]
I don't know how you feel. Because you don't seem to show it.
[He punctuates with a hard squeeze to the edge of the counter, a contrast in feeling too much that his hands don't know what to do with it all.]
I listened to a kid get attacked by a monster over the phone and--and all this shit keeps happenin', and you're askin' me why I can't just chill?
[He's not hardwired for it, to flip an internal switch and just not care.]
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Why do I have to show it? To prove that it's there or not?
[Just because it couldn't be seen didn't meant it didn't exist. It wasn't as black and white as it seemed to appear. He had his choices. He didn't want to reveal it for whatever reason it was. Or it might not exist at all either, depending. He didn't need to make a display of it either way.]
Things happen. Tell the robot what you're going to do about it.
[Especially here, here where the rules were different or didn't apply, where unpredictability is the only thing that's predictable.]
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[Ryuji wouldn't load his round and shoot off an unfair question like that were he in a calmer state of mind. Everybody cares. Everybody is aware of the degradation this place is exacting on them. Everybody feels it.
But he's not hearing it in this moment. What he hears is chilly in its apathy, and has his features stiffening in disbelief.]
"Things happen"? That's your answer?
[Are you fucking for real right now? The look says it all.]
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But he didn't see why he had to explain himself. Because words were just that, just words. If Ryuji hadn't seen him caring or hadn't interpreted it as caring, then that was on Ryuji, not on Minato. Not that Minato had been doing anything just for someone to pat him on the back or tell him he was doing a good job. He didn't have to report in or answer to anyone if he didn't want to.
He'd rather be a watch, gears and works just operating quietly and consistently, instead of ending up a ticking time bomb.]
I'm waiting for yours. Tell me more about what I'm doing wrong too, while you're at it.
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[Actions speak loudest of all, louder than words. But words still stand for themselves. Words that minimize, words that brush off--they still rub Ryuji the wrong way. Yet here he is, looking for something in all the wrong places and taking it out in all the wrong directions. That's on him. Maybe he hasn't learned his lesson after all.]
No one's doin' anythin', that's my damn answer. Not me, not you, not anyone--we're not doin' anythin' and this place is just takin' parts of us away, or just takin' us away, period.
[Ryuji drops his head, shaking it with an exasperation that sparks into action; he swings his arm back, fist connecting with the cupboard door behind him. It doesn't help. But then, he didn't expect it to.]
I don't know what to do, and I'm sick of it. But things don't just happen, I damn well know that much. It's doing it to us. Aren't you pissed off, too? Aren't you goin' crazy?
[Or is it only Ryuji who wants to beat the walls of his empty room, and came down here instead to beat the cupboards? Is he the crazy one?
How is he supposed to diffuse the bomb without Akira and the Thieves here to help him? Shit.]
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He understood why Ryuji was upset. Why wouldn't he be? Something and someone pissed him off and there was no real solution to fix it and make it all better, no panacea to heal it over, or not something easily within reach. Having a goal and working toward it was easier than shots in the dark.
But really, all they had right now were shots in the dark despite some of the supposed answers spilled during that non-memory based event. Nothing is ever easy, is it?
Not that Minato wasn't interested in the answers. He was, kept them in mind for later research. But maybe too it was a matter of how interested he was.]
Why do you think I'm not doing anything?
[What kind of person did Ryuji think he was?]
If you want to go home, you should be able to. Other people want to stay. Let them.
[In the end, it didn't even matter. No one was going to remember this place once they went home. And if they stayed long enough, no one was going to remember home either.
And for Minato? He's dead. There's nothing to remember.]
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Ryuji is made speechless for one scoffing, incredulous second, so much that he actually laughs. Laughs.]
What're you talkin' about? No one's stayin' here. Did you not get the memo, Arisato? This place is killin' people to suck their souls!
[It's got to go. Like the Metaverse in Ryuji's timeline--they have to find a way to destroy it for the greater good.
There's no doubt in his mind on that; it's the goal at the end of the darkness they have to flounder toward. Have to, no other options. Foolishly, he'd assumed someone who had a second shot at life and wanted to keep it would feel the same way.]
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He understood Ryuji's sentiment. He did. No one is supposed to be here, but here they are.]
Why do you get to choose who stays and who leaves?
[It was why Minato said it the way he did at all. He'd work to get anyone and everyone who wanted to leave to have the chance to go. And then anyone who chose to stay should get to stay. Why did it have to be all or nothing? Nothing is that black and white.]
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[If Wonderland's Core can't be made safe, there's no other choice to make, unless Minato considers letting Wonderland continue to feed on human life an option.]
It's just another Dark Hour or a Palace. We gotta stop it!
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[Like at this very moment? Should he be panicking or worried about it at the moment? Even handling the Dark Hour took a year and he had help then, more of an idea of how to handle it.]
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That's all you got for me? Yes, right now! Like, yesterday! And however many years' worth of effin' yesterdays there were before that!
[He comes forward to slap his hands down on a kitchen island between them, leaning in.]
C'mon, dude! Where's your anger? Where's you bein' ready to dish out some hurt? [He searches for it, seeking a hint of warmth to indicate Minato is sitting on a fire to mirror his own.] I was wrong to say what I said--I know you care. You can't honestly look me in the eye and say this is just how it is and it doesn't piss you off, too.
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He did look Ryuji in the eye as he spoke.]
Why should it? It is what it is.
[Why should it piss him off? It shouldn't. It hadn't. It didn't mean he wouldn't act when he needed it. He didn't have to get upset over whatever Wonderland was doing, the simple mechanics of it. He didn't have to get upset over the consequence or result of whatever Wonderland did either, though he would more likely react to the latter depending on what happened. There was a difference as to what he was reacting to.
Why did he have to be angry? Because being angry was the catalyst to make him act?
Was anger the motivation behind doing something about Wonderland? The two weren't necessarily linked at all.]
... What exactly do you want from me, Sakamoto?
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It's gone beyond a joke now, or a comment made in the heat of the moment.]
Does Wonderland have you brainwashed? What it is is killin' people! Kids. Your friends. I ain't jokin' around with you--how the fuck can you stand there and say that don't upset you?
[It rattles him, this lack of... well, anything. The lack of even a flicker of indignation or will to turn inevitability on its head and fight.
It is what it is? How many times is going to hear this shit parroted at him?]
How can you just shrug it off?
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That was probably the difference between them though. Ryuji was like fireworks, loud and brash, an explosion or conflagration, showy and fast. When anyone sees it, they immediately know what they're getting into and what they're up against. Minato was surprised that Ryuji's base power was electricity at all. But maybe it worked. He had sparks, and sometimes, just one spark can create an inferno.
Minato for his part was harder to pinpoint. He ended up the color of the ocean, of water, of still, forest pools, seemingly calm, tranquil, unmoving. But then again, it was so hard to tell just how deep the ocean ran, how much it contained, what exactly it held at all. And here Minato was, resembling the sea but his base element? He was made of fire.]
You must have a low opinion of me if you believe everything you're saying.
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[If Minato doesn't like being thought of as a cold bastard, then he can stop acting like one anytime.]
I put up with this hakuna matata crap because of what you said about your final battle at home, but seriously, man, enough already.
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You don't know me at all. Even after everything. And now, you're using my life against me.
[But what other ammo would Ryuji have to use? Minato handed him the weapons and then let himself become vulnerable. But Minato didn't mind, he supposed.]
What is it? You want me to be angry because you need someone to justify your own anger? And now you're upset that I'm not? What exactly are you upset about?
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He can't bear to finish the thought, but if Akira were here, he'd probably know how to talk to Minato. Akira has charm and malleability, able to fit himself into a shape people need, while Ryuji has passion and aggression. Two things which seem to only be sending Minato back behind his walls, not drawing him out.
If nothing else, he can rein in his own bruised feelings and try to lean a ladder against that wall. He thinks this is something the other needs to hear, they just so happened to get into it today of all days.]
I'm not usin' it against you. I'd never be more glad to eat my words. I'm just tryin'a to figure out how I can get that guy pumped up.
[A person can desire to be understood all they want, but unless they give there can be no real understanding. Minato needs to help him out.]
You and me, we ain't just anybody. We have Personas so that we can do things other people can't. You helped save your world when everythin' went to shit and you weren't sure it could be saved. That's what you told me--you stood up to frickin' Death! You made your own rules, you didn't lie back and play by 'em.
You keep askin' me what I want? That--I wanna hear that person. I want you to stop talkin' about Wonderland like everythin' that goes on here is outta our control. I want you to wanna change it like you did before--'cause I won't lie, man, if you give me one more fortune cookie line about goin' with the flow I might honestly lose it.
[FYI.]
And yeah, I guess that means I want you to be pissed? 'Cause if you ain't, Wonderland's already won.
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Repeating events from his life, throwing it back in his face right now? How was that not using his life, his past, his secrets against him? What gave Ryuji the right to hijack it, run away with it as if calling it his own, then use it to psychoanalyze him?
Minato wondered how he let Ryuji needle his way into his life like this, though he knew that he answered himself several times over that he let this happen to himself. This was why he should've known better.]
Why do I have to explain myself to you?
[Why? Ryuji didn't know what Minato has done or was doing in terms of "doing something" about Wonderland. The assumption that just because Minato wasn't angry meant that he was doing nothing was really so off the mark. Again, just because something wasn't visible didn't mean it did not exist. How close-minded.
And now what? He was being pressured now to show or prove himself? Why? Why does Minato have to be the one to raze his walls? Why does he have to be the one to relent and show all of his cards? It wasn't as if he had anything to fire back with. He didn't know everything or anything about Ryuji's past, his personal struggles, his brushes with danger, nothing.
Out of an ingrained defense mechanism because getting hurt too many times beyond what one can count is more than enough, Minato could build higher walls. He was good at that. Ryuji had gotten this far already, climbed over a wall, which meant that Minato just had to build even more walls to keep people out.
But he wouldn't since he knew better. Why he has to be the one to know better, he's not sure.]
It is what it is. Now. You make it seem like I can't believe it can be changed.
... You are so blinded and isolated by anger that it's Wonderland who has defeated you, not me.
[His lack of anger was a strategy, and actually, it made Minato smile. If Ryuji again couldn't just accept him for who he was or respect his way of bringing about change, if Ryuji couldn't stop being so hung up on his own assumptions about Minato, if Ryuji needed to be right, 100% right all the time ever, believing that his way was the right way, the only way, then this conversation was over.]
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[He spreads his heads imploringly. If Minato needs a personal invite to take part in the education of one Sakamoto Ryuji, then here it is, signed and sealed.
He's never advertised himself to be anything other than what he is--by his own estimation, an uncomplicated person. If his ideals seem untenable in their size and immovability, it's because they rest on solid, elementary building blocks. An internal compass pointing to what he believes is right and away from what he believes is wrong. An appreciation for late mornings, sunny days, the wind in his hair, and spending time with people he loves. It's not nuclear physics in here.
He doesn't need Minato to eke out an answer across thirty one volumes like the Konjaku Monogatari, and on that note more than willing to describe in depth what the taste of his foot is like, but he needs something. Something more than a basis of passive deflections and rhetorical runarounds. Something.
And something does come, sort of. It's sharpened to a point to draw blood, but he supposes he deserves that. If Minato's affronted he's been misunderstood, they can be mutually misunderstood together.]
Why didn't you just say that?
[The smile, so like a kid who's been difficult deciding now to throw out a breadcrumb, brings on exasperation.]
You coulda told me that earlier without jerkin' me around like an ass.
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[He didn't want to just say that. He didn't want to just tell him. It's not that easy. Too much explanation, too much making things so obvious verbally when there really was no need to waste the energy talking about something when he was already doing something. Simple. But even that was probably too complicated for Ryuji. Well, lesson learned again, though maybe Minato thought he should've known again.
Minato didn't let just anyone in or understand him. That part Minato understood of himself well enough, and only opened up when he felt comfortable. Safe. He had given information before because he felt safe, he felt like he could trust Ryuji to keep it to himself and be aware of it, and then here, he ended up treading in a space that made him want to close himself off and leave it at that. But no, he decided not to lay the last few bricks.
He still thinks Ryuji shouldn't get so worked up over someone else's feelings, but oh, well. To each their own.
Ryuji was just so... He's an excellent Chariot, but he'd make one hell of a Magician.]
Shithead, Sakamoto. [Not as ass.] First vampires, now this. Have you not met me?
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[Minato might well have gotten that impression without needing to be told, as instead of relenting, his lips thin over an expression winding tighter with displeasure.]
I've met you, all right, and I've been tryin'a to get on the same level since then! What's the big damn deal just sayin' what you mean? For cryin' out loud, if you don't wanna talk about somethin', just say that, it ain't hard.
How do ya expect someone to know when you're pullin' this kind of shit, huh? You don't wanna talk straight with me? Fine. But effin' around about this place ain't cool.
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Okay. You're right.
[However this conversation was going or had gone or wherever it was going, Minato was wrong, of course. Again. But he could be that for Ryuji since Ryuji's insisting. No problem at all.]
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... Are you tellin' me what you think I wanna hear?
[Breath, Ryuji. Breathe and find your happy place.]
You told me to keep you honest, remember? I can't really do that if you aren't bein' honest.
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You are. And I am. You think I'd lie to you?
[So Ryuji was right. Shouldn't he enjoy being right? Minato was only saying that he was.]
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