[audio]

[theothermrgray]

[Excuse the random audio post, but Dorian has something he needs to get off of his chest.]

Well... It seems my birthday is approaching once more.

[He hesitantly sighs.] It's very strange. Before I came to Wonderland, I was sure that at least three weeks had passed...

[Since the incident with one of his old friends. He dare not speak of it, not on the network, but the guilt is trickling back and he needs some excuse to feel it in front of all these perfect strangers. Anything.]

... I don't know. Should I ignore it this year or celebrate it twice? And if I do celebrate, how?

[OOC: Possible content warning for gore. Dorian won't bring it up himself, but he's going to be thinking about it.]

Comments

[theothermrgray]

[Ugh, don't remind him of getting older. He's never going to look older anyway, with or without Wonderland's help.]

Thank you for the sentiment-

[What did she say about Lucifer?]

... Wait. Did you say the Devil himself is here?

[agentxthirteen]

He claims he's the Devil. And it's very important that it's the, and not just any random devil. He takes it personally. [ There's a hint of amusement in her voice. She might have had fun discovering that. And doing it several times. ]

Whether he's insane or not, he certainly enjoys having a good time, so it would be a good place to start.

Oh. And he loves puns.

[theothermrgray]

[Oh, so this guy might be a simple lunatic? It might not be that much of a stretch, but in Wonderland...]

I always assumed Old Scratch had a sense of humor in him. Tell me, is he still trading his services for human souls? [Because if he is, Dorian's lack of a soul would greatly disappoint him.]

[agentxthirteen]

[ He can't see it, but her eyebrow goes up. ] Old Scratch? I don't think I've heard that one before.

He didn't make an offer on my soul, so I can't say if he isn't into that anymore or if he just doesn't think my soul is worth much. But who knows? Maybe you'll have better luck.

[theothermrgray]

[He smirks.] It's a fun one.

I doubt it, but what do we know? We mortals are regrettably terrible at judging our own souls.

[agentxthirteen]

Is that a common way to refer to him where you're from?

I know some people who have tried to sell their souls for concert tickets. The Devil didn't take them up on their offer, either. Maybe I should ask Lucifer what his rate is...

[theothermrgray]

It is.

Hm... Concert tickets, you say? Madame, you only have one soul to sell. It would be a shame to waste such a rare and personal item on something that would mean close to nothing in the grand scheme of things.

If I were in the Devil's shoes, I'd offer more valuable, intangible things in exchange for a soul. Things like eternal life, superhuman abilities, or infinite knowledge... But like I said, I'm only human.

[A human who may know a thing or two about Faustian contracts.]

[agentxthirteen]

Hey, I'd rather barter for a really good gun. [ And maybe a few other things, if she were ever fool enough to make a deal with the freaking devil. ]

I wouldn't want Lucifer to think I'm getting greedy. I've seen how touchy he gets when someone calls him "a" devil.

[ If she were a lesser person, she would dare him to upset Lucifer on purpose. But she's too good for it, damn it. ]

Be sure to ask Lucifer how much his drinks cost. You wouldn't want to lose your soul over an appletini.

[theothermrgray]

[Nod, nod.]

Where exactly is his club, by the by?

[He actually wants to meet the Devil now. Look at what you've done.]

[agentxthirteen]

On the sixth floor. Room 66. You know. In case you couldn't figure out he's the devil.

[ Hey, it could be worse. She could be setting him up for all sorts of mischief. She'd needled the devil - gently - and had lived. And she didn't get the impression that Lucifer was as evil as her world's literature would have her believe. Which is admittedly weird. But that's Wonderland for you. ]

Maybe he'll do something special for your birthday.

[theothermrgray]

Ah, the number of the beast. That should be easy enough to remember.

[She has no idea what sort of mischief he'd be up for.]

Perhaps he might.

[agentxthirteen]

[ She smiles a little. ] Just don't let him stamp it on your forehead. I hear that's when bad things happen.

[theothermrgray]

Yes, and it would look rather silly.

[The devil symbolism thing is giving him ideas, though. Stop it.]

[agentxthirteen]

A necklace would probably be better. [ Her face is completely straight. If it weren't for the very faintly mischievous tone, it would seem as if she were completely serious. But she gets it. And that's what matters! ]

[theothermrgray]

Oh, yes. Something more reasonable.

[He pauses to think about it for a second.]

Perhaps it could have a serpent wrapped around a forbidden fruit? The imagery would make for a visually stunning pendant.

[I SAID QUIT GIVING HIM IDEAS!]

[agentxthirteen]

[ Is she giving him ideas? She's really just thinking out loud. Really. That's all. If he's getting ideas, she can't very well be blamed for that. ]

I'm almost certain the closet can make one for you. Magic and all that.

[theothermrgray]

Can it now? One moment, please.

[He wanders offscreen to toy with his closet for a moment.]

[agentxthirteen]

[ Sharon doesn't begrudge him; she'd be curious, too. Instead, she patiently waits for him to come back, tapping her fingers against her desk for a few seconds before pulling a book on political systems in the Middle East closer so she can read it while she waits. ]

[theothermrgray]

[He returns soon enough.]

I'm back. Apparently you have to be very specific with what you want from the closets, or else you get something that doesn't make sense. Like this:

[He holds the resulting charm up to the screen. It's a strange looking fruit that has a snake wrapped around it like a Christmas present. Thank god the snake is only silver, otherwise the bow it's tied into would have been very painful.]

If this is meant to be some surreal joke, I am not amused.

[agentxthirteen]

[ She takes one look at the horrible charm he's found and quickly ducks out of frame so he can't see her laugh. He might be able to hear the choked sounds of her trying to suppress the laughter, though. ]

Uh... [ She takes her place in front of the feed again, looking more-or-less composed. ] Have you tried being more specific?

If that's as good as it gets, I'm sure Lucifer will appreciate the thought... [ She tries not to smile. Tries and tries and tries. ]

[theothermrgray]

[He can hear her.]

I have. It didn't help. [He is not showing you any of his other attempts. Some of them are inappropriate for this situation and others are just embarrassing.]

Or... I should just buy him a drink first. I could be completely wrong about his tastes.

[agentxthirteen]

[ OH CAN HE? What a shame!

She nods, still trying not to laugh. ]

Yeah, that would probably be the best idea. Booze up the devil.