entranceway | one; audio {with bitter words, that's how the boy talks.}

[Jason woke up inside the mansion, gave it all a cursory look-through, and promptly noped the hell on out of there. Ain’t nobody got time for this Wonderland theme park bullshit - especially not the Red Hood.

Of the available options, the forest seemed like the best way out, so that’s where Jason is now, trampling through the brush, snapping twigs underfoot as he mutters his complaints into the comm device:]

This would be going a lot easier if there had been any vehicles worth taking …

[The sounds of movement stop, and Jason sighs loudly. He is Officially Lost, and he wasn’t in the best mood to begin with, so he’s understandably a little tense in addressing whoever might be listening.]

All right, this is officially stupid, and I don’t have time for stupid. Got much bigger fish to fry, so I’ll get right to the point. Whose head do I have to stuff in a duffel bag to get a map of the way out of here? Tick tock, losers, answer fast – Daddy doesn’t like being kept waiting.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What makes you think I was actually asking for help? And for the record, decapitation isn't a kink - it's a method of persuasion.

You literally asked for d-directions out here. That was like the second thing you said. Also decapitation as a method of persuasion d-doesn't work for the terrorists, so what the fuck makes you think it'll work for you.

Previous experience.

So you're a terrorist, okay. Good for you.

Nah. You said decapitation as a method of persuasion doesn't work for terrorists, and it worked pretty well for me. Crime lord's probably more accurate.

[Yep, he's totally nonchalant about all this. He's a crime lord, nbd.]

So even shittier, basically.

Your mileage may vary.

Crime lord is literally the shittiest, most useless job title you could possibly have in Wonderland. W-We don't even have an economy. What the fuck kind of crimes do you think y-you're gonna be doing?

Don't know - I haven't decided yet but I'm sure you'll be the first person I tell when I do.

Good luck, there's a fuckton of h-hero types around here.

And I bet they're all just as useless as the ones I'm used to dealing with, too.

One of them's a S-Superman knock-off I think, so good luck.

[Truth, justice, and the American way. Sure, whatever.]

Yeah, I'll stand by my original assessment.

Are you trying to tell me y-you're from a world with Superman.

[Great this guy's probably some lameass villain from an comic arc he never read or something.]

What, you're not?

I have access to the multiverse, so yes, th-there's approximately seven trillion Supermen within portalling distance.

Seven trillion - that sounds tiresome.

The multiverse is infinite, what can you do?

Personally? I'd say pick a spot and stay there.

Why the fuck would I do that.

I'm not telling you how to live your life, I just said that's what I would do.

Then you're even more boring than I thought.

And if I had even half a shit to spare about your opinion of me, that might actually mean something.

Mine is the only opinion around here that you sh-should give a shit about.

Nah. Ain't happening.

audio.

wriggedywrecked - 2017-12-29 23:59 (UTC) - Expand

scathefires - 2018-01-02 04:06 (UTC) - Expand