14th side; dead au yousuke; action

[masukukunai]

Why...

[He wanders, bruised and battered, glasses cracked and skewed. White eyes peeled in wide, unflinching terror. Stumbling and staggering through fractured worlds that he barely registers, just trying to move forward, just trying to get away.]

Why...!

[He falls to his knees, and after a few faltering tries, doesn't bother to get back up.]

We were, we were... It was supposed to be over! He was the one, and we took care of it, when no-one else would, and...

[A sob chokes, whithers and dies in his throat. The sound is unbearable, like an animal slowly bleeding out.]

It wasn't supposed to end like this...

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[eatsyourscience]

[Souji has been wandering around, exploring. It's what he does. And when the area looks familiar, he goes in deeper, bringing a low, lingering fog with him.

He hears Yousuke's sobbing and recognizes his voice, making him break into a jog until he reaches him. He crouches down immediately.]

Yousuke...?

[masukukunai]

[When the first traces of fog begin to curl along the floor, Yousuke tightens himself into a ball and presses himself up against the nearest wall as firmly as he can, closing his eyes and praying under his breath to be released from this hell.]

You're not here. [He insists, and holds his hands over his ears too. This isn't the first time Souji's phantom has haunted him. He won't even look up. It will only hurt more.] You're not here! Leave me alone!

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji gently puts his hands over Yousuke's to try and draw them away from his ears.]

I'm real.

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke shakes his head, and in trying so hard not to move, he begins to tremble.]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji gives up on that. He looks at Yousuke, taking in his injuries, then rises and summons Ishtar to heal him. That's the best proof he can offer.]

[masukukunai]

[When Souji takes his hands away, Yousuke imagines the clean cut of a blade, cleaving him in two. That would be good. It would be quick, and he would barely feel it, and...]

[And...?]

[This sensation is so familiar. And comforting. The soothing coolness of wounds closing and bruises fading away. He hadn't felt it since the last time they were in the tv world. That had been so long ago.]

[With all the caution and fear of a cornered rat, he opens one eye, and then the other, looking up.]

...Partner?

[eatsyourscience]

It's me.

[Souji looks back at Yousuke, taking in his blank, colorless eyes, and thinks it's better than yellow.]

[masukukunai]

[There's a pause. Then slowly, carefully, he reaches a hand up to touch Souji's cheek. The distance from hand to face seems to take forever to cross, but it does. It's solid and warm, giving just a little under his fingers, like skin should.]

[He pulls his hand back like he's been burned. Yousuke scrambles back on all fours until his head crashes with an audible bang against the nearest wall.]

N-no! This can't be happening!

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji stays where he is, not following Yousuke yet.]

Tell me what did happen.

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke blinks at Souji in confusion.]

What do you mean? You were there...

[eatsyourscience]

I wasn't. Not the me who's in front of you.

[masukukunai]

[It takes time for this to process through his mind to the point that he can respond intelligently. Really, push comes to shove, and above all, his nearly programmed desire to believe in and follow orders from Souji overcomes everything else.]

The shadows, they came in through the tvs... They attacked and killed everyone.

[Other thoughts boil in his brain and fight in his throat, gleaming in his eyes. There was more. There was worse. The need to let them be known and his desire to never think or feel anything about them ever again crash so hard he feels desperately, physically ill.]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji moves closer to him, his eyes a little wider, but his expression otherwise inscrutable.]

We didn't defeat Ameno-Segiri?

[masukukunai]

Ameno?

[Yousuke shakes his head.]

No. Sometime in December, after Nanako-chan died, there was a lot of fog. For a really long time. One day it all cleared out, and...

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji tenses. "After Nanako died"?

His mind races. They had thought Nanako was dead briefly, but she had miraculously revived. Had something happened that changed the outcome? What could it have been? Had she died inside the TV world with Namatame or--

Namatame.

It was after they had confronted Namatame that Nanako had recovered. So did that mean--]

Yousuke. What about Adachi?

[If they hadn't let Namatame live, they would never have identified Adachi as the culprit and they wouldn't have ever confronted Ameno-Segiri and found out the nature of the fog. They also would never have been led to Izanami.]

[masukukunai]

Adachi...?

[For a moment, the name doesn't even register. The annoying underling that went around with Dojima and had a knack for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was nothing but a vaguely unpleasant and unimportant memory now. What could Souji mean by this?]

I don't know. I guess he's dead too, by now.

[eatsyourscience]

[Well. Now Souji has an idea of what had been at stake when they confronted Namatame in the hospital.]

...Okay.

[He's silent and still for a moment, then moves closer and hugs Yousuke.]

It's okay now.

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke goes rigid. His breath quickens; his hands begin to freeze and tremble.]

No.

[Tears roll out of his unblinking eyes.]

No. No. You're dead. I saw you die.

[eatsyourscience]

That's okay.

[Souji strokes Yousuke's hair.]

For right now, I'm here.

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke shakes his head hard enough to throw off Souji's hand. He's making horrible, strangled sounds as he tries to stuff how badly he wants to wail out in anguish down his throat. It causes him to shake and curl in on himself.]

It-- It was my fault... He wasn't the one, was he? That's why you're here now. And I was the one that did it-- It was my fault...!

[eatsyourscience]

It isn't your fault.

[masukukunai]

[He bites his lip, and the noises try desperately to escape. He's hardly breathing in an unconscious attempt to try and silence himself.]

[What was happening? He knew all of his friends were dead. He even had images of some of them dying in his memories. Why was he here? Had they saved him? Did he run away? It had to be his fault. It had to be.]

Why am I here?

[The words are barely a whisper, hardly even a breath.]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji's guessed by now why Yousuke's here and he's quiet for a moment, considering how to say it or whether he should say it at all.

But he has to. He won't lie to Yousuke. So he lets out a breath slowly before speaking.]

You're dead, too.

[masukukunai]

[...Oh.]

[Dead. He should be upset about that, shouldn't he? On a basic level he is. You know, no longer living. But knowing that he's dead when everyone else is too is a strange relief. He's also paid the price for whatever mistake that was made. He hadn't been left behind, and he hadn't left anyone behind either.]

[But they're dead. In the end, no one was a hero. Their efforts were fruitless. And everyone was victim.]

[He takes a deep breath, and begins to cry.]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji holds him and strokes his hair. After a few moments, he speaks again.]

There were timelines in which we won.