[video/action] I'm cosmopolitan and I don't look back

[hamburellakind]

[The video flips on. It's been a few hours since John picked up his copies of Cosmo, and he's still a little drunk. This might have something to do with how the camera isn't showing anything but you can still hear some vague boyish whimpers.]

Dave...? Dave?

[The volume suddenly increases! Or no, John's just shouting now.]

DAVE? HELP? HELP! DAVE!

[John needs help, apparently.]

Comments

[Action]

[urnewkingbitch]

[SLAM!!!!!!!!

That would be John's door bursting open as Dave kicks the door in, not even giving a fuck if he broke it.]

[action forever]

[hamburellakind]

[This would be John with his junk tied up with a shoelace and attached to a bedpost.]

Uhhh...

[At least he thought to put a blanket over his shame?]

Re: [action forever]

[urnewkingbitch]

[Dave stares at him.]

You screamed? And it wasn't a sexy way, either.

[hamburellakind]

[John flops his head back against the bed. With both legs splayed against the wall, straddling the bedpost, it's pretty clear something weird was going on.]

I'm stuck. [Hic.] And kinda drunk still.

[urnewkingbitch]

Okay, stuck how and who the fuck let you raid the alcohol cabinet? Does this have anythin' to do with your sudden sexual attraction to the bed post?

[He walks over to the bed.]

[hamburellakind]

The post can go fuck itself for all I care.

[He pouts, crossing his arms.]

We did a raid. It was fun. Now I'm just feeling stupid.

[He reaches with one arm, straining and whining as he snags the page of Cosmo where he got the idea and hands it over to Dave.]

Figured I should try some of this stuff.

1/3

[urnewkingbitch]

"We?"

[He takes it.]

2/3

[urnewkingbitch]

[This face.]

[urnewkingbitch]

You seriously did somethin' from Cosmo?

[hamburellakind]

[Confusion.]

Well, what was I supposed to do with them? They were everywhere!

[And you put them there!]

I mean, maybe I could've waited and done the nipples thing but I figured I should practice first!

[urnewkingbitch]

Uh-huh.

Do me a favor? Don't do anythin' Cosmo says you "should" do. It's complete shit. Now, what do you need help with?

[hamburellakind]

[Dave is the most confusing guy. Maybe this'll make sense once John's sober.

He lifts the blanket to show Dave the damage. Basically everything is looking red and painful.]

I tied it at a bad angle. I can't reach the knots.

[urnewkingbitch]

[He winces a little when he sees it.]

Jesus tits, John.

[Dave gets on the bed and examines it. He's not touching John's dick just yet, just wanting to assess what's been done and how to fix it with as little pain as possible.]

And what the fuck was tyin' your dick to the bed post supposed to do?

[hamburellakind]

"Tease and prolong his pleasure for as long as you want. Wink."

[urnewkingbitch]

...How is this teasin' and prolongin' pleasure when it looks like you should be in pain?

[Ignoring how awkward this is, Dave lifts the dick up to see where the hell those knots are and just how tight they are.]

[hamburellakind]

[John tries not to bust into tears.]

I...probably didn't do it right. Sorry.

[urnewkingbitch]

[Aw shit. He sidles over to hug the poor guy, running a hand through his hair.]

You could've asked me and I'd've given you somethin' more reliable than those porn magazines. Nothin' to apologize for, just don't do somethin' like this again. 'Fraid you might wreck your shit pretty bad.

[Video]

[aangairnomad]

John??? Are you okay???

[Aang is worried about his windy bro.]

[video forever]

[hamburellakind]

Um...

[John manages to get his comm up to his...faceandnothingelse.]

...Hi Aang. I'm cool. No worries!

[video forever]

[aangairnomad]

...Are you sure?

[Aang's eyes narrow in disbelief. John sounded pretty distraught...]

[hamburellakind]

I...am...okay in every single way.

[aangairnomad]

If you say so...

[He doesn't really believe him, but he drops the subject regardless.]

[hamburellakind]

How are you?

[Suspicious forced smile.]

[aangairnomad]

I'm doing better.

[He thinks for a moment, then brightens.]

You know, I could teach you some new airbending moves if you want? I know you're not a bender, but with your power over wind, I think you might be able to master a few moves.

[hamburellakind]

Uh, yeah! I bet I could do a lot ow. Uh. I mean, I could do a lot of stuff like airbenders can do!