14th side; dead au yousuke; action

[masukukunai]

Why...

[He wanders, bruised and battered, glasses cracked and skewed. White eyes peeled in wide, unflinching terror. Stumbling and staggering through fractured worlds that he barely registers, just trying to move forward, just trying to get away.]

Why...!

[He falls to his knees, and after a few faltering tries, doesn't bother to get back up.]

We were, we were... It was supposed to be over! He was the one, and we took care of it, when no-one else would, and...

[A sob chokes, whithers and dies in his throat. The sound is unbearable, like an animal slowly bleeding out.]

It wasn't supposed to end like this...

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[masukukunai]

[Yousuke blinks at Souji in confusion.]

What do you mean? You were there...

[eatsyourscience]

I wasn't. Not the me who's in front of you.

[masukukunai]

[It takes time for this to process through his mind to the point that he can respond intelligently. Really, push comes to shove, and above all, his nearly programmed desire to believe in and follow orders from Souji overcomes everything else.]

The shadows, they came in through the tvs... They attacked and killed everyone.

[Other thoughts boil in his brain and fight in his throat, gleaming in his eyes. There was more. There was worse. The need to let them be known and his desire to never think or feel anything about them ever again crash so hard he feels desperately, physically ill.]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji moves closer to him, his eyes a little wider, but his expression otherwise inscrutable.]

We didn't defeat Ameno-Segiri?

[masukukunai]

Ameno?

[Yousuke shakes his head.]

No. Sometime in December, after Nanako-chan died, there was a lot of fog. For a really long time. One day it all cleared out, and...

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji tenses. "After Nanako died"?

His mind races. They had thought Nanako was dead briefly, but she had miraculously revived. Had something happened that changed the outcome? What could it have been? Had she died inside the TV world with Namatame or--

Namatame.

It was after they had confronted Namatame that Nanako had recovered. So did that mean--]

Yousuke. What about Adachi?

[If they hadn't let Namatame live, they would never have identified Adachi as the culprit and they wouldn't have ever confronted Ameno-Segiri and found out the nature of the fog. They also would never have been led to Izanami.]

[masukukunai]

Adachi...?

[For a moment, the name doesn't even register. The annoying underling that went around with Dojima and had a knack for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. He was nothing but a vaguely unpleasant and unimportant memory now. What could Souji mean by this?]

I don't know. I guess he's dead too, by now.

[eatsyourscience]

[Well. Now Souji has an idea of what had been at stake when they confronted Namatame in the hospital.]

...Okay.

[He's silent and still for a moment, then moves closer and hugs Yousuke.]

It's okay now.

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke goes rigid. His breath quickens; his hands begin to freeze and tremble.]

No.

[Tears roll out of his unblinking eyes.]

No. No. You're dead. I saw you die.

[eatsyourscience]

That's okay.

[Souji strokes Yousuke's hair.]

For right now, I'm here.

[masukukunai]

[Yousuke shakes his head hard enough to throw off Souji's hand. He's making horrible, strangled sounds as he tries to stuff how badly he wants to wail out in anguish down his throat. It causes him to shake and curl in on himself.]

It-- It was my fault... He wasn't the one, was he? That's why you're here now. And I was the one that did it-- It was my fault...!

[eatsyourscience]

It isn't your fault.

[masukukunai]

[He bites his lip, and the noises try desperately to escape. He's hardly breathing in an unconscious attempt to try and silence himself.]

[What was happening? He knew all of his friends were dead. He even had images of some of them dying in his memories. Why was he here? Had they saved him? Did he run away? It had to be his fault. It had to be.]

Why am I here?

[The words are barely a whisper, hardly even a breath.]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji's guessed by now why Yousuke's here and he's quiet for a moment, considering how to say it or whether he should say it at all.

But he has to. He won't lie to Yousuke. So he lets out a breath slowly before speaking.]

You're dead, too.

[masukukunai]

[...Oh.]

[Dead. He should be upset about that, shouldn't he? On a basic level he is. You know, no longer living. But knowing that he's dead when everyone else is too is a strange relief. He's also paid the price for whatever mistake that was made. He hadn't been left behind, and he hadn't left anyone behind either.]

[But they're dead. In the end, no one was a hero. Their efforts were fruitless. And everyone was victim.]

[He takes a deep breath, and begins to cry.]

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji holds him and strokes his hair. After a few moments, he speaks again.]

There were timelines in which we won.

[masukukunai]

[He leans into Souji like a man truly exhausted, and just cries. The closure is immense. With time, the painful noises die down, and it's just his shuddering breathing and unbroken tears left.]

[It takes him some time to regain the composure to respond.]

...timelines?

[eatsyourscience]

Versions of our world where things were different.

[masukukunai]

And everyone's okay?

[eatsyourscience]

Yeah. Everyone came through okay.

[masukukunai]

[He wonders for a brief moment, then why am I here? But it feels like a needless question. This is just how things are.]

[He closes his eyes.]

That's good.

[eatsyourscience]

[Souji puts his hand on top of Yousuke's head.]

It might not give you much hope now. [But it's something.]

[masukukunai]

[He shakes his head.]

There's something wrong here, right? [It's taking all of his strength to articulate, but he can grasp it. Slowly he works through the words like his tongue is wrapped in cotton.] You're not dead.

[eatsyourscience]

No, I'm not.

[He doesn't really get what's happening either, but he doesn't think it's that important, honestly. It's just part of the event. Be that as it may, this Yousuke is here and so is he. That's all he needs to know.]

[masukukunai]

Then you'll take care of this? So I can leave?

[As far as he knows, he's been here for an eternity. Trapped in this single space of memory. He just wanted to be where he belonged, even if the outcome wasn't what they worked for. He trusted they'd still all be together in the end.]