[video] irrational attachments, morty

[wriggedywrecked]

[Rick appears to be...in the library, of all places. Just chilling at one of the desks, and when he switches on the feed, he holds up a folded piece of paper.]

So she left me a letter. She probably left a lot of people letters, whatever.

[He figures there's no point in specifying who he's talking about. It should be obvious.]

I don't believe in sentiment, or shit like honoring the wishes of the dead--a-and let's face it, in this place, going home might as well be the same thing as dying. Because real fucking death sure doesn't mean jack shit around here. I don't care about W-Wonderland, and I barely even know most of you, a-and I don't plan on ever knowing most of you.

And libraries?

[He gestures to encompass the whole room.]

I don't care about them. They're archaic, l-like she was. One of those things that k-keep existing for some fucking reason, no matter how advanced a society gets.

[Like how she kept existing here. "Nevertheless, she persisted" etc etc. But nothing in the entire multiverse lasts for ever.]

But.

[But.]

She cared about this place. She was smart and practical. A-And with information distribution and c-consolidation being as fucked up as it is in Wonderland, some archaic bullshit like this is actually important. And, fuck, it's one of those...stability things. Civilization things. It's a basic fucking law of the u-universe that you can't have chaos without order.

And fuck me but does this place get fucking boring. I n-need a fucking hobby.

She wanted me to protect the library, so I will. Someone who actually gives a shit should t-take over as the next librarian, but in the meantime I'm gonna make some basic fucking upgrades. Digitize everything, a-add some computers, build robots to re-shelve books or whatever, since I'm sure as fuck not learning the Dewey fucking decimal system myself. Install some self-defense mechanisms so no one can fucking Alexandria this shit. And anyone who fucks with the library, she's given me f-free pass to murder you.

Any complaints can be directed straight to my ass.

Comments

[wriggedywrecked]

Yeah, d-don't worry, I'm definitely planning on chopping my fucking limbs off.

[He holds the blade by the dull edge and examines it, squinting at it from different angles. Yeah, dang, that's pretty fucking sharp. And relatively sturdy, but it's also the sort of blade that's going to break after only a few uses.]

I can improve on this. Make stronger b-blades while preserving the sharpness.

[angewiesen]

Yeah? [Now that's an improvement Jean wouldn't mind.] We make them to snap off at these segments in case it gets stuck in Titan flesh. Could you make it sharp enough so that wouldn't be a problem anymore?

[wriggedywrecked]

I've got alloys that can cut through solid steel like butter. S-So unless these Titans are made of steel or whatever...and fuck, if that's actually the case, I can do better. It's not hard.

[angewiesen]

Regular Titans aren't, but some Shifters can harden their skin into a sort of crystal that's pretty much impenetrable. I'm not worried about any of them showing up though.

[Even if they did, this wasn't their world. Waging war here would be meaningless. And if they tried, there were plenty of strong people here who could defend the mansion against one Shifter.]

[wriggedywrecked]

The fuck is a shifter.

[It sounds self-explanatory, but like...come on. He knows about Titans. They're just giants that eat people or whatever. Some Jack and the beanstalk bullshit, except way harder to kill.]

[angewiesen]

A human that can turn into a Titan. They retain their human intelligence when they do. There's only a few of them, and a couple of them are on our side.

[wriggedywrecked]

God, y-your world is fucking weird.

[angewiesen]

I know it doesn't make any sense, but it is what it is. Sort of like how everything is around here.

[wriggedywrecked]

Wonderland isn't supposed to make sense.

[God, WHATEVER.]

Alright, give me like a day and I can have all th-this shit finished. You want unlimited gas too, right?

[angewiesen]

Rocket's battery works fine, and lasts long enough it might as well be unlimited. But hey, if you want to give yourself a challenge, I won't stop you.

[wriggedywrecked]

[Muttering,] Competitor.

[Nay, collaborator!]

Whatever, I'll see what I can do. Should only take a day or so.

[angewiesen]

Alright. I'll leave you to it.

[He finishes his beer, and throws the can away before leaving the lab.]

Thanks.