Dave Strider ♎ Mirror (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
knightinreverse) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
entranceway2012-04-11 01:06 am
knightinreverse) wrote in entranceway2012-04-11 01:06 am
[Text] 05 Hash Raps
[There is a Shadow Dave on the loose after his mirror crossed over to the real and got affected by the bullshit mansion event stuff. He's...in a mood. He wants some fun, and that means tormenting everyone with what Dave/Mirror Dave really thinks of them deep inside.]
well hello real side.
looks like the mirrors have been having fun with recent events.
probably a good thing in the long run considering whats going on with the rabbit and the monster hiding in the dark over there.
but hey! what can you do?
but thats not the point of this.
the point is actually coming up right now in the form of making a few specific shout outs to certain people.
well start with whatever comes to my mind first! that sounds like much more fun than doing it in any sort of list with some sort of "order" to it.
lets start with jade harley, the bitch of space!
(get it? shes a dog now.)
goddamn girl.
ive got so many bones to pick with you.
first, a huge fucking THANK YOU for SHOOTING ME and killing me like that!
real nice, id give it a 10/10 in the good friend competition!
and then you almost chickened out of bringing me back to life in my dream selfs body.
i deduct 10 points just for that.
what was killing me once not good enough for you?
you wanted to leave me to die twice?
best fucking friend a guy could ever ask for, you social reject.
i would take a bullet for you.
oh wait.
i already did.
pretty much an entire clips worth of bullets.
silly me!
on that note, lets move on to another worthy contender, john goddamn egbert, the heir of breath!
youve got an entire laundry list of problems that i could just shout to the heavens and never even scratch the fucking surface.
shit, i mean, how many times do you have to say stupid things for people to get the point that youre a dumbass?
how many times do i have to sit there and keep my mouth shut over how retarded you make yourself out to be?
how many times do i have to endure listening to you say hurtful shit when its obvious that your mouth and your brain just don't have the same symbiotic relationship everyone elses has?
your only saving grace is
actually
you dont have any such thing!
youre basically that dog we cant ever train because you always find a way to fuck the trick up royally.
but its okay!
youre just too cute for anyone to get out the newspaper and smack your nose with it for being a bad dog!
well.
thats not necessarily true.
i did kill you once for reasons we both know, didnt i?
so in a way i DID punish you for your stupidity!
that makes me feel so.
much.
better.
about myself.
anyway, enough about the biggest loser besides me.
santana lopez!
youre the lucky lady for this next part!
and god youre such a bitch.
thats nothing new, though, now is it?
at LEAST youre more interesting than your mirror.
not much of a saving grace if im perfectly honest.
she has to be the biggest pushover since chuckie from the goddamn rugrats!
not to mention a huge prude and more celibate than a nun.
i mean, you say one bad thing and dear, sweet "saintana" just fucking runs over to her boyfriend in tears, asking him to fix it for her.
jesus christ, even johns MIRROR has more independence than that!
well congratulations, santana, you are most certainly better than your mirror in every single way, but not by much.
alright, i know hes not here anymore, and honestly?
good riddance.
im glad hes not here.
who am i talking about NOW you ask?
my own dear big brother!
heres a shocking plot twist for everyone: i hate him.
yep!
you read that right!
i.
hate.
him.
and also everything he stands for.
theres no use pointing out every fault he has that im just too fucking stupid to consciously realize because the fucker in question isnt even here to defend himself.
so ill cut it short and save him the embarrassment.
ive saved the best for last, of course.
its only fitting to include johns mirror, nicknamed quincy to keep everyone straight on which failure were talking about.
hes the loudest douchebag on our side of the mirror.
if you had to ask any of us from the mirror world what there is to like about quincy, wed have a pretty fucking hard time coming up with even ONE good thing about him!
yet somehow dear mirror dave, called lee, is still his boyfriend.
mirror jades only excuse is that hes her brother.
the only reason im still stuck with him is because im lonely enough and i just have this irresistible urge to fix every little fucking thing.
sometimes, deep down, i just wish that he would go into a sugar induced coma for a few blessed days of silence.
goddamn, it has to be some sort of universal curse for BOTH daves to fall for losers and rejects like john quincy egbert.
were just that desperate and lonely enough to stay with them, and oh, damn, how hurt wed be if he were to just.
disappear.
and forget everything weve been through for almost an entire year in wonderland.
i have to wonder if they even realize just how scared i am about that.
it wouldnt surprise me in the least if they didnt!
after all, theyre the most oblivious pieces of shit ive ever met.
hell, john couldnt piece it together that ive had a crush/squish on him ever since he attained best friend status.
one of only a very select few people i would really let in, but even then i keep them at a certain distance.
but its not just john.
its also jade and rose and terezi.
im just constantly afraid that when they see how much of a loser i really am, theyd just up and abandon me.
like "wow why was i even friends with that dave kid in the first place?"
at least daves mirror is slightly more independent, but thats not saying much.
one would deny that it hurts, the other would openly grieve the loss, but in the end?
theyd both go on like theyre made of fucking diamond when really theyre made of cheap glass.
"i dont want to be alone! i just want acceptance!"
but in the end theyll most likely toss me aside.
im gearing up for that everyday of my life.
gotta make sure nobody touches my heart only to rip it out and feed it to the crows.
anyway.
i hope i made a good enough impression on those who dont know me.
dave strider, resident douchebag of a loser, at your fucking service!
well hello real side.
looks like the mirrors have been having fun with recent events.
probably a good thing in the long run considering whats going on with the rabbit and the monster hiding in the dark over there.
but hey! what can you do?
but thats not the point of this.
the point is actually coming up right now in the form of making a few specific shout outs to certain people.
well start with whatever comes to my mind first! that sounds like much more fun than doing it in any sort of list with some sort of "order" to it.
lets start with jade harley, the bitch of space!
(get it? shes a dog now.)
goddamn girl.
ive got so many bones to pick with you.
first, a huge fucking THANK YOU for SHOOTING ME and killing me like that!
real nice, id give it a 10/10 in the good friend competition!
and then you almost chickened out of bringing me back to life in my dream selfs body.
i deduct 10 points just for that.
what was killing me once not good enough for you?
you wanted to leave me to die twice?
best fucking friend a guy could ever ask for, you social reject.
i would take a bullet for you.
oh wait.
i already did.
pretty much an entire clips worth of bullets.
silly me!
on that note, lets move on to another worthy contender, john goddamn egbert, the heir of breath!
youve got an entire laundry list of problems that i could just shout to the heavens and never even scratch the fucking surface.
shit, i mean, how many times do you have to say stupid things for people to get the point that youre a dumbass?
how many times do i have to sit there and keep my mouth shut over how retarded you make yourself out to be?
how many times do i have to endure listening to you say hurtful shit when its obvious that your mouth and your brain just don't have the same symbiotic relationship everyone elses has?
your only saving grace is
actually
you dont have any such thing!
youre basically that dog we cant ever train because you always find a way to fuck the trick up royally.
but its okay!
youre just too cute for anyone to get out the newspaper and smack your nose with it for being a bad dog!
well.
thats not necessarily true.
i did kill you once for reasons we both know, didnt i?
so in a way i DID punish you for your stupidity!
that makes me feel so.
much.
better.
about myself.
anyway, enough about the biggest loser besides me.
santana lopez!
youre the lucky lady for this next part!
and god youre such a bitch.
thats nothing new, though, now is it?
at LEAST youre more interesting than your mirror.
not much of a saving grace if im perfectly honest.
she has to be the biggest pushover since chuckie from the goddamn rugrats!
not to mention a huge prude and more celibate than a nun.
i mean, you say one bad thing and dear, sweet "saintana" just fucking runs over to her boyfriend in tears, asking him to fix it for her.
jesus christ, even johns MIRROR has more independence than that!
well congratulations, santana, you are most certainly better than your mirror in every single way, but not by much.
alright, i know hes not here anymore, and honestly?
good riddance.
im glad hes not here.
who am i talking about NOW you ask?
my own dear big brother!
heres a shocking plot twist for everyone: i hate him.
yep!
you read that right!
i.
hate.
him.
and also everything he stands for.
theres no use pointing out every fault he has that im just too fucking stupid to consciously realize because the fucker in question isnt even here to defend himself.
so ill cut it short and save him the embarrassment.
ive saved the best for last, of course.
its only fitting to include johns mirror, nicknamed quincy to keep everyone straight on which failure were talking about.
hes the loudest douchebag on our side of the mirror.
if you had to ask any of us from the mirror world what there is to like about quincy, wed have a pretty fucking hard time coming up with even ONE good thing about him!
yet somehow dear mirror dave, called lee, is still his boyfriend.
mirror jades only excuse is that hes her brother.
the only reason im still stuck with him is because im lonely enough and i just have this irresistible urge to fix every little fucking thing.
sometimes, deep down, i just wish that he would go into a sugar induced coma for a few blessed days of silence.
goddamn, it has to be some sort of universal curse for BOTH daves to fall for losers and rejects like john quincy egbert.
were just that desperate and lonely enough to stay with them, and oh, damn, how hurt wed be if he were to just.
disappear.
and forget everything weve been through for almost an entire year in wonderland.
i have to wonder if they even realize just how scared i am about that.
it wouldnt surprise me in the least if they didnt!
after all, theyre the most oblivious pieces of shit ive ever met.
hell, john couldnt piece it together that ive had a crush/squish on him ever since he attained best friend status.
one of only a very select few people i would really let in, but even then i keep them at a certain distance.
but its not just john.
its also jade and rose and terezi.
im just constantly afraid that when they see how much of a loser i really am, theyd just up and abandon me.
like "wow why was i even friends with that dave kid in the first place?"
at least daves mirror is slightly more independent, but thats not saying much.
one would deny that it hurts, the other would openly grieve the loss, but in the end?
theyd both go on like theyre made of fucking diamond when really theyre made of cheap glass.
"i dont want to be alone! i just want acceptance!"
but in the end theyll most likely toss me aside.
im gearing up for that everyday of my life.
gotta make sure nobody touches my heart only to rip it out and feed it to the crows.
anyway.
i hope i made a good enough impression on those who dont know me.
dave strider, resident douchebag of a loser, at your fucking service!