entranceway | 02 [accidental video]

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02 [accidental video]

[There's no warning what's going on before the video starts, just a flash of bright light and violent motion as the recording device shoots across the room and bounces off a wall, landing to give a tilted view of Jowan's room. It's not a particularly interesting room, nearly as stark and empty as they all start out when claimed, although it does now feature a small fire burning merrily in the corner. Not in a fireplace, which is probably why it's starting to spread quite alarmingly, but it definitely brightens the place up.

It's also probably the reason why Jowan is panicking just a little.] That wasn't supposed to happen!

[He stands at the edge of what the device is recording of the room and looks largely uncertain, glancing around the room for an idea of what to do before swallowing hard and taking a step forward, brow furrowing as he extends his hands and frost leaves his fingertips. The flames crackle loudly at the ice and Jowan closes his eyes, pushing more power into the spell until a sheet of ice surges forward suddenly, dousing the flames and leaving a good chunk of the room covered in ice. But at least there's no fire any more, right?]

I don't understand what went wrong! It shouldn't be this difficult. [He wanders over to nudge the ice with a toe and sigh heavily.] Why does this always end up happening to me?

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[He did and he regrets it after Anders comes down on him hard in response, realising too late that it was probably out of line, but the response makes him feel angry and a bit justified in return, and he instinctively frowns and folds his arms, preparing for an argument.]

Oh right, because when the Regent of Ferelden tells you that someone's a traitor to the crown and that he needs someone with your skills to remove the threat quietly, you're supposed to just what? Ignore that? Tell him to shove it? This is Teyrn Loghain we're talking about! I thought I was helping Ferelden and proving I could be trusted!

[Honestly, he's still not entirely certain that Loghain isn't right after all. He hasn't heard anything that would suggest that the man would lie, and it's just Jowan's concern that the Arl of Redcliffe didn't seem like a bad man that had stayed his hand. He doesn't feel like Anders will care much for that either way however, and especially not with that question.]

Of course it surprises me! Uldred was a senior enchanter, I thought he'd know what he was doing! I... I didn't think that the blood magic was right. I only tried it once in the Circle but it felt wrong immediately. That's why I didn't speak to him again about it and tried to put it all behind me. [He hesitates, guilt twisting at his gut.] I should have told someone about it, but... Uldred was a senior enchanter, and I was just an apprentice. No one would have believed me, and I'd have had to admit that I'd done blood magic as well. And then Lily found out that they were going to make me Tranquil anyway, so I thought that... it would be better if we left.

But I should have stayed, shouldn't I? If I'd stayed and tried to tell someone about Uldred, maybe it wouldn't have happened. And I wouldn't have hurt Lily either.

A man in a political position who needs dirty work done and an apostate mage who makes the perfect scapegoat. I can't imagine why he would've singled you out. Can you think of any reason?

_{[The edge is less prominent in his voice, but his eyes them upward like he's about to roll them and can't quite commit to doing it.

In the past, Anders had found himself wondering if Jowan was really as helpless as he seemed or merely pretending to be as a way of protecting himself. Every time they speak, Anders gets closer to believing it's the former. No one acting the part would lay the gullibility on this thick.

It's almost worse this way, that he believes Jowan when he says he hadn't guessed Uldred's machinations. That Jowan had blundered his way into bad decisions without ill intent behind it. It hits too close to home after what people have been telling him regarding Justice and the half-formed plan to do something meaningful with his help. How does he turn this guilt train around now that it's careening off a cliff?]}

Better for your sake that you did leave. Uldred was smart; a guy like that would have found a way to pin it on you and probably have gotten away with it anyway. There's nothing to be done about it now.

_{[Tragedies happen every day. If they get hung up on each and every one of them, they'd never get out of bed.]}

The point is, Uldred was only after power and he didn't care who he had to sacrifice to get it. With a little practice and elbow grease, you can do better than that.

[Jowan's all ready to get angry in return to Anders' sarcasm, but it's almost like the other mage's heart isn't in it and as he continues, the edge leaves his voice entirely and he feels a touch awkward for his anger and what he'd said. It probably hadn't been the nicest thing to dredge up, he can admit, and as Anders finishes and picks at the edge of the pool for a moment, thinking of what to say.]

Thank you, Anders. [He says at last, looking at the other man again and deciding simplicity is probably safest.] I'm sorry, about what I said. I wasn't in Redcliffe's dungeon for nearly as long and it was terrible, I shouldn't have brought it up like that.

Do you really think I could be good at something with practise?

_{[Perhaps the two of them should make a pact not to talk about their time in the Circle. Or out of the Circle. Or anything personal, really. It could get ugly if they ever fell into a real heated argument. Fellow Circle mages understand the same hardships and share the same injustices, which also means they know the weak chinks in armor, the places to hit to bruise the flesh beneath.

Anders isn't in the mood to open that can of worms by acknowledging the comparison had brushed against such a place. They'd both done it; they can both leave it well enough alone.

He considers Jowan's down-turned head, but by the time the other mage looks up, Anders has put on a blithe smile that contains no small amount of cockiness.]}

You're sucking up because I'm the best spirit healer here. You can admit it, it's okay.

_{[Better for the both of them to get back to what they'd been talking about--the magic.]}

Anyone can. That's why it's called practice. And it should be easier without the First Enchanter and the templars breathing down your neck.

[The offer of something like friendship surprises him, but Jowan finds himself smiling a bit anyway, a large part of him still craving friendships that he hasn't had in what feels like too long after his escape from the Circle.]

Aren't you the only spirit healer here? [He points out, a hint of teasing in his voice.] Or is Wynne hiding around here as well?

...actually, I take that back. She'd be cross with me I'm certain and with her and Cullen it would be a lot like the Circle after all.

Am I? _{[He knows it's likely so, but he pretends otherwise.]} Huh! Your options are looking slim.

_{[But please, no to Wynne being in a prison with him again. Nice woman, terrible nag. An older Cullen hailing from a time in the not-so-distant future where apparently everything goes to shit is quite enough.]}

You don't do yourself enough credit. I bet she'd be impressed at how quickly you can douse a fire these days.

Douse it and encase half a wall in ice. [Jowan adds, lip quirking just a little. While he's still a bit sensitive to any suggestion that he might be being made fun of, he is trying to relax more as Anders had said.]

Are you sure you'd even want to try teaching me? You don't need to come up with a reason if you'd rather not. Cullen didn't want me to talk to you about it for some reason so he'd probably be annoyed that I asked anyway.

_{[Anders doesn't have to make fun of him when Jowan is making fun of himself. His work here is done.]}

Chalk it up to due diligence. Would've been a shame to let the fire burn that lovely wallpaper.

_{[The room doesn't even seem to have much by the way of decorative wall decor, in truth, but that doesn't prevent Anders from making the joke. Another offhand Cullen existed remark tempts Anders into telling Jowan to stuff it once and for all--seriously, can Jowan be a selfish arse like everyone else and think about himself instead of the templars for once?--before the actual meaning behind the words processes.]}

... That so?

_{[So Cullen had known Jowan was looking for mentorship and hadn't wanted Anders to find out about it? That decides it. It doesn't matter if he thinks he'd be a good teacher or if he has little interest in being Jowan's babysitter, Cullen thinks he wouldn't be a good match--and that means now he has to.]}

Cullen doesn't think it's a good idea so that's enough for me. I'm in! We can work on a few spells.

_{[Thanks for your endorsement, Cullen.]}

[It might have occurred to Jowan already that Anders, clearly against most of what Cullen seemed to think, might be inclined to help just to be contrary. But even if he felt a little bad for the slight manipulation (even if it's probably obvious), Anders is a healer and healing is something Jowan would like to learn. If anything it's stranger that Cullen wouldn't want him to learn what he could from the other man.

Besides, while he mightn't always see eye-to-eye with Anders, he does appreciate what the other mage knows and can offer, and would like to get along with him, so he brightens visibly at the offer.]

Really? Thank you! But... maybe I should try outside next time?

I suppose I ought to pitch in when us Thedosians are so few and far between. We're the only ones who really understand what goes into developing magical ability. How hard can it be?

_{[Anders' self-interest warns him those are famous last words. But Jowan needs to practice somehow, that much is clear. If he's being honest, he can relate to feeling out of control and not knowing where to turn to.

Somewhere Justice is feeling smug. Look, he's helping his fellow mage, are you happy now?]}

That's probably a good idea if you plan on letting loose with your mana like that again. _{[RIP, garden. Jowan might soon burn you to a crisp.]} Get a hold of me once you're done cleaning up and we can meet. We can start from the beginning.

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02 [accidental video]

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