entranceway | 9th Book || Nothing Like Being Lost in a Book

Entry tags:

9th Book || Nothing Like Being Lost in a Book

[The video feed cuts on to show Aziraphale in his room. He is seated in an old, tartan wing back chair with the cheerful morning sunlight streaming in from a window. He smiles cheerfully.]

So, I hear we have a book club. This seems like something I would very much like to get involved in as back home I own a book shop and here I manage the library as best I can. If someone has any information on this book club, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, not officially. [He looks a bit guilty himself for having assumed the role without asking for anyone's input.]

So you're not gonna start charging for defaced books?

[He laughs with relief. Luke doesn't want to know how their Wonderland culture of excess and luxury would handle petty punishments.]

Y-you've defaced books? [No, he's not going to charge you, but he is going to affix you with a disappointed look.]

Is that wrong?

[Oh gosh, no, the weight of his guilt can’t handle this. Luke never knows what to do when authority figures look at him like this. He chew his lip ragged, then attempts to brush everything off with a smile.]

It doesn't matter. There's loads of books! I doubt anyone else would want to read these ones.

Are there other copies of those books?

I didn't check.

Do you want me to bring them back? Maybe someone can glue them back together.

[Not the bits he scribbled out and rewrote in thick marker. But then, Luke doesn't think anyone would want to change that. He only corrected the science. And why would anyone want a book that said something inaccurate?]

Might I ask which books they are?

Oh, loads. Loads. Um… [The video jolts as he does a quick sweep of his room which is, indeed, coveting a small library of books crushed under lamps and shoes and spanners]

Credibility Tests for Theoretical Creatures, The Book of the Still for Stranded Time Travellers, and… um… [He coughs and mutters as his camera falls on Nights of the Perfumed Tentacle, kicking that one out of the way.]

I skip the parts with actual tentacles. Not ‘cos I’m xenophobic! Personal reasons.

[His brow knits slightly. He is not familiar with any of those titles.]

If you can bring me replacement copies from your cupboard, I would appreciate it.

[This is the look of condescension and annoyance that's spared for old people and the grossly technologically inept.]

No way! I can't use my cupboard for something like that, sir. They're dangerous bits of alien technology. That's why I went to the library in the first place.

[Hey, how is he supposed to know these things?]

Alien technology?

[Don’t worry Aziraphale. Luke is literally the only person in Wonderland this paranoid about the closets.]

Yeah. Alien technology. What did you think they were?

Books? [Aziraphale is confused.]

[Which only confuses Luke in turn.] Don't you know what they are? I thought you were a librarian.

Of course I know what books are. I just don't understand how books are some sort of evil alien technology.

And I'm not really a librarian. I'm a bookshop owner.

I know. You said- [And here he starts reciting in Aziraphale's exact tone and inflection] 'back home I own a book shop and here I manage the library'. But I didn't say evil. I said dangerous. It's not the same. [Obviously, the most important clarification to make.]

Well then please tell me how they would be dangerous.

Closets. The closets are dangerous. Getting books from the closet is dangerous, because you don't know what it is you're really getting. Might not be a book at all, might just look like a book.

So far it has given me the books I requested, though perhaps not the editions I'd prefer...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only