entranceway | 9th Book || Nothing Like Being Lost in a Book

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9th Book || Nothing Like Being Lost in a Book

[The video feed cuts on to show Aziraphale in his room. He is seated in an old, tartan wing back chair with the cheerful morning sunlight streaming in from a window. He smiles cheerfully.]

So, I hear we have a book club. This seems like something I would very much like to get involved in as back home I own a book shop and here I manage the library as best I can. If someone has any information on this book club, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thank you.

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Try turning that flaming sword of yours on him? [Aziraphale isn't a violent type per se, but Crowley knows better than anyone else what Aziraphale can do when he's truly angry.] Maybe you could kill him, but I doubt it. The ranking is all pear-shaped where he's from; archangels aren't supposed to be that powerful. For all I know he could turn you into a column of ash before you even raise your sword arm.

[It's the sort of thing that has haunted his nightmares for months now.]

And then what? I have to come back. I have to come back and see what he's done to you.

[At some point Crowley started balling one hand into a fist and squeezing, digging his nails into his palm. The pain is at least keeping him from screaming.]

I'd probably do something stupid, like try to kill him myself. And around and around we go.

[Fear and frustration and worry and anger, everything just sort of overwhelms the angel. He can't possibly imagine what he would do were Crowley to be killed, murdered by Michael for likely no good reason. His mind if literally incapable of such a feat.

But one thing he knows for certain, this world gives them extra chances at life. He thinks, maybe he could bide his time until Crowley revives. But i that what he would do? He just doesn't know.]

[The silence gives Crowley time, time enough to start getting himself back under control, time enough to actually look at the angel and see the effect his words are having. Aziraphale's likely been thinking much the same things lately, but has he thought about them in such concrete terms?]

[Crowley doesn't know, but Aziraphale just looks so...overwhelmed. Lost. He's seen that look before and he hates it.]

[One hand is still in a fist and starting to go numb. He steps forward and reaches out with his other hand, laying it on the side of Aziraphale's face and then moving it to the back of his neck. He presses his forehead to the angel's.]

I just...can't lose you again. [His voice is barely a whisper.]

[His voice is weak, taking all his willpower to not fall apart under the weight of his heart and the ache of the idea of Crowley's loss.] I can't lose you either.

So...stay away from him. [He unclenches his fist finally, not noticing that it's bleeding a little.] Please?

[He nods for a moment before he spots the blood. A wave of guilt passes through him as he takes the injured hand gingerly in his own and starts to heal it. Look at what he's made Crowley do. He's a terrible angel.]

[Crowley blinks in mild surprise at the abrupt pain and touch of divinity.] Oh. I--sorry, I--didn't even notice...

You don't need to apologize. This is my fault.

No, it's not. [He flexes his fingers.] I just--I've been tense is all. Thinking about all this.

Crowley, we will get through this, but... Please don't keep things like this from me. We can get through it together but trying... I get a little mad when I can tell something's wrong and I don't know what it is.

[Mulishly,] Because I knew you'd go mad if you heard what Michael had done.

How could I not?

Just don't seek him out, Aziraphale. Seriously. It's just a few feathers. Not worth it.

I won't seek him out. But you cannot fault me if our paths cross.

So long as you don't say or do anything stupid.

I won't try to.

Aziraphale--

I won't. But sometimes it's difficult to determine just what would be considered a stupid thing to say to that being.

[He stares at Aziraphale a moment longer and then snorts, relaxing just slightly.] Well. That's true enough. Hence why it's best not to talk to him at all.

I'm not going to be rude, dear.

[He bristles again.] How is it rude to generally avoid the archangel who clearly wants to kill me? How is rudeness even a thing that you think about compared to that?

Crowley... [He frowns.] I'm not going to simply ignore him if he tries to start a conversation with me. I don't want to give him more reasons to attack us than he already has and being rude would be a reason.

You don't need to kowtow to him. You're a Principality.

Which they do not seem to have in their world, from what I've learned. He's the big fish over there. They don't have Principalities. And if you'll remember, our Michael is the general of His armies. He is not an angel to be rude to. That is not kowtowing, it is common sense.

[He falls silent. Aziraphale is right. Of course he's right. Crowley rubs at his shoulder absently, feeling the ache of his wing in his bones.]

We shouldn't have to play by his rules...Wonderland is supposed to be...I don't know. Neutral ground.

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