entranceway | one; audio {with bitter words, that's how the boy talks.}

[Jason woke up inside the mansion, gave it all a cursory look-through, and promptly noped the hell on out of there. Ain’t nobody got time for this Wonderland theme park bullshit - especially not the Red Hood.

Of the available options, the forest seemed like the best way out, so that’s where Jason is now, trampling through the brush, snapping twigs underfoot as he mutters his complaints into the comm device:]

This would be going a lot easier if there had been any vehicles worth taking …

[The sounds of movement stop, and Jason sighs loudly. He is Officially Lost, and he wasn’t in the best mood to begin with, so he’s understandably a little tense in addressing whoever might be listening.]

All right, this is officially stupid, and I don’t have time for stupid. Got much bigger fish to fry, so I’ll get right to the point. Whose head do I have to stuff in a duffel bag to get a map of the way out of here? Tick tock, losers, answer fast – Daddy doesn’t like being kept waiting.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Someone really needs to give you the brochure when you get back to civilization, old man. Death isn't permanent here. When people die, they come back.

Actually, here. I have electronic copies of the welcome packet.

Dipper and Mabel's Guide to Wonderland
Brochure

Pay special attention to the parts in the brochure about Communication and the microwave. I wouldn't want someone of your age to get confused.

[Does this guy sound young and relatively modern? Yes. Is that going to stop Tim from talking shit? No way.]

I know how to use a damn microwave, bubba.

[But he does take a few minutes to glance through the documents and absorb the information within.]

This is all incredibly stupid.

My mistake, padre. Just thought someone of your venerable age might need a few pointers. Glad to hear you’ve kept up with modern technology.

And yes, it is. I was about 95% I was hallucinating under the influence of an Arkham escapee when I arrived, but alas. No such luck.

[Arkham. That stops his blood cold, because that would be one hell of a coincidence, if it is a coincidence. Only one way to find out, though.]

Arkham? What's that?

It's an asylum for the criminally insane in my universe.

I figured Tetch--one of the inmates who has an Alice in Wonderland fixation--was a really good candidate for having created this place, but it's way beyond his scope.

[OK, that can't be a coincidence; the descriptions of Arkham and Tetch - Jervis Tetch, the Mad Hatter, that must be who this kid's talking about - ring too close to home to be a mere coincidence.]

Sounds like this place you're from is a real hoot. What'd you say it was called?

Gotham City.

Or did you mean Arkham Asylum--which is about as secure as an eight year old's piggy bank, by the way. That's one of the reasons I thought when I got here that this whole thing could be one of the inmates taking a little vacation from the work of getting sane.

[Aha. There are the magic words. Definitely not a coincidence, then.]

You seem to know an awful lot about an asylum for crazies for such a young whippersnapper.

I've been watching the news and reading the paper since I was a kid. Arkham breakouts are always headlines.

['Since he was a kid.' So like. Yesterday.]

Seems like a weird hobby for a kid.

[Jason certainly didn't read newspapers for updates on crime when he was a kid - he was too busy living that life.]

I have it on excellent authority that I was an extremely weird kid.

You still are a kid, sonny boy. Too soon to tell if you're extremely weird, though, but I'm leaning toward yes.

I hope I don't disappoint, pop. I'd hate to let you down.

[Whoever this kid is, he's sassy as hell, and that's a quality Jason can definitely appreciate.]

Well, I'll be sure to keep you updated, Weird Kid From Gotham.

Sure thing, Stranger Danger from Somewhere.

You can call me John Doe.

[And like hell is he gonna say where he's from.]

If we’re doing fake names, I like mine better.

And if I was asking your opinion, that might count for something.

I'm so shocked that the good opinion of some random kid you've never met from a place you've never heard of means nothing to you.

And hurt.

Deeply hurt.

Better get used to it, short stuff. Life's full of pain.

I can't express the depth of my shock and dismay.

I'll be crying into my pillow tonight as I try to comes to terms with my disillusionment.

I thought everything was rainbows and puppies.

Edited 2017-12-10 03:27 (UTC)

Dead puppies, maybe.

I bet you're a hit a kids' birthday parties.

Oddly enough, I don't really get invited to many of those.

Weird.

[audio]

scathefires - 2017-12-20 01:25 (UTC) - Expand

mrsarcastic003 - 2017-12-20 05:13 (UTC) - Expand

scathefires - 2017-12-20 05:20 (UTC) - Expand

mrsarcastic003 - 2017-12-20 05:26 (UTC) - Expand

scathefires - 2017-12-20 16:31 (UTC) - Expand

mrsarcastic003 - 2017-12-21 05:48 (UTC) - Expand

scathefires - 2017-12-26 18:54 (UTC) - Expand

mrsarcastic003 - 2017-12-27 05:37 (UTC) - Expand

scathefires - 2018-01-02 04:30 (UTC) - Expand

mrsarcastic003 - 2018-01-03 06:23 (UTC) - Expand

scathefires - 2018-01-04 16:13 (UTC) - Expand

mrsarcastic003 - 2018-01-06 05:02 (UTC) - Expand