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[Souji's been feeling reflective lately, thinking over some things. It's elicited a question that he himself isn't sure he can answer. He wants to find out if others can, so, after some deliberation about whether or not it's a good idea, he takes to the network to ask.]

If you were able to change something in your life at home, what would it be?

[He's not sure he'll even get any answers. It's kind of a personal question. But he's hoping that some people will respond, if only to help him think through things himself.]

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What happened?

[It probably is better that she doesn't dwell on it, but she asked anyways.]

A lot of people went back to just after something terrible happened to them.

Oh.

[She'll think about that one for a moment.]

That's not good. I don't remember if anything terrible's happened to me, but I guess everyone else would.

I wonder if it might have made you remember, if it had affected you.

[Guess they'll never know!]

I'd probably just forget again.

[That sounds almost like wishful thinking though. It's not that she likes forgetting, but if it's something really bad, then maybe she should forget it?]

Is that how you want that to be?

I don't know. It can make things easier sometimes, but I'd like to be able to remember other things.

I think I can see what you mean. I feel like it would be really hard though. Frustrating.

It is. Or at least I think it is since I can't remember.

[She'll think about that one a little more.]

It's definitely frustrating.

I wonder if there's anyone here who could help with it.

If there is, I don't think I've met them. I've met a lot of really nice people, and some of them are really helpful with helping me manage things, or at least that's what my notes say, but no one who can actually help treat my amnesia.

Maybe someone will come someday who can.

[A beat.]

If there were someone, would you want their help?

[While she thinks about that, things get quiet on her end. Honestly, if it wasn't for the sound of pages turning, it'd sound like she left or hung up. But no, she's still here, thinking. She'd like for Matsuda to show up and treat her, but it's been over a year and he hasn't shown up in Wonderland, so she doesn't have much hope there. When she remembers to hope for it, anyway.

And even if he arrived or someone else could, there's a number of things in her notebook that she's just not sure about.]

Um...I don't know. I want to remember my friends and other things, but there's things I don't want to remember too.

Some things that weren't good?

[He so wants to know, because he's nosy, but he's also nice enough not to pry too much.]

Uh huh. Like some of the events.

[And other things, but she'll stick with that.]

I understand. They can be hard on people.

Yeah. Like the zombies, or the shadows, or that one with all the monsters.

[She could go on, she's got a whole list of them, but that's enough for now.]

I'm not sure I'd mind forgetting the zombie events....

Right? I know being as forgetful as I am is bad, but I wish everyone could forget things like that.

Getting to choose what to forget would make it a little easier.

[Though now that he's thinking about it, she might be similar to what they'd all end up being if they stayed in Wonderland for too long. A little like Alice.]

It would, but...and I know I said it, but um, if it happens again, we wouldn't remember either. Which might be bad.

[So maybe there should be some sort of balance somewhere.]

Yeah. You're right.

[Not remembering how to deal with zombies would be inconvenient, to say the least.]

There's no real easy answer to any of it.

...yeah.

[She'll think about that for a moment, and then...]

Um, if you do find someone who might be able to help, could you let me know? I might not see them or forget I talked to them.

Yeah, I will. I promise.

Thank you.

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eatsyourscience - 2018-03-14 03:09 (UTC) - Expand

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testcase - 2018-03-14 05:41 (UTC) - Expand

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