punful: (even the dimmest stars)
sans ([personal profile] punful) wrote in [community profile] entranceway 2018-04-16 12:38 am (UTC)

[action]

[It had been abrupt. And he'd always wondered about that, about if there was any sort of warning sign or bad feelings or anything before a person left Wonderland. How quickly or slowly it happened--did you feel yourself fading out of this reality, losing your memories, or was it quick?]

[It's instantaneous as far as he can tell. One second everything is fine, and the next second, his soul is in thirds.]

[Maybe there's something to be said for how--concrete it all is. There's no time for denial or any of the other carefully partitioned stages of loss, or whatever. It's just instant acceptance. Like noticing that the sun has set, or that it's raining. It's fact.]

[She's gone.]

[He only lets himself wonder if it's only temporary for a few minutes. For awhile after that, the only thought that circles around his head is that he expected it to hurt more. Emotionally, it's excruciating, exhausting--it feels exactly the same as it did when Papyrus left both times before, as the times Papyrus died.]

[Physically, it just feels like--absence. Like he's suddenly missing a limb. A whole third of who he is, gone. Like a hole. Which is nothing new.]

[There's always been a hole.]

[He sits in a daze for a few minutes before he gets up to go find Mettaton. He knows where he is. It's exactly where Sans would expect him to be--exactly where Sans wants to be right now.]

[He doesn't knock. He leans heavily against the doorframe, certain he's going to pass out soon. The stark emptiness of her room feels utterly, utterly wrong. There should be junk on the floor, anime posters and figurines. Small robots rolling around. Mew Mew is here, thankfully, looking confused and as lost as Sans feels. She approaches him with a questioning mewl and he stoops to pick her up. He almost doesn't manage to stand back up.]


had to see it for myself.

[Nail it home. Don't leave any room for false hope.]

[Hope is deadly.]

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