entranceway | [video] irrational attachments, morty

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[video] irrational attachments, morty

[Rick appears to be...in the library, of all places. Just chilling at one of the desks, and when he switches on the feed, he holds up a folded piece of paper.]

So she left me a letter. She probably left a lot of people letters, whatever.

[He figures there's no point in specifying who he's talking about. It should be obvious.]

I don't believe in sentiment, or shit like honoring the wishes of the dead--a-and let's face it, in this place, going home might as well be the same thing as dying. Because real fucking death sure doesn't mean jack shit around here. I don't care about W-Wonderland, and I barely even know most of you, a-and I don't plan on ever knowing most of you.

And libraries?

[He gestures to encompass the whole room.]

I don't care about them. They're archaic, l-like she was. One of those things that k-keep existing for some fucking reason, no matter how advanced a society gets.

[Like how she kept existing here. "Nevertheless, she persisted" etc etc. But nothing in the entire multiverse lasts for ever.]

But.

[But.]

She cared about this place. She was smart and practical. A-And with information distribution and c-consolidation being as fucked up as it is in Wonderland, some archaic bullshit like this is actually important. And, fuck, it's one of those...stability things. Civilization things. It's a basic fucking law of the u-universe that you can't have chaos without order.

And fuck me but does this place get fucking boring. I n-need a fucking hobby.

She wanted me to protect the library, so I will. Someone who actually gives a shit should t-take over as the next librarian, but in the meantime I'm gonna make some basic fucking upgrades. Digitize everything, a-add some computers, build robots to re-shelve books or whatever, since I'm sure as fuck not learning the Dewey fucking decimal system myself. Install some self-defense mechanisms so no one can fucking Alexandria this shit. And anyone who fucks with the library, she's given me f-free pass to murder you.

Any complaints can be directed straight to my ass.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[This is what he gets for talking to a pony, this is exactly what he gets. ]

Honestly, this kind of thing happens all the time back home. The morality lessons.

[ALL the time. ]

[A long pause as he's forced to realize he's sharing a world with children's cartoon characters.]

...M-Maybe don't examine that too closely.

[This is his life now. ]

What? The morality lessons? Kind of hard not to, they usually just...happen. With no warning.

[He'd really rather not see this random sparkly unicorn dude have an existential breakdown, so time to steer the conversation away a little.]

Yeah, morality is bullshit. Science is better.

[Rick Sanchez: a true humanitarian. Ponitarian? ]

Oh! Well, science is very interesting! [And less complicated than morality. ] What field do you study?

[He burps.] All of them.

[This is great news, the best. ]

Really?! That's fascinating. Do you have a favourite? Mine's geology.

[Hmmmmmm...]

Eh, probably a tie between quantum mechanics and..............chemistry...

I don't know much about mechanics, I'm afraid my world is fairly far behind on that sort of thing- magic tends to take precedence.

But chemistry is exciting! Delving into the composition that makes up...well, the whole universe.

Probably haven't even made it to the moon...

[Stupid magic. Stupid pony world. Stupid fantasy shit.]

Yes. The composition of the universe is e-exactly what I was thinking of.

[Not other kinds of chemicals, of course. No one in the entire multiverse wants to hear a pony give an after school special about the hazards of certain "chemicals." Please god.]

The Princess of the Moon was banished there for a thousand years after she uh- tried to plunge the world into eternal night. So technically she's gone there. She probably didn't enjoy it all that much, though, it being her prison and all.

[Did that make it better, Rick? DID IT?!!! ]

You must have gained some fascinating research. Have you discovered anything about this place?

[Absolutely do not do that to yourself. ]

[Gently, but with a lot of feeling,] What the fuck.

Everything I've discovered is p-public record. This place is a fucking shitshow. As soon as you discover one thing, it ch-changes the rules. Piece of shit world.

[He gives a soft uh-huh to that. See, Rick, ponyland is fucked up behind all the sunshine and rainbows. ]

Seriously? So there's no hard and fast rules? How does this place even function?

[Yikes.]

Every rule they fucking give us has an exception. The only hard and fast rule that doesn't have some b-bullshit exception so far is that no one can leave Wonderland under their own p-power. Wonderland has to kick th-them out.

Which is interesting in of-itself. It suggests a certain level of sentience to the world- or at least, a very sophisticated manner of blocking any possible attempts to breach dimensional walls- especially given it would have to compere against various world sciences and all the multitudes of different magic each resident can bring with them here from their home worlds.

That sort of power has to take a lot of energy. I expect the power this place expends in keeping us here is likely higher than it takes to bring us here or cause all the ridiculous events.

[He's actually kind of getting into this conversation. Never mind that he's talking to a goddamn pony, this guy does actually seem to be Somewhat Intelligent. Which is always a nice surprise, considering how many idiots there are in this godforsaken place.]

Oh, no, yeah, th-this place is absolutely 100% alive and probably sentient. Wonderland's got more moods than a teenager. A-And half the time it seems like it's actively doing shit. Not the events, b-because those seem to be more external, m-maybe Wonderland taking advantage of the energy produced by memories from other worlds. I wouldn't be surprised if th-this world turned out to be a fucking parasite. I've run into them before. Never sentient ones, bu-but there's always a first fucking time for everything in this bitch of a multiverse.

[If there's one thing Sunburst loves, it's some good, solid intellectual conversation. Trying to pull apart a thing to understand how it works. Just look past the pony thing, Rick, it's fine, it's fine. ]

You know, that makes sense, the parasite thing. Given how it gains energy from our memories, it would make sense it would try to capture others with aforementioned memories and feed from them. A little like a flytrap.

Perhaps those who are sent home are done so simply because their memories are unpalatable, and those that stay are the sort of memories it prefers to keep alive. Which, lucky us, I guess.

Also makes sense g-given how people who are here for too long eventually lose all their memories and all sense of s-self.

[So maybe he'll start studying Wonderland from a more parasitology standpoint.]

"Unpalatable" being s-simple and normal and n-non-deadly. Honestly, fuck this place. Probably explains why everyone and their mother has t-tragic fucking backstories.

Hmm. It feeds and feeds until there's nothing left. Not a pleasant way to go, in all honesty. Still alive, but not really living.

[This is the sort of evil crap Chrysalis or Tirek would think up. ]

Well, I suppose that makes sense. Tragic backstories tend to come with stronger memories, and as a result, more horrible events from those memories- adding in to a strong memory is likely a more filling meal, and you end up with a target demographic.

A fuckin' Sarlac pit. Fuck this.

[If only it were as simple as "fuck this."]

Hell, that might be h-how Wonderland chooses who to bring here. Wonderland's got a tyyyyyyype.

I don't think I've ever heard of a sarlac pit before.

[It doesn't sound super fun. ]

And lucky us, we're exactly the sort of type it loves.

Star Wars reference. Y-You probably don't have Star Wars.

[Not if they're casually banishing people to the moon with fuckin magic.]

Maybe I could just erase everyone's worst memories. Just get rid of the f-fuel.

No, I don't. Did...celestial beings have some sort of battle?

[Because obviously that's what "Star Wars" means. OBVIOUSLY. ]

Er- I think that would probably have pretty terrible consequences.

Fuck's sake, d-do you at least have movies in your world? TV? Plays at least?

It usually does, but I could have failsafes in place. It worked pretty well b-back home.

We have plays. But no movies or teevee. Tchnology really isn't all that advanced back home, I'm afraid.

[That's what happens when the world in question is chock full of magic- magic becomes the solution to everything including 'magic'.]

You know Wonderland would probably find some way to make it backfire.

[video] irrational attachments, morty

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