entranceway | [video] the most punderful time of the year

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[video] the most punderful time of the year

[Sans is out at his hotdog stand, apparently oblivious to the growing cold. His black cat, 4, is a lot less oblivious, considering he's curled up in Sans's hood. He's peering dubiously at the camera while Sans fiddles with condiments. This is the first time Sans has really been out in public since the last event.]

probably only a couple more days till wonderland throws the holidays at us, huh? gonna be my third one, personally. wonder how bad it's gonna be this time. last year we didn't sleep and kept waking up in a wonderland where everyone was brainwashed. year before that, i almost froze to death. despite, yanno, bein' a skeleton.

[Sans sets about toasting a few hotdog buns on the grill behind him.]

hey, so...indulge me. if you could have any one thing for gyftmas, or christmas, or whatever you celebrate--what would it be? no limits. could be purely conceptual or intangible. just any one thing.

...and hey, if you wanna give a sarcastic answer, feel free. think we've all had enough truth or dare where you can't pick dare lately, after all. i'm just curious.

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nah, yeah. i know. hard work.

[That's the thing, isn't it? It's not just optimism. It's hard work. Lots of hard work, every single day, every single moment, and god, it's hard enough just surviving. And half the time back home, he doesn't.]

i appreciate it, but i'm good. don't worry about me, yeah?

[Oh my god she is menacing the furniture now.]

huh, both those things sound pretty great.

it's nice how some things carry over like that.

[Some things just seem to be present in every world.]

yep, i'm a monster. it's sort of a blanket term for a whole bunch of different species. we're all made of magic, though.

oh. uh, well. the humans imprisoned us beneath a mountain for a thousand or so year, so. yeah.

Really? There's more holidays than just Gyftmas? I bet Santa has a hard time keeping up with them all.

[It shouldn't be that surprising. Humans had more traditions than he could possibly imagine, but it's sounds like something he'd enjoy learning about anyway.

Also yeah, he still thinks Santa is a thing.]

... Really? Like you wouldn't mind - us talking about space stuff, I mean?

[He can't help his surprise, even though Sans hasn't been aggressive or angry with him in the slightest. But he just- he doesn't-

Why?]

heh, well i think santa's exclusive to gyftmas. and christmas, i guess. seems they're pretty similar. there's holidays for probably every day of the year.

[Humans like celebrating. It's one of the really good things about them, as far as he's concerned.]

[He actually pauses for a moment and gives it some real thought. He's not as leery of sharing his interests in Wonderland as he used to be. He's long since stopped trying to keep the kids at arm's length. And Asriel...it's as complicated as it is with Chara and Frisk. Asriel, as far as Sans understands, has his soul and his conscience. It doesn't erase the shit he did, but...]

[On the other hand, it's not like Sans actually remembers most of what he did.]

you know? i actually wouldn't mind. i like space stuff. i don't, uh, get many chances to talk about it with people, so...i dunno. it'd be nice.

[This is backfiring!!!]

Well, you're getting neither!!!! Take that! Now you guess what I want.

(Startled chatter.)

Has this conflict been resolved?

Hmmm…this mystery just gets deeper and deeper. It’s been a while since I’ve read the original books, but apparently, the White Queen does play a substantial role in ‘The Looking Glass’. So, why do we not hear about the White Queen nearly as often as the other two queens…? Well, besides the fact that she has passed, of course. I wonder if there’s anything in the archives that could point to the answer to this…

[Turing makes a mental note to themselves to scour through the archives to see if any guests in the past have talked about the White Queen at all…

They do stiffen up when they hear that robots were apparently not left out of the dreaming.]

Wait, but…how? …no, no. I really shouldn’t be trying to make too much sense out of Wonderland. I feel like the more I learn about this place, the less I truly know.

aww, i was looking forward to ketchup.

[He is grinning so much.]

hm, for you? a new cool sword. or maybe a spear. or both. like a sword spear.

sorta. at the point i'm at, the barrier that was keeping us underground had just been destroyed. some of my friends are from further along. apparently monsters make it to the surface and live there happily among humans.

[He doubts it's that simple. It doesn't even matter, anyway. There's always a Reset.]

it could just be that she was respected enough that none of the denizens want to talk about her, but...i dunno. it's wonderland. things are never what they seem, and everything's always more complicated than it needs to be.

[He really just doesn't know. Hell, maybe one of the other denizens killed the White Queen themselves. Or maybe it was one of the other queens.]

[He shrugs at the question.]

i dunno. maybe it just gets you guys when you're in--heh, in sleep mode or something.

--A SWORD SPEAR????

[Holy shit???]

LIKE A GLAIVE??? BUT, NO, BETTER, LIKE A... DRAGONSLAYER SWORDSPEAR!!! LIKE WHAT THAT ONE GUY HAD IN THAT ONE ANIME, WHEN HE HELD IT IN THE AIR IT SUMMONED LIGHTING!!!

[You know, that anime called Dark Souls 3. Everyone's seen that one.]

ARE YOU GETTING ME A LIGHTNING-SUMMONING SWORDSPEAR???

uh...i didn't know there was a real word for it...

[Oh god now it's backfiring on him instead.]

i mean...i guess i could try?

Yeah! Hard work!

_{[They're agreeing, right? So why does it seem like they're still talking apples and oranges? Ryuji's onto you, Sans.]}

No deal! Of course I'm gonna worry.

[Asriel glances down for a moment, fighting with the own thoughts in his head. Was Sans really giving him another chance? Or maybe he was trying to trick him - lure him in, and then when Asriel finally lets his guard down, he'll get his revenge. That's what people are like, that's what-

That's what Flowey would do.

No one in Wonderland has done that to him, no one here has hurt him, even though he doesn't understand.

... Monsters really are weird, aren't they?]

... Ha ha.

[He smiles weakly.]

I um... I think I'd like that too, Sans. I never had much of a chance to talk about it to other people either.

guess i can't stop you.

[His loss. He'll learn sooner or later that Sans isn't worth this kind of effort.]

anyway. i got hotdogs to sell.

Ah, yes! I believe Asriel had begun to tell me some things about monsters. It's very interesting actually, I'm honestly happy to learn more about you all.

[Anything novel to focus on when you're stuck in a mansion, right? But actually, the monsters he'd met were all pretty nice so far.]

I suppose that would be quite a concern for a skeleton. There's... little in the way of ameliorating circumstances.

[He watches Asriel look away, look down, probably debating with himself. Wondering whether to trust Sans at all--and god, he shouldn't. Sans knows he shouldn't. Sans might be genuinely trying to make an effort, but he knows that every time he's tried in the past with the other two kids, he's come up short. He'll let this kid down too, eventually.]

[But he still wants to try. It just...there's no point, really. There's no point in holding grudges, because once they go home, it'll all continue as it was. They'll all go right back to where they were. Wonderland is the only real fresh start any of them will ever, ever have.]

then let's do it one of these days. it's cloudy most nights in winter, but on clear nights i take out my telescope. well, the stars aren't real, but it's close enough. hot chocolate, some snacks, a telescope, and a cold, clear night. it's nice.

There's a word for every type of weapon!!! If someone thought of it, someone made it!

[She grins at him, noticing his hesitance.]

It's fine if you don't get me a Dragonslayer Swordspear!!! I mean, try, but if it doesn't work out, I trust you to get me something awesome. I ain't giving you any more clues though!!!

Acknowledged. We are pleased to hear this.

ah, cool, you've met asriel? he's a good kid.

[When he's not a flower, at least.]

it's nice when humans show interest.

yeah. i mean...a lot of monsters don't have to worry about that sorta thing. but even the ones who do have, uh, other parts that'll keep the bone from just--uh, falling off.

[If a skeleton breaks a bone that bone is sometimes just gone. Sans shrugs.]

fortunately i don't really hafta worry about that sorta thing.

what about...like...a wheel made of swords. would that be a thing?

[Please tell him that's not a thing.]

well...i'll at least try, heh. but don't worry, i'll make sure it's appropriately "undyne."

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[video] the most punderful time of the year

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