Yeah, I'm--I'm not texting you, buttercup. You're gonna have to listen to the sound of my amazing voice while I read yours. Hope that's cool. If not, too bad.

Ohhh, yeah, I knew I was forgetting something! Can't forget the bitching and moaning about Oh, Whatever-Bandit-God-I-Worship, why have you forsaken me! How could you let this haaaaaaappen? Ehh? Nailed it.