swift hardhearted stone ღ anon text/action/one not so anon text at the end

[endingpoint]

t e x t
[ Jane doesn't want to potentially upset anyone, not when she knows there are so many people in Wonderland who are eager to go home, or don't want to be stuck here while slowly losing their memories. She's one of them. That's why she's anonymous. But she still wonders something, and it's been coming up a lot more. The only way to know if other people wonder the same things is to ask, right? ]

I've been wondering: people get upset about being here for a long time and losing all of their memories of home, eventually. Does anyone know exactly how long that takes?

Also, is there a specific reason why it matters?

(Other than the big thing, losing yourself, which I get is a huge deal.) But, in theory, even if you forget everything while you're here, as soon as you're home, you remember again. Who you are, where you're from. It all comes back and then it's Wonderland and all the people here you've connected with that you forget.

Right?

I guess I was just wondering if people are as passionate about the ones who would be stuck here in their wake, as they are about the people they miss at home that don't even know they're gone. I can tell you I don't know where I fall half the time.

[ No one's particularly missing her at home, so. ]

a c t i o n

[ It never feels like there's a specific place Jane wants to go in Wonderland when she's restless. Most of the time she finds herself wandering if she has no tattoo appointments, or tucked away somewhere sketching. For today, there's a little bit of browsing in the library (she picks up classic novels this time around plus two cookbooks) before she tucks herself in the main entrance of the mansion with her sketchbook after finding a comfortable, oversized chair. She'd thought to sketch the grand doors and the view from the windows, but instead, her mind has something else in store. The memory she has is fuzzy, but she's sure the person she's sketching is her brother. He has a scar, the same as the boy she remembered months and months ago, and the same as the man in the photo she received in her stocking. It gives her hope that she has a family out there somewhere, even if she doesn't know his name.

When she's done, she goes to the dining room and pulls out one of the cookbooks, flipping to random pages with food that seems worth trying. As she notes what looks good, the dishes appear in front of her until she has a full meal with ample portion sizes. Which prompts a (non-anon this time) text once again, hours apart from her original message with an image attached: ]

Anyone wanna come help me eat this food? Dining room. BYO fork.

Comments

text;

[circlejerked]

Depends on how comfortable you are with a mysterious outside power crawling around in your head. Do you trust Wonderland to hold onto your memories and return them safe and sound when you go, just like that?

If you can't trust people not to steal your shorts when you leave them in a locker at the pool, I don't know how safe it is to trust a dimension that literally gobbles up memories.

_{[He has some opinions about this, but then again, Anders has opinions about everything.]}

Whether you stay or go, you're losing a set of memories. Not the best deal for us.

anon text;

[endingpoint]

Has anyone ever left and come back and said their memories weren't right?

I mean, maybe they'd have no way of knowing whether they were or not. But, good point.

I don't know how I should feel about being here most days. But I feel like people who are eager to leave have never thought about the people who will remember them and don't want them to go.

[circlejerked]

I've known people whose memories I wanted to say were wrong. When a bunch of people can remember a single event a bunch of different ways, accuracy does get a tad murky.

_{[See: the entire Thedas crew.]}

To play devil's advocate, isn't it selfish to want someone to stay in a place they're in danger, though?

_{[Anders has a personal bias. The last time he'd had a choice to stay or go, he'd left--and he'd known exactly who he was leaving behind, and what he was leaving them to. He still doesn't regret it.]}

[endingpoint]

I never said either way was a perfect solution. Of course it's selfish.

But also, if the events are any indication, everyone's lives are in danger in most places people are from.

[circlejerked]

It's normal to want to keep people close. I'm no different--I've met people from different places and times I wish I could guarantee I'd see again. But I can live knowing they're free and where they belong.

My world's not the greatest, but generally speaking there's more room to run from danger there than what we've got between a fence, an ocean, and a death forest.

If the place people are going back to is worse than this, that's another story.

anon

[endingpoint]

That's an entirely other thing that seems unfair. Take people out of terrible places, give them food, shelter, relative security. And then dump them back to suffer or die or worse without any warning.

[ That's a cruel joke, not a reprieve. ]

[circlejerked]

Wonderland does seem to enjoy its karmic slaps in the face.

_{[And having met people who'd been in just the situation Jane describes, without basic necessities and in a terrible state of living, he knows exactly what she means. Say what you will about being an apostate--he'd still manage to eke out a livlihood even on his worst day.]}

As it stands, whatever power controls Wonderland decides who stays and who goes. If we could figure out how to take the reins, it's possible we could stop people from ending up this place's yo-yo.

I realize that's a big 'if' and getting bigger by the day.

[endingpoint]

Do you think that if - and I know we're talking about big 'ifs' - we can take control, we could have better control over who comes and goes? How long we stay? When we leave?

[circlejerked]

I don't see why not! Why should Wonderland have all the fun?

I'm not giving up on the chance we could throw a spanner in the works and figure out how this portaling between worlds works. Then people could stay or theoretically go wherever they want. Earth sounds like a fascinating place, maybe I'll visit a version of it one day.

[endingpoint]

I really want to figure out how this place chooses us. If it's really random or if it's more controlled than we think.

Also, Earth is massive. A lot of people never see more than just a certain section of where they're from.

[circlejerked]

Is that what you believe, that we were chosen for Wonderland duty?

_{[It must be a damn good reason in the case of those people who are back once, twice, three times or more, their memories wiped each time. Or else Wonderland just has its favorites.]}

Is it where you call home? What's the best place for an off-world tourist to visit? I should start taking notes. I don't plan on Wonderland being the last view I lay eyes on.

[endingpoint]

I think it's not a coincidence that everyone here has at least one horrible memory they could inflict on all of us at any given time.

[ Not on purpose, of course. ]

Earth is home for me. And I honestly have no idea what the 'best' is because I haven't seen it all. And I'm probably biased toward my city. It's one of the busiest.

[circlejerked]

I'd wager everyone has at least one of those. You could make a case that one time you botched a school presentation and never lived it down is pretty horrible.

_{[He could get behind a tame event like that. A shame Wonderland seems enthralled by the most high-octane, stress-inducing trials by fire their brains can cook up.]}

Big, busy cities have character. What about it do you miss? Or is it bad enough there to make Wonderland seem homey in comparison?

[endingpoint]

The city itself isn't bad, my experience has been interesting. But I miss the noise. There's always something happened, and not necessarily bad things.

It's always lit up, there are always people on the street. And people sell food any time, all the time.

[circlejerked]

Unless we're talking cannibals and acid rain, I suppose we all harbor some homesickness.

What do you think about Wonderland recreating food from home? I find there's something missing when I get the same recipes in the dining room. It's not quite like the real thing. Maybe because I know it's made with magic.

[endingpoint]

I don't think I've ever thought about it, really. I just like food.

[ But now she's thinking about it, and she tries to decide if there's something less appealing about it knowing no one made it. ]

Is it really that different from going somewhere and ordering food someone else makes for you? I mean, you never see that person, usually. You just ask for it and the food comes.

[ She does understand what he's saying, though. There's (probably) no hidden chef behind the mirrors of Wonderland cooking up food. ]

[circlejerked]

You must be a foodie by the sounds of that.

It's probably my imagination. Sometimes this place bends so many rules, it feels more like a dream than reality. In the end I'd rather wake up and know for sure every action will have its natural consequence.

But the relationships we make here--those are real. They'd be hard for anyone to let go of.

[endingpoint]

Maybe an up and coming foodie. I wouldn't call myself one just yet, though.

I guess Wonderland does us all a favor by ripping off the band-aid and sending people off with no warning. There's no time for someone to realize they're about to forget and the people left behind have to move on.

[circlejerked]

Still getting used to the perks of the dining room and all that instant food?

_{[Could be Miss Anon is recently arrived and ruminating about what it all means, hence the post. Wouldn't be the first time. Anders has been there.]}

I guess so. Having advance notice and being unable to do anything is worse. Are you worried you might be the one to go, or the one to stay?

[endingpoint]

Something like that. It never occurred to me I could ask for literally anything I wanted.

[ His question makes her pause a little, unsure of a yes or no answer. ]

...Both? I think it's both, if that can be my answer.

[circlejerked]

Nature-defying wish-fulfillment does take some getting used to.

_{[Items spontaneously appear in closets. Really, what's with that? The kitten debacle of 2016 is still fresh in Anders' mind.]}

I think it'd be stranger if you didn't have reservations. I'm not giving up on the hope there's a way to keep both sets of memories and make a choice when the time comes.

_{[He doesn't see staying here as a solution, but other people have other reasons. They all deserve the freedom to choose.}

[endingpoint]

You mean a choice to stay or a choice to leave? What if once you make that choice you can never change your mind? If you leave, there's never any coming back, and if you stay, you can never go back home?

[circlejerked]

I try not to think in absolutes, it gives me headaches.

I know a girl who can rip open the fabric of reality and create holes to other dimensions. I have to think travel like that is an ability or a technology. It can be learned. Used for what we want it to do.

[endingpoint]

That's an intense thing to be able to do.

So the hope is we can learn, maybe. How to get to other dimensions away from here ourselves?

[circlejerked]

It's just as intense to see it, I can promise you. I nearly wet myself the first time.

_{[Elizabeth creating a hole into Puppy Land had taken some of the sting of an impending existential crisis out of it, he'll say that much. But he feels his point stands--that a door swings both ways.]}

Seems within the realm of possibility. If we could cross into Wonderland, we could theoretically cross into other places.

_{[Some residents already make it look easy--why not think they could do the same?]}