entranceway | fourth bite | video / audio

[Insanity was something that Natasha dealt with relatively well.

She'd seen it before, in others. She'd faced it in her soul. It wasn't something that scared her, though she would always wonder whether or not she toed that line a little bit too closely. She'd been given hallucinogenics before. The gas should have been no problem (so she thinks).

Which was probably why she found herself locked in her room during the entirety of the last few days, unable to get out. Unable to help. Unable to send transmissions. Unable to get word to the Avengers. Helpless.

Unable to get to Clint. If that wasn't one hell of a guilt trip, what was? Which meant this, the first of the calls she was actually able to make... was going to be awkward.]

.. Hey. Are you .. all right?

[Go easy on her, she actually sounds a bit sheepish.]

[Some time later, she makes a general broadcast.]

Regarding what was .. that is, the .. events of the last few days. I'd like to check if everyone .. is all right. For some reason, my door was locked and I was trapped in my room - I wanted to help but ..

[Natalie Rushman swallows hard - calm demeanor replaced by a carefully crafted display of a shaken and confused young woman.]

I could hear the screaming and the shouting .. there were horrible things but, I couldn't get to anyone and I --

Is everyone.. all right?

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[Because he's a wreck and he feels a wreck and he doesn't want to talk to people. So, text.]

where were you?!

[She's in trouble. Big trouble.]

Locked in my room. This place's idea of a joke.

You didn't answer my question.

[She had tried to get out. Her hands were bruised and nails bleeding from how hard she'd tried to get to him. But that didn't change the fact she'd failed and now .. he was hurt. She hadn't been there.]

[She's not lying. At least, he doesn't think she is. Doesn't think she would. But his head's a mess, one way or another. He needed her and she wasn't there, and he's a damn mess.]

You really have to ask?

It's polite to ask.

I'm coming over.

[That's an order, Barton. You better be in your room and you better be decent (or something approaching it, though since it's her, it doesn't matter).]

Edited 2012-09-06 04:22 (UTC)

[This he sends only after a minute or two have passed, when she's likely halfway up the stairs already. He'd thought about it, about just letting her figure it out herself. But this didn't seem to warrant that.]

Try the rooftop.

Idiot.

[She's more than up the stairs and the response is immediate, as though she'd been expecting this. In fact, he'll hear the door behind him slide open, almost imperceptibly, then shut.

Natasha had never expected to find him in his room in the first place. She'd always planned to meet him on the rooftop.]

[He's perched there on the edge, just putting the communicator down by his side. Telling her where he was was his olive branch of the day. Clint doesn't turn to face her when he hears her approach, curled up and withdrawn into himself as he is. Staring down and away. In any city this would entail people-watching, but Wonderland is severely lacking in the crowds department.]

[She hesitates a moment, something he would notice but that would escape most anyone else. Then she's striding towards him, settling herself next to him on the edge, legs hanging out into the abyss, hips brushing against his hips.

Fine, she didn't expect him to spill. Settling herself back on her bruised and scabbed hands, she counted out three long, slow breaths, surveying the sights.]

Those were some last few days, even for us.

[He's still on edge, still paranoid and hyper aware of everything. Nearly, he asks if she counted those. He doesn't. Hesitates as well, then sighs, and feels like he's been holding his breath for a week. Still he doesn't lose much of his tension.]

...Yeah. Pretty glad for Banner not being here right about now.

[This is uncomfortable. But this is the kind of discomfort that she's used to - being here with him, unsure of whether he'll talk about it, unsure of whether she ought to push him.

Kicking herself because she was unable to be there for him.]

If I can go toe to toe with him, you can. Banner isn't so bad.

[Come on, humor? Why does it sound so strained, even to her?]

[It is strained, but it's the best he can manage at the moment. There's some selfdepreciation in here, too. He's feeling like the weakest link right about now.]

Thor and Banner both on a rampage? Not my league, not even on a good day.

[She's just .. going to nudge her shoulder against his. Just because. Because she's here and she's not entirely sure he's seeing her. But at least he's talking about it, sort of.]

It wasn't Thor. Not really. When he realizes what he's done..

[When she nudges him, he tenses, just short of flinching away. His eyes just stare down, down and ahead. When he shakes his head, he doesn't really know what he's disagreeing with. Or maybe he's trying to clear his thoughts? If only that did the trick.
Eventually, he leans against her, just a little. He doesn't know what to say, though.]

[She won't admit it, but that tensing hurts. It's her. But, that only flashes for half a second on her face before it's gone, buried with whatever else she feels about him this very moment.]

It's not your fault.

It's still in my head.

[And now his tone's more honest, quiet and tense. He glances over at her, and away again, not sure what else there is to say. It's still in his head, something cold clinging to the back of his mind somewhere. He'd thought he'd never have to deal with this again. Never have to think about it again.

Let alone relive it. It might not be his fault, but it still scares him more than he can say.]

[So it's that. She hesitates, taking a deep, semi-shaky breath. Perhaps she hadn't been locked in her room because she could deal with the gas. Perhaps she'd been locked in because deep down, she couldn't handle another claim on her mind. What with brainwashing, SHIELD, Bucky Barnes, all of that swirling around...]

I know.

[Maybe she knows better than anyone, even.]

That doesn't make you a weak person.

I know, I just...

[He trails off, not really knowing what else to say. Screws his eyes shut, trying to force his thoughts back into order. That can only do so much. His voice is quiet again, when he finds words to say.]

I thought it'd... I don't know. Leave. Get easier.

[Tentatively, he adds a question, because it's really not spoken of. Looks at her out of the corner of his eye.]

It doesn't, does it?

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