Dead Au John; Action [Backdated to the 19th]

[hamburellakind]

[John Crocker is in the midst of his 525,600th show, a milestone to be sure. His act may be old-fashioned, maybe even a little stale, but he has yet to grow tired of it, himself. In fact, he isn't necessarily aware he even...died...

Anyone who wants to watch a senile old man do Vaudeville acts is welcome to visit his stage. He'll be glad for an audience.]

Comments

[forsaintcecilia]

[When Kazuki realized his Ave Maria was never going to end, he left the school roof.]

[The halls were the same as always, aside from one thing-- they were empty. It caused him to sigh in longing. Seiso was nothing without it's students; without music! His memories were useless. He wanted to see his friends.]

[Kazuki wandered around for some time before he heard the noise of microphone feedback come from the auditorium. It piqued his curiosity immediately, and he went to look and see if anyone was inside.]

[hamburellakind]

--and that's why you never trust a duck with the bill!

[John gives a dorky laugh at his own joke.]

But seriously, there's always room for a mallard in my crew. In fact, when I was just a kid about yea-- oh!

[John spots an actual kid in the back of the seats and smiles broadly.]

Well, come on down! Take a seat, take a seat!

[forsaintcecilia]

Oh, um, yes sir!

[Kazuki quickly kips down the aisle to take an unobtrusive seat to the side. He has no idea what he's sitting down for, but it has to be some kind of show, right? This is a weird twist from his dream to take.]

[hamburellakind]

What's your name, son?

[John strokes his mustache thoughtfully, giving the kid a once over. Maybe he should light a pipe to establish authority. Or fill it with bubble solution to make bubbles.]

[forsaintcecilia]

[Everyone knows the best way to establish authority is a good punch in the snout!]

Oh, it's Kazuki Hihara!

[hamburellakind]

[John's punched snouts aplenty in his day.]

Nice to meet you, Kazuki! You got a funny name, but I like that in a man!

[Hehehehe. Moving on.]

So tell me, Kazuki. You got a favorite joke?

[forsaintcecilia]

[Kazuki hasn't. Please be gentle with him.]

Um...

[Ponder ponder.]

Oh! You see, I've got a friend, and he had his left arm and leg cut off...

[hamburellakind]

[John grins, he knows this one.]

Oh dear. How is he?

[forsaintcecilia]

[Kazuki also smiles as he's able to successfully deliver the punchline.]

Oh don't worry! He's all right now!

[hamburellakind]

Hehehe, that's a good one!

How's this one:

Why did the motorcycle stop moving?

[forsaintcecilia]

[He tilts his head in thought.]

Hmm... I dunno. Why?

[itsahotone]

[This tag sucks because the narration is about to topple over from tiredness, so. Santana is basically just...staring. In good old-fashioned WTF.

Carry on.]

[hamburellakind]

[John "Poppop" Crocker gives her a little wave.]

Hello there! Cat got your tongue or are you just in awe of my animal magnetism?

[Poppop strikes a pose. A sexual pose.]

[itsahotone]

[Dear lord the horror.]

What...just. What are you even doing? Who are you? Where the hell am I?

[hamburellakind]

I like to call it a comedy routine, though my audience might beg to differ.

[He gestures at the seats. They're empty. It's unclear if he's aware of this.]

As for who I am, I suppose I'm from before your time so you wouldn't have the faintest, am I right or am I right or am I right?

[Hehehehe.]

Name's John Crocker, my dear. The man, the myth, the bedhead. I mean, legend.

[He runs a hand through his hair, giving a mock frown.]

[Action forever] PARDON MY EXTREME LATENESS I NEVER SAW THIS POST UNTIL NOW DX

[urnewkingbitch]

[Yeah, Dave just kinda. Stumbles. Into the show. He glances around in mild curiosity, until his gaze fixes on the old man up front.

The teen freezes, trying to take in and process the sight of his best friend, his boyfriend, as an old man. His brain is insisting that his eyes take another look, but they stubbornly tell his brain that this is what he's seeing, dammit.]

John...?

:* it is ok

[hamburellakind]

[Alright, that kid is definitely not his demographic. He's too young. And cool. Or well, "cool".

He seems kinda familiar. Maybe one of his buddies' kids? Probably.]

That's my name, at least it was last time I checked my social security card. You know what number they gave me?

[Pause for effect.]

One. At least it's easy to remember, eh?

[Hehehehe.]

What's your name, kiddo?

[urnewkingbitch]

[Dave just. Stares at him.]

Holy shit, did that actually come outta your mouth? I can't even begin to word how lame that joke was.

[He hesitates and decides to play along for a bit, though it kinda hurts.]

Dave Strider. Cool kid extraordinaire.

[hamburellakind]

I see, I see. Guess you got a bit of lip on you, huh, Dave?

[John doesn't seem upset by this in the least.]

Do you like jokes, Dave?

[urnewkingbitch]

Family trait.

[He shrugs.]

Tasteful ones, sure. Won't say no to some good slapstick.

[hamburellakind]

Tell me your favorite, then.

[urnewkingbitch]

Favorite what?

[He is suspicious. :|]

[hamburellakind]

Type of cole slaw.

Joke, of course!

[urnewkingbitch]

I hate coleslaw, sorry to disappoint.

Don't really have a favorite joke, though.

[hamburellakind]

Really? Not a single one?

[John shakes his head.]

I don't believe it.