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entranceway2019-12-07 09:26 pm
tetractys) wrote in entranceway2019-12-07 09:26 pm
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Channel 12: Wonderland News (text)
PAT, I'D LIKE TO SOLVE THE PUZZLE.
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU GUYS FAIL TO FIGURE ANY OF THIS OUT WITH YOUR TWO EYES FOR MONTHS NOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHY THE AUTHORITY FINDS THIS KIND OF THING ENTERTAINING!
EIGHT OF YOU HAVE THOSE SHINY LITTLE JARS WITH MAGIC INSIDE THEM! YOU'RE GOING TO BE TEMPTED TO GIVE THEM TO ALICE, SO SHE CAN START TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT AREN'T HER CAT! GIVE IT A REST, KID, GET A HOBBY!
AS USUAL, THOUGH, YOUR INSTINCTS ARE COMPLETELY WRONG! WHEN ALICE OPENED THAT LAST JAR, WE LOST PART OF THE MANSION! EVERY TIME THE CORE GETS ONE OF YOU AND YOU IMMEDIATELY FORGET THAT IT GOT YOU, WONDERLAND'S BEEN GETTING NEW FEATURES! I'M GOING TO VENTURE A GUESS BASED ON THE MEMORY SHE JUST GOT BACK THAT HER MEMORIES ARE THE ONLY THING KEEPING MOST OF THE BUILDING STANDING!
"WOW, SO IF WE GIVE BACK HER MEMORIES, WE CAN GO HOME!"
NO, AND SHUT UP BACK THERE! I'M TALKING!
IF SHE GETS THEM BACK, WONDERLAND WON'T BE GONE! SHE CLEARLY DIDN'T MAKE THE CORE, OR SHE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN FED ON IN THE FIRST PLACE!
I'M GONNA SLOW THIS ONE DOWN FOR YOU GUYS, SOME OF YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE YOU'RE COLORING WITH A FULL SET OF CRAYONS!
IF THE KID GETS BACK THOSE MEMORIES, YOU'RE STILL TRAPPED! BUT NOW, YOU DON'T HAVE A BUILDING TO LIVE IN! OR FOOD! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE THINGS, BUT I'VE HEARD THEY'RE PRETTY POPULAR IF YOU'RE A WADDLING MANNEQUIN MADE OF HAIR AND MEAT THAT CALLS ITSELF A HUMAN PERSON!
"BUT BILL CIPHER!" YOU SAY, EVEN THOUGH I JUST TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP. WOW! BAD AT LISTENING. "WHY WARN US ABOUT THIS? OUR BUMBLING INTO DISASTER WOULD BE BOTH FUNNY AND EDUCATIONAL! LIKE GLOBAL WARMING!"
BECAUSE I CAN SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM!
OH YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU GUYS CAN SAVE THE LITTLE GIRL AND NOT HAVE TO BE HOMELESS! WOULDN'T THAT FEEL NICE ON YOUR INTERNAL SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG? WARM AND COZY? ALL THIS FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF YOUR COOPERATION. WITH YOURS TRULY!
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
I'VE BEEN WATCHING YOU GUYS FAIL TO FIGURE ANY OF THIS OUT WITH YOUR TWO EYES FOR MONTHS NOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHY THE AUTHORITY FINDS THIS KIND OF THING ENTERTAINING!
EIGHT OF YOU HAVE THOSE SHINY LITTLE JARS WITH MAGIC INSIDE THEM! YOU'RE GOING TO BE TEMPTED TO GIVE THEM TO ALICE, SO SHE CAN START TALKING ABOUT THINGS THAT AREN'T HER CAT! GIVE IT A REST, KID, GET A HOBBY!
AS USUAL, THOUGH, YOUR INSTINCTS ARE COMPLETELY WRONG! WHEN ALICE OPENED THAT LAST JAR, WE LOST PART OF THE MANSION! EVERY TIME THE CORE GETS ONE OF YOU AND YOU IMMEDIATELY FORGET THAT IT GOT YOU, WONDERLAND'S BEEN GETTING NEW FEATURES! I'M GOING TO VENTURE A GUESS BASED ON THE MEMORY SHE JUST GOT BACK THAT HER MEMORIES ARE THE ONLY THING KEEPING MOST OF THE BUILDING STANDING!
"WOW, SO IF WE GIVE BACK HER MEMORIES, WE CAN GO HOME!"
NO, AND SHUT UP BACK THERE! I'M TALKING!
IF SHE GETS THEM BACK, WONDERLAND WON'T BE GONE! SHE CLEARLY DIDN'T MAKE THE CORE, OR SHE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN FED ON IN THE FIRST PLACE!
I'M GONNA SLOW THIS ONE DOWN FOR YOU GUYS, SOME OF YOU DON'T SEEM LIKE YOU'RE COLORING WITH A FULL SET OF CRAYONS!
IF THE KID GETS BACK THOSE MEMORIES, YOU'RE STILL TRAPPED! BUT NOW, YOU DON'T HAVE A BUILDING TO LIVE IN! OR FOOD! I DON'T CARE ABOUT THESE THINGS, BUT I'VE HEARD THEY'RE PRETTY POPULAR IF YOU'RE A WADDLING MANNEQUIN MADE OF HAIR AND MEAT THAT CALLS ITSELF A HUMAN PERSON!
"BUT BILL CIPHER!" YOU SAY, EVEN THOUGH I JUST TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP. WOW! BAD AT LISTENING. "WHY WARN US ABOUT THIS? OUR BUMBLING INTO DISASTER WOULD BE BOTH FUNNY AND EDUCATIONAL! LIKE GLOBAL WARMING!"
BECAUSE I CAN SOLVE YOUR PROBLEM!
OH YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. YOU GUYS CAN SAVE THE LITTLE GIRL AND NOT HAVE TO BE HOMELESS! WOULDN'T THAT FEEL NICE ON YOUR INTERNAL SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG? WARM AND COZY? ALL THIS FOR THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF YOUR COOPERATION. WITH YOURS TRULY!
WHAT DO YOU SAY?
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IF WE'RE TRAPPED HERE, WE SHOULD AT LEAST GET TO RUN THE PLACE. AM I RIGHT?
WE NEED A NEW QUEEN! AND I THINK I KNOW JUST THE GUY!
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IF I GET THE REINS HERE, I'M GOING TO LET PEOPLE DO WHATEVER THE HECK THEY WANT - AND DO SOME RESEARCH! SEE WHAT ELSE IS OUT THERE!
PLUS, I ACTUALLY HAVE SOME REALITY-BENDING POWER, UNLIKE YOU GUYS! YOU WANT A PUPPY?
[Bill snaps, and a puppy appears wherever Souji is. One of those long-haired ones that looks like a mop.]
BAM! NO PROBLEM.
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Well I DIDN'T want a puppy, but I guess that's a thing I have now.
I'm not sure having reality-bending power should qualify you to be in charge.
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[The puppy vanishes abruptly, an exact replica of how it appeared in reverse.]
I CAN KEEP THIS PLACE RUNNING THE SAME WAY, BUT BETTER!
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Better how?
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I'm still not really convinced it's a good idea.
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WHAT'S YOUR OTHER OPTION, SMART GUY?
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[Partly based on the other responses to Bill's post.]
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