one; audio {with bitter words, that's how the boy talks.}

[scathefires]

[Jason woke up inside the mansion, gave it all a cursory look-through, and promptly noped the hell on out of there. Ain’t nobody got time for this Wonderland theme park bullshit - especially not the Red Hood.

Of the available options, the forest seemed like the best way out, so that’s where Jason is now, trampling through the brush, snapping twigs underfoot as he mutters his complaints into the comm device:]

This would be going a lot easier if there had been any vehicles worth taking …

[The sounds of movement stop, and Jason sighs loudly. He is Officially Lost, and he wasn’t in the best mood to begin with, so he’s understandably a little tense in addressing whoever might be listening.]

All right, this is officially stupid, and I don’t have time for stupid. Got much bigger fish to fry, so I’ll get right to the point. Whose head do I have to stuff in a duffel bag to get a map of the way out of here? Tick tock, losers, answer fast – Daddy doesn’t like being kept waiting.

Comments

[scathefires]

Oh, so just like normal life. Got it.

[lifeisntfun]

Well, you're a ray of sunshine.
I'm Beatrice. We'll probably get along.

[scathefires]

John. [Is the fake name he's using, yes.] And I kinda doubt it - I don't usually get along with people.

[lifeisntfun]

Oh, okay. You can continue to be a jerk, then.

[scathefires]

Well, I wouldn't say it's what I do best, but it's probably at least in my top five.

[lifeisntfun]

Ohhh, tough guy.
I'm so impressed.

[scathefires]

If that's actually true, you're pretty easily impressed.

[lifeisntfun]

Really? A jerk like you isn't fluent in sarcasm?

[scathefires]

'Course I am. You're not?

[lifeisntfun]

Nooooo, of course not.

[scathefires]

Somehow I don't think you're being entirely truthful here.

[lifeisntfun]

Whatever gave you that idea, genius?

[scathefires]

A lifetime of experience.

[lifeisntfun]

Good for you, buddy.

[scathefires]

Hey, you asked.

[lifeisntfun]

Not sincerely, though.

You're hopeless.

[scathefires]

Yeah, like I've never heard that before.

[lifeisntfun]

I'm not even a little surprised.

[scathefires]

Wow, you're a huge downer.

[lifeisntfun]

I've been told that, and I don't care. Life is horrible and unfair, why should I pretend it isn't? To make you more comfortable? Not likely.

[scathefires]

No, I'm just impressed that you're managing to bring me down. Usually it's the other way around.

[lifeisntfun]

I can't blame you, I am pretty impressive.

[scathefires]

Give yourself a gold star, if you want.

[lifeisntfun]

Hey, you know, some people just don't appreciate pure greatness when they see it.

[scathefires]

Well, hey, give yourself another star for modesty, while you're at it.