entranceway | one; audio {with bitter words, that's how the boy talks.}

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one; audio {with bitter words, that's how the boy talks.}

[Jason woke up inside the mansion, gave it all a cursory look-through, and promptly noped the hell on out of there. Ain’t nobody got time for this Wonderland theme park bullshit - especially not the Red Hood.

Of the available options, the forest seemed like the best way out, so that’s where Jason is now, trampling through the brush, snapping twigs underfoot as he mutters his complaints into the comm device:]

This would be going a lot easier if there had been any vehicles worth taking …

[The sounds of movement stop, and Jason sighs loudly. He is Officially Lost, and he wasn’t in the best mood to begin with, so he’s understandably a little tense in addressing whoever might be listening.]

All right, this is officially stupid, and I don’t have time for stupid. Got much bigger fish to fry, so I’ll get right to the point. Whose head do I have to stuff in a duffel bag to get a map of the way out of here? Tick tock, losers, answer fast – Daddy doesn’t like being kept waiting.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Maybe I'm just friendly. [With her sunglasses, he wouldn't see her eye roll anyway but it's amazing how clear it still manages to be.] I am a journalist, so a lot of people would say the second. But mostly it's just nice to know who I'm talking to. Or are you from a world where "Hey you" is the accepted form of address?

[Oh, one of those. Well, the nosiness makes sense, at least.]

"Hey you"'s plenty effective at getting your point across. Besides, once people know your name they seem to think they can start asking you to do stuff for 'em, and who's got time for that?

Wow, you must have a ton of friends.

Just the one. Not much of a talker. [Because it's a damn gargoyle.] Works out well for both of us.

[There's a pause, then:]

...is that a reference to something?

... No?

[Jason was, for once, being entirely serious; his best friend as a kid was an actual stone gargoyle. His life has always kind of sucked.]

What did you think I meant?

You said it like you were making an inside joke, and it wasn't one I got, which makes sense since we've known each other for all of five minutes. So you were either making a reference or being deliberately obtuse.

Well, if I've known you for a whole five minutes, clearly that means you should be in the know for all of my inside jokes.

That is precisely the point I was making. Are you going to actually tell me your name or not?

John Doe. [So ... no, then.] You gonna stop asking? I can't help it if my parents weren't all that creative at picking baby names.

If it weren't already obvious you were new, that would give you away. [Her voice hardens.] I never stop.

[... Good to know. Jason makes a mental note, filing Georgia under the heading of stubborn and nosy as hell.]

Well, I hope you're used to disappointment, 'cause my answer isn't gonna change.

I didn't really think it would. Good thing I don't intend to let that stop me.

What're you gonna do, tie me up and torture me until I give you a different answer?

Not really her style. She's just going to pester the hell out of you.

[Dryly:] Thanks, Shaun. [If Jason listens closely he may hear the sound of an elbow colliding with someone's ribs.

Why are there so many people here who think torture is a remotely reliable way to get answers?]

I'm very good at pestering the hell out of people.

I've dealt with worse than being pestered.

And yet, you just told my brother it sounded like torture.

The choice is yours. Do you want to learn what I'll figure out if I go digging? Cause I bet it'll be a lot more than a simple name.

I mean, I already know a whole lot more than you want me to. You're pretty obvious.

Hmm, I wonder what could be worse to deal with than being tortured?

[Something like getting beaten almost to death with a crowbar, perhaps? Then actually killed in an explosion, then brought back to find out your death didn't matter to the people who were the most important to you?]

Listen, even if you had some kind of back channel to law enforcement databases from here, you wouldn't find anything on me. I'd bet my fingerprints on it. [Thanks, Bruce, for erasing all that years ago.] And there's no way you have anything on me from just talking to me once.

[Please show him the receipts.]

[She must have been very good this year. Santa brought her a dipshit to fuck with.]

You chose the name "John Doe" as your fake name. If you really wanted to go generic, you would have went with John Smith. If you really wanted to not get caught you would have picked something common, but not so obviously common. James Griffin or something. But no. You went with something obvious. So you're making a statement.

My guess? You've died, or came very close to that. Probably as a teenager. You blame your former friends and loved ones for it, and you don't want them to know you're back, not until you're ready. You're violent, probably planning some sort of revenge, and from a world of superheroes and villains.

[It's impossible to miss the satisfaction in her tone as she adds:]

That's from just talking to you once. Would you like me to tell you what five minutes of research have turned up?